Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Good Night Sweet Polar Cow...

My apologies to those who wanted to see the following post for Earth Day.  Between the two of us - I was asleep at the wheel. 

But to me, EVERY day is Earth Day. 

It's like 'where I live man...'

Oh my.  I don't know how I can begin this post.  But I will, as always, do what I can in spite of my shock, sorrow, and dismay over the following topic. 

GOOD NEWS:  It wasn't a polar bear

BAD NEWS:  It wasn't a polar bear

Given the constraints of time, and the uncertainty of my still trembling hands, I'll keep this post as brief as possible. 

I'm sorry.  Some days it's just hard.

After two reports of polar bears being washed up on the British coast this year, it was only a matter of time before the icebergs arrived.

"Amazed locals" had seen icebergs off the north-west coast of England, at Morecambe Bay in the Irish Sea, according to news reports yesterday.

Many people assume that the UK is too far south to have icebergs, but the fatal collision between the giant passenger liner Titanic and the iceberg which did for her in April 1912 was actually a long way to the south of the British Isles, at latitude 41°46N. The most southerly part of Britain, the Lizard peninsula in Cornwall, lies at 49°55N.

Predictably, however, further investigation revealed yesterday's "icebergs" to be more in the nature of ice floes – the biggest being about 20ft long and three feet thick. They were frozen parts of the sea nonetheless, in an area where temperatures had, on occasions during the recent freeze, climbed no higher than minus 8C.

Reports of polar bears traveling to Britain made the news earlier this year. The RSPB suggested that one had been washed up still alive on the Hebridean island of Mull – the story was an April Fool. The second report came in September when Naomi Lloyd, a presenter of ITV's West Country breakfast bulletin, excitedly informed viewers that a polar bear had been washed up dead at the Cornish seaside town of Bude.

The animal turned out to be a cow, which had been bleached white by the seawater.

Stories regarding the 'washed up' Polar Bear spread quickly throughout the country as environmentalists pointed to the beached carcass as 'Proof Positive' that Global Warming was, in fact, killing Polar Bears.  (And, apparently, floating them on icebergs thousands of miles to the English countryside)

Seriously, you Global Warming Extremist folks - you may want to take a few moments to check for 'udders' prior to sending the Press Releases out worldwide.

For now, the polar ice caps appear to be intact (and by some accounts...  Growing)

Come on, don't have a COW...


R.I.P. Cornwall Cow Friend

'Cornwallis Bovinius Washedupontheshoreus'
      Betsy Belle Bovine (2001 - 2011)

Can't go on, can't go...

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