Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Do You Want to See My 'Little Weiner'?

Admittedly, the title of this post just 'came out wrong' when I wrote it.  But given the amount of time I have to slap this bad boy together, well, I'm just gonna let it rip! 

How could I possibly write a post, with photos, about a little weiner? 

Let alone...  Mine?   
That would be wrong.

So WHAT is the subject of today's voyage into the ethereal void of 'little weinerness / weirdness'?

Is this post about little 'Weiner Dogs'?
No, it's not. 

Is it about an photo I found online of Condi Rice providing the audience at a congressional hearing with an unfortunate 'Visual Aid'?

No, it's not.

Is it about an unfortunately-named dog called:   'Lucky'?

Once again, sadly, it's not. 

Today's post is about something completely, and totally different from the above. 

It's about...

Why I Love the Free Market!

Yes ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages - I LOVE CAPITALISM!

It is the engine which, when left 'mostly alone' from Federal intervention, drives our Great American Experiment's economy boldly into the future.

While doing exhaustive research (defined here as:  "More than six minutes") for today's post I 'Googled':  "little weiner photos" and came up with the above images, as well as 25.7 MILLION other hits. 

NOTE:  You should never Google 'little weiner photos'.  Trust me on this.   

Alas, I was only looking for a specific 'hit' to get today's post going and I found it moments ago.

THIS is the specific item for which I searched extensively (almost 7 FULL minutes)...

This is the 'Adult' Version, complete
with life-like, action 'protrusion'
'Kung Fu Grip' NOT available - Yet.

But wait, there's MORE!!!

When you're spending your hard-earned dollars on the Anthony Weiner Action Figure you want to make sure that he, as always, is in the full 'upright and locked' position. 

To proudly display your 'little weiner' you'll also want to purchase the...
Optional "Vertical-Weiner-Enhancement" Device!

To complete your 'little weiner' collection, be sure to purchase the (non-working - just like the man himself!) Anthony Weiner Blackberry (RIM) device!!!

Imagine the hours of fun YOU can have pretend-texting obscene photos of private parts to people, and children, you do not know!!!
"Hey, who's that on my Blackberry? 
Wait a minute - how old ARE you?!?!?
If you're over 17 - are you nekked??? 
If you're not over 17 - is your Mom there???
Umm, you're not saving these messages, are you?"

Leave it to the American Entrepreneurial spirit to turn a decidely-tacky chain of events into a potential Revenue Stream!  

This is, after all, a truly great country!!!

Other items available via ""?

Celebrate will all America as President Obama single-handedly takes out Osama Bin Laden by purchasing your very own Rambama Action Figure. 

Actual 'guts' available, but in limited supply.
"Why am I smiling, my poll numbers are in the dumper?"

Build your own female Republican Presidential Candidate with a wide assortment of clothing, make-up, hair, and 'Tattoo' options!!!
2010 Palin 'Prom Hair' Head!

Be the coolest kid on your block with your very own Hillary Clinton action figure (surprisingly, Bill Clinton is not available.  I thought he was always 'available' to the ladies...)

What party would be complete without the John (I've been to Viet Nam - so buy my wife's ketchup) Kerry action figure!?!?
"I was against this action figure of myself before I was for it..."

And lastly, what Progressive boy or girl wouldn't love to have the GW Bush action figure to dismember, mutilate, stick pins into, or otherwise blame (out loud and in public) for the current state of our economy!?!?  It's not really President Obama's fault, now is it???
"Look Ma, I'm an action figure -
I'd better do something again soon!"

Have a nice day folks, may all of your action figures have fully-reticulated bodies and Blackberry devices suitable for 'Sexting'!

I love private sector businesses... 

Turning lemons into lemonade 24x7x365!
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