Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Re-Reiding Harry


 .
I wrote the post below in August of 2012, just prior to the 2012 Presidential Elections between President Obama and Mitt Romney.  Given Harry's recent 'retirement' announcement from the Senate (yeah, but he's still going to hang around for almost two full years - don't smile just yet), I thought this may be a good time to revisit the man, the myth, the legend who is 'Harry Reid'.   
 .
So sit back, relax, crack open an icy cold amber colored adult beverage this evening (while not using heavy equipment) and travel with me now back to 2012 when we all hoped for change and all we got was more 'chains' courtesy of Dirty Harry Reid and Barack Hussein Obama...
 .
(BONUS UPDATE:  I've included a new video clip at the end of this post which pretty much puts our pal Harry into context...)
 .



 .
"Hey kids, does anyone know what today is, and why today is important?", asks the man in the brown suit, white shirt, and cow-spotted tie.
 .
Bobby raises a tentative hand, "It's Friday, right Mr. Moos?"
 .
"Yes Bobby, it IS Friday, but that's not why today is important.", says the man as he straightens his jacket and shifts in his chair.  "Anyone else want to take a guess as to why today is special?" he asks.
 .
The room is quiet as the children each look down the line of wooden desk chairs from one to another.  At the end of the row a girl in bright yellow shorts and blue top begins to wave her hand as if it has just been set on fire and she's trying to shake it out.
 .
"Mr. Moos, is it because today is "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day"?", she blurts this out as if the suspense is killing her.
 .
"Yes Tracy, today IS "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day", says the man as he tosses her a sleeved six-pack of Oreo cookies.  "And does anyone know why this makes today special?" he asks them.
 .
Tracy's hand shoots up again, "Because today is the day we can make stuff up and say it out loud for anyone to hear it - right!?!?  And, and, and, we don't have to tell anyone WHY we made it up, or if we actually heard it from someone for real, or if we, um, just pulled it out of the clear blue sky! 
 .
And then we tell the person we made the stuff up about to prove that what we said...  Isn't true.  Isn't that right Mr. Moos?!?!" the girl is now shaking in anticipation knowing the man has more Oreos stashed in his bag and she has answered the question correctly again.
 . 

 .
"You are exactly right Tracy - today is the day that we make stuff up and challenge people (whom we don't like) to prove that it isn't true!  Great answer, but sorry, no more Oreos for you!  
 .
Unfortunately, the FDA has determined that eating more than ten Oreos a week will make you fat, lazy, and quite possibly, a  future Welfare recipient.  Giving you more cookies is morally reckless.  I cannot, in good conscience, give you any more of those wonderful Oreos," he says this as he dons a pair of surgical gloves, reaches into his shopping bag, withdraws a head of Mizuna and tosses it to the girl.  
 .
"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asks.
 .
"Tracy, I have no idea - I don't like even touching the stuff - that's why I pack the gloves..."  Then he stands, pulls off his gloves, tosses them into the bag and walks away leaving the stunned kids wondering what happens next.
 .
"Mr. Moos, hey, Mr. Moos, so when do WE get to make stuff up?" Suzie asks.
 .
"Right after you get a lesson from the Pro.  This man IS a professional - don't try this at home kids..." He pulls a second full sleeve of Oreos from his jacket pocket and pops most of them into his mouth all at once.  
 .
He gags a bit as he chews, the lights dim, a computer whirs to life in the distance as a thin and whiny voice begins to pump from the tinny laptop speakers...
 .

 .
LA Times Online, August 2, 2012:  (Harry Reid) The Democrat, in remarks to the Senate this morning, said "the word's out that he [Romney] hasn't paid any taxes for 10 years." Of course, that "word" has come from none other than Reid himself. Since last month, when he alleged in a Senate floor speech that Romney "basically paid no taxes in the prior 12 years," the Nevada lawmaker has continued to hammer away at the topic.
 .
Reid has said he learned about Romney’s taxes earlier this summer from an investor in Bain Capital who, he said, called his office to pass along the information. The senator has refused to identify the investor and has acknowledged that he can't be certain about the veracity of the charges he's been spreading.

 .
In a conference call with Nevada reporters on Wednesday, he broadened what he said were his sources for the contention that Romney was able to avoid federal taxes.

 .
"I have had a number of people tell me that," said Reid, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, while refusing to elaborate. "I don't think the burden should be on me," Reid told the home-state reporters. "The burden should be on him. He's the one I've alleged has not paid any taxes. Why didn't he release his tax returns?”

 .
On Thursday morning, Reid said that a nominee for a Cabinet position couldn't get confirmed by the Senate if he made as limited a release of tax information as Romney has thus far.

 .
"Let him prove that he has paid taxes, because he hasn't," Reid declared, then adding that “Mitt Romney makes more money in a single day than the average middle-class family makes in two years or more."
 .

 "Okay kids, go for it," commands a slightly-muffled (still chewing) voice from somewhere behind the PC monitor glowing in the darkened room.
 .

 .
Tracy raises her hand and says that she heard that, "Harry Reid is a part-time owner and full-time customer of the World Famous Chicken Ranch Brothel.  Here he is seen 'making Googly eyes' at Vanessa WunderBottom - a well-known German prostitute revered for her uncanny ability of being able to pick up a TV remote and depressing the selector keys to access the local Cable Channel for CNN...  While never using her fingers. 
 .
She is the woman who encouraged Harry to begin parting his hair on the left (see prior image above) because, as she said, "My little Harry - everything about him is a little to the Left...  And I mean EVERYTHING."
 .
"I know that it's true because I heard someone talking about it on the downtown bus," she adds...
 .     





 .
Billy says, "I heard that Harry Reid beats his wife 'a lot'.  Then he photo-shops his head onto a much more 'manly body' so he can feel better about the quality of the beating.  You know, because he's not REALLY so tough. 
 .
When asked for a comment, Reid said, "If I want to beat my wife, that's up to me see, and if you don't like it, I can put my head on a freakin' Godzilla or something and really scare you big time!  If that doesn't work, I'll put my big ol' gourd on top of Nancy Pelosi's body - that'll scare the bejeezus out of you!  
 .
Oh wait, I've already put my head on Nancy, and um, - strike that..."  
 .
Billy finishes by saying that "It must be true, because I just read it right here, on the Internet."
 .



 

 .
Jimmy states the following about Harry Reid, "My staff has always said, 'Don't say this,' but I'm going to say it again because it's so descriptive because it's true," Reid said.
 .

He referenced House Minority Leader John Boehner's comments about the long lines of tourists that stream into the Capitol complex, and said: "In the summertime, because (of) the high humidity and how hot it gets here, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol." 
 .


"Oops, sorry kids, this last one actually happened.  So let's call it a day, I'm hungry and I need to find a couple of milk shakes to wash these cookies down."
 .
"Did you save any cookies for us?" asks Jimmy.
 .
"No Jimmy, the cookies are for me.  As a matter of fact, I just polished off Tracy's cookies while she was writing her Reiding FunDuhMental comments above.  Instead, I'm taking all of you to Chick Fil-A; I hear there are many interesting 'things' to see there today..."
 .
"Yay, we love Chick Fil-A Mr. Moos!!!  You're the absolute best!!!"   
 .
"It goes without saying kids - but thanks for saying it all the same..." He says as he holds the door open for the kids leaving the classroom.
 .
 "Mr. Moos, will there be 'haters' over at the Chick Fil-A?" Tracy asks.
 .
"Not from our side kidd-o.  Not from our side.  We like everybody - even when we're making stuff up about them.  We do it to be funny, not to destroy anyone.  There is a difference."  
 .


 .

Let us all have a moment of silence for the soon-to-be-late-lame Harry Reid as we watch him open up to the nice woman from CNN and admitting something that we all knew a few years ago already.
 .
Um, you may want to open a second beverage prior to viewing. 
 .
Trust me...
 .

"Romney didn't win, did he?"  
 .
Mr. Reid, you are one miserable POS.
  .
Have a nice day folks...
 .

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Why Don't White Girls Rock?

.
NEWARK, N.J. (AP), March 28, 2015 — First Lady Michelle Obama celebrated the beauty, power and tenacity of black women while spreading her own message of education for girls at Black Girls Rock!, an annual event honoring trailblazing women of color from all walks of life.
.
"No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, you are beautiful," Obama told the crowd, which included many young black girls.
.
"I am so proud of you. My husband, your president, is so proud of you," she added. "We have so much hope and dreams for you."

.
...
.
Obama acknowledged as much in her speech to celebrate three young honorees.
.
"I know there are voices that you are not good enough," she said, acknowledging that she often lacked self-confidence growing up despite encouraging parents.
.


"Each of those doubts was like a test," she said, "that I either shrink away from or rise to meet.  And I decided to rise."
. 
Obama, who recently completed a trip to Japan and Cambodia as part of her worldwide push for better educational opportunities for girls, lauded the young honorees for excelling in their studies.
.  
"There is nothing more important than being serious about your education," the Ivy League-educated Obama said. "That's why I am able to stand here tonight. ... I want every one of our black girls do to the same, and our black boys."
.
...
.

 
Well, okay, I'm probably going to get yelled at for even talking about this, but it's not like it's the FIRST time I'm going to get yelled at...
.

OBVIOUS QUESTION #1:  Would anyone take issue with Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton, or Nancy Reagan going on WET (White Entertainment Television) and uttering the following comments into a microphone?

.

"I am so proud of you.   My husband, your president, is so proud of you.  We have so much hope and dreams for you.  There is nothing more important than being serious about your education.   That's why I am able to stand here tonight.  

.
I want every one of our white girls do to the same, and our white boys.  
.

White girls rock!"
.


.

OBVIOUS QUESTION #2:  Mrs. Obama's statements found above 'imply' that she and her husband have actually done SOMETHING intended to make life better for black youths in America.  Mrs. Obama and Mr. Obama are proud of black girls (who, as you already know, ROCK!) in America.  So, after six years of an Obama Administration and Democratic majority leadership in Congress for a bunch of them, how are blacks 16-19 years of age actually DOING in America when compared to white youths (who, presumably, do NOT rock!)?
.

                                             02/2014    02/2015
White unemployment 16 - 19 both sexes:     18.4%                15%
.

Black unemployment 16 - 19 both sexes:       32.8%                30% 
.

Over the past 12 months white unemployment has fallen (slightly) by 19% while black unemployment has plummeted by...    
 .
Nearly 9%!
.
SOURCE:  Bureau of Labor Statistics, Table A-2

I guess that having 'hopes and dreams' for black young people does not translate into an improved life for black young people?  But keep those hopes and dreams coming kids!

NOTE:  For anyone interested in stray facts, youth unemployment for whites in 2007 was 9.3%.  Unemployment for blacks was 20.7% under George W. Bush.  Four years AFTER the official end of the Great Recession both black and white youth unemployment remains roughly 50% higher for both races than at the beginning of the 'GR'...    




OBVIOUS QUESTION #3:  From the article quoted above, "Obama, who recently completed a trip to Japan and Cambodia as part of her worldwide push for better educational opportunities for girls, lauded the young honorees for excelling in their studies."  

Given the disparity between black and white youth unemployment here in the United States of America, shouldn't FLOTUS be pushing for better educational opportunities and jobs for youths here in America?  After all, these kids are going to have to pay for her world-wide travel expenses. And, they had better dang-well get educated so they can get a job and retire their portion of the $59,746 that EACH American owes towards the National Debt of $18+ TRILLION (the majority of which has been added by this President).


In the end it all boils down to the same thing.  This President, the last President, or any President for that matter, is the leader of America.  He / she is NOT the leader of White-Americans, African-Americans, Asian-Americans, or even Illegal-Americans - he / she is the leader of America.  Drop the dang hyphen please, after decades of it, it's beginning to tick me off.
.
A day after hearing about the upcoming BET (April 5th - I'll be there!) special I remain 'kind of surprised' by Michelle Obama's quote about wanting every black girl and black boy to 'do well'.  Why can't she say that she wants all children to succeed?  Do only blacks watch shows on BET?  Why do the Obamas always return to the well to remind us that they are (mostly) non-white?  

I understand that 93% of blacks voted for the President in the 2012 election, but is / was this support based upon the President's character, or solely based upon the color of his skin?  
.  
But I'm thinking that whites voted for this President also, so, you know, where's the love for people of a lesser-color?  If I'm being totally honest with you, I'm not exactly white.  I'm thinking that Ghosts might actually be white, or perhaps even shades of misty gray.  But I'm thinking that I'm more of a 'pale-peachy color' guy who sometimes gets a bit 'peachier blush' when I see / read articles about leaders (and their spouses) who constantly point out the differences between us, rather than focusing on the similarities between all of us.
.
I am an American.  And yes, like a lot of other Americans, I am just peachy.

Thanks for noticing me.   

Sunday, March 29, 2015

On Top of Old Everest, All Covered in Pooh...

.
"On top of old Everest, 
all covered in pooh,
I lost my own Sherpa, 
when he fell into goo...
.
On top of old Everest,
I went there to boast,
One wrong step backwards,
My guide? Now he's a ghost "
 (Apologies to Burl Ives, and to the Boy Scouts of America)

.
Do you ever want to get away?  You know, do you ever want go somewhere that few others will ever see and experience the majesty which is Gaia, our Mother, our Planet, this planet - Earth???  Well, good for you!!!  I hope you have a great trip, and remember to send me souvenirs because, well, I'm not going with you.  
.
I've already been to New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Washington (D.C.), AND Florida, seriously, how much more of the Earth is left to be seen?  And, listening to all these Global Climate Change folks speak about the impact of MAN on the Earth, I'm thinking that the Earth can't be much larger than the size of Texas, right?  Otherwise, how can we have such a detrimental effect on the planet?  I mean, people are so very small, and Texas is like, um, really freaking HUGE.  Writing about it here, I hereby decree that we are all Texans, and between you and me, I want my hat, boots, and guns.  Please, no horse, as I am more partial to cows.  Thank you.  
 .
Now, we re-join our post, already in progress...
 .
An unknown climber relieves himself while admiring Mount Everest
.

KATHMANDU, Nepal (AP) — Human waste left by climbers on Mount Everest has become a problem that is causing pollution and threatening to spread disease on the world’s highest peak, the chief of Nepal’s mountaineering association said Tuesday.
.
The more than 700 climbers and guides who spend nearly two months on Everest’s slopes each climbing season leave large amounts of feces and urine, and the issue has not been addressed, Ang Tshering told reporters. He said Nepal’s government needs to get the climbers to dispose of the waste properly so the mountain remains pristine.
.
Hundreds of foreign climbers attempt to scale Everest during Nepal’s mountaineering season, which began this week and runs through May. Last year’s season was canceled after 16 local guides were killed in an avalanche in April.
.
Climbers spend weeks acclimatizing around the four camps set up between the base camp at 5,300 meters (17,380 feet) and the 8,850-meter-high (29,035-foot-high) summit. The camps have tents and some essential equipment and supplies, but do not have toilets.
.
“Climbers usually dig holes in the snow for their toilet use and leave the human waste there,” Tshering said, adding that the waste has been “piling up” for years around the four camps.
.
At the base camp, where there are more porters, cooks and support staff during the climbing season, there are toilet tents with drums to store the waste. Once filled, the drums are carried to a lower area, where the waste is properly disposed.
.
Dawa Steven Sherpa, who has been leading Everest cleanup expeditions since 2008, said some climbers carry disposable travel toilet bags to use in the higher camps.
.
“It is a health hazard and the issue needs to be addressed,” he said.
.
Nepal’s government has not come up with a plan yet to tackle the issue of human waste. But starting this season, officials stationed at the base camp will strictly monitor garbage on the mountain, said Puspa Raj Katuwal, the head of the government’s Mountaineering Department.

.
The government imposed new rules last year requiring each climber to bring down to the base camp 8 kilograms (18 pounds) of trash — the amount it estimates a climber discards along the route.
.

 .
Two questions at this point:

  1. Shouldn't the government of Nepal require that climbers bring down MORE trash (feel free to use the words 'Poopsicles' and 'Frozen Whiz' here) than they discard along the route?  How else will they be able to reduce the amount of waste resting comfortably in the frozen ravines up there?  If they EXPECT you to generate 18 pounds of waste / trash, you'd better be hauling about 22 pounds back down with you, you know, since you really love the planet / want to experience the grandeur of nature and all...
  2. Why would anyone WANT to go to Mount Everest?  Sure, the photos are PRETTY, but given the option of eating BBQ Beef Brisket while watching a wild West show (since we're all in Texas now) versus getting Freezer Burn on your Winkie while relieving yourself on the side of a frozen mountainside with a -47 degree windchill?  I'm thinking, um, NO.  Sign me up for the BBQ, and now that I live in Texas, I still want my boots, hat, and guns, please...
.
Parting thoughts:
.
Okay, so you got that?  You rich, private-jet-flying, money-to-burn, and having-not-enough-personal-survival-instinct-to-stay-at-home World-Class travelers planning on going to Mount Everest - you'd better plan on taking your crap with you when you leave.  Both figuratively and literally.  
.
And if you're one of those Richest 1% of Vegans who only eat green leafy veggies, sprouts, something called Quinoa, and tree-bark chip bars, you'd better plan on carrying some of your buddy's crap down too, because your 'leavings' are much lighter than the rest of our 'meat-eater' diets are.  And if you DON'T, the government of Nepal is going to fine you for not having enough crap of your own.   
.
You want to know who your REAL friends are?  Just ask them to carry your personal 'discharges' in freezing-cold-weakened Ziplock bags down a mountainside in their backpack surrounded by their best Eddie Bauer outerwear.
.
Yes, World Traveler, you KNOW who your true friends are...  
.
They are the people who tell you to go to TEXAS or FLORIDA on vacation, NOT to travel across the planet to the side of a ice-jacketed mountain of snow and rock littered with the 'droppings' of thousands of other morons who just had to 'go' there because it's 'there'.
.
I am your friend.  Listen to ME, and trust only ME.  Now go grab a corned beef sandwich or something substantial and turn off your computer or mobile device, we've got work to do.  I hear John Kerry is negotiating with Iran just in time for Congress to go home for a few weeks, and it looks like we'll have a whole lot of crap to deal with HERE and in Iran for the next few decades.  
.
Thanks President Obama, as if there's not enough crap on Everest, we get to carry the 'droppings' of your administration's crap with us forever right here at home - thanks so much for that.      
.
I have THIS much of a clue as to what I am doing in these negotiations...