Monday, September 29, 2014

Mother Michelle Speaks to Her / Our Children


WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Michelle Obama took to the airwaves Friday in a Channel One interview beamed into thousands of school classrooms to an estimated 5 million students across America.
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According to a transcript provided on the Channel One website, Obama said, “I know kids are grumbling because they have to make changes. Trust me, my kids roll their eyes at me every time I tell them ‘you know you don’t have to finish your diner, but you have to finish your vegetables.’ But I know that I’m doing it because I’m giving my kids the best that I know I can give them.”

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The First Lady made it clear she’s not backing down: “Don’t be mad because there are changes. Figure out why the changes are important, and then find out how you make it work for you.” 
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You know, my kids like broccoli, celery, carrots – those kind of vegetables that have a little flavor, sweetness to it. And I would encourage kids to go over to those salad bars and just try a mixture of things, because sometimes if you mix a bunch of things up and you chop it up, the whole combination sounds pretty good.
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In fact, the Channel One anchor, Maggie Rulli, pointed student viewers to her blog, where they would see some “first-lady-inspired lunches.”
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“Look, I wouldn’t want to eat a nasty lunch either. Quite frankly, no one wants to eat bad food,” Obama said in the interview.
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Sure, I know that there are more pressing issues facing the Nation today, but could we please spend a moment; one solitary moment, speaking on behalf of the children?  
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  • The children who are looking CHOICE.  
  • The children who are looking for FREEDOM.  
  • The children who are looking for a Hot Dog, Macaroni and Cheese, a dollop of Apple Sauce, and a pint of Chocolate Milk.
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We learned a few weeks ago that school fundraising efforts are being monitored by alert State employees intent on adhering to stringent FLOTUS guidelines regarding the type and number of 'unhealthy choices' bake sales a school can have.  
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Sure, the elimination of bake sales, cookie sales, and spaghetti dinners will put additional financial burdens on schools trying to figure out how to fund new uniforms for the Football Team, the Golf Squad, the field hockey team, and the High School Marching Band, but given that the kids will be too weak and frail to participate in athletics, or to carry instruments in musical programs - they won't need those new uniforms after all!  
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Turn that frown upside down!!!
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Hey kid, knock it off, you're bumming me out...

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So, how are students around the country responding to the new, healthy alternatives inflicted upon them by the un-elected spouse of the President of the United States?
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BREITBART.COM:   Michelle Obama's School Lunch Program: $4 Million of Food Thrown in Trash Each Day.
"We don't want to have the most nutritious waste basket in the state or the country."
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An investigative report by a Cincinnati TV station finds that the government's new school lunch requirements championed by First Lady Michelle Obama are wasting $4 million a day in discarded food that children won't eat.
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The National School Lunch Program feeds upwards to 31 million American students a day, spending nearly $12 billion annually, but many of those children are throwing away the vegetables, fruits, and snacks forced on them by the new federal nutrition standards.
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A new Harvard study of the program, WCPO Channel 9 reported, "shows that 60 percent of fresh vegetables and 40 percent of fresh fruit are being thrown away."
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"And a recent study released by the National School Nutrition Association found 81.2 percent of schools surveyed indicated an increase in the amount of food being thrown away by students since the new nutrition standards went into effect two years ago," the televised report continued.
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Nearly 600 school districts have already dropped out of the First Lady's lunch program, Fort Thomas Independent Schools in Northern Kentucky being one of them.
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Fort Thomas School Superintendent Gene Kirchner pointed out that if the program is resulting in so much waste, then it is not very effective. "I have to think that across the country, it has to be a staggering amount of food going to waste, and I think there are people out there who could really use that food," he said.
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In fact, according to one government study, over one million kids across the country have stopped eating lunch altogether after the new standards were imposed on their schools.


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Welcome to the Obama's Fundamentally-Transformed America - yeah, it's how we roll...

Without the butter.
 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

It's Official: Barack Obama is Black

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I awoke this morning at 4:02.  For a change, it is not the whine of my wife's CPAP machine or the Darth Vader quality of her early morning breathing which wakes me up - but rather, it is something else all together.  Coming fully awake from my Unisom Sleeptab induced doze I realize that there has been a massive disturbance in the Force, and I, like the good Jedi I am, know that I can not long resist investigating the origin of this cosmic shift.
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I feed my little rescue dog, Sandy, and then I perch myself in front of my aging HP laptop at the dining room table to begin my search for the disturbance which has me awake, alert, and uneasy 90 minutes prior to my normal morning wake-up routine.  It takes mere minutes to discover the source of my internal alarm - Michael Moore, 'progressive documentary filmmaker', has uttered a few of the words aloud stating that the President?  Yeah, he's a Black guy...
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Michael Moore Slams Obama: HIstory Will Only Remember You Were a Black President
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"When the history is written of this era, this is how you'll be remembered: he was the first black president," Moore said during a discussion at The Hollywood Reporter's video lounge at the Toronto Film Festival. 

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"OK, not a bad accomplishment, but that's it," the director said. "That's it, Mr. Obama. 100 years from now, 'he was the first black American that got elected president' and that's it. Eight years of your life and that's what people are going to remember. Boy, I got a feeling, knowing you, that -- you'd probably wish you were remembered for a few other things, a few other things you could've done."


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"So, it is, on that level, a big disappointment," Moore said. 


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The documentary filmmaker appeared at the Toronto festival for a screening of his acclaimed title Roger and Me, which is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year. The film, centered on then GM CEO Roger Smith, kickstarted Moore's career in creating controversial political documentaries, including Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11 and Capitalism: A Love Story.

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Go ahead, let these 'scathing comments' being reported online by Moore sink in for a moment, and then we'll get back to reality...
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Okay, no Jedi mind-tricks here, let's just talk about what he actually says - what he gets right, and what he fails to see.  (HINT:  Michael Moore is an Wookie-sized idiot, so he's almost always going to get it 'wrong')
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First, he says that President Obama will be remembered as the Nation's first 'Black President' - however, according to Toni Morrison, writing in the New Yorker Magazine (back in October, 1998), our SECOND Black President.  
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Our FIRST Black President, is now, and forever will be... William Jefferson Clinton. 
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Second, and this probably ought to be First (but I thought going back to President Clinton's 'Blackness' was funnier), Moore speculates that Barack Obama will ONLY be remembered for the color of his skin.  I disagree.  
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The economic, political, and cultural wake left behind by this President will have an impact on America for hundreds of years to come.  We will be paying the price for Barack Obama's 'legislative and policy accomplishments' through generations of children yet unborn.  
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Our Economy continues to wander listlessly more than four years after the official end of the 'Great Recession',  our World Power status has been diminished as this President 'Leads from behind' on every international issue which arises during his Presidency, and lastly, with expanded welfare roles / doubling of disability claims / and the implementation of ObamaCare, we are raising a generation of kids and teenagers who see 'Federal Assistance' as their parents most trusted 'financial 'partner'.  In the end, this leaves many of them completely unaware of what financial independence actually is. 
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The American Dream is on life support and President Obama holds a plug in one hand while in the other he holds a soft white pillow above the patient's slackened face.
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Oh no, Mr. Moore, President Obama will not be remembered as the 'First Black President', instead, he will be remembered as the Imperial Emperor who built the first operational Death Star, capable of destroying Nations, Hope, and an entire planet's sense of Security.  His genetic 'blackness' will be of no consequence when compared to the other marks he has left upon the Nation.   
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As generations of kids look at the America which he / we have bequeathed to them I only hope that one day they will ask, "Why did you let it happen while the Nation was in your care?"  Because if they do not ask, they will not even realize what they have lost.
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Third, On a lighter note (and by way of a helpful suggestion!) I would like to nominate Michael Moore to play 'Jabba the Hut' in the newest Star Wars film for two reasons:  First, it will keep him from uttering sound bites like the one above to get attention for work he did TWENTY-FIVE years ago, and second, it seems like the perfect role for him.  

I really think he can pull it off...
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See?

Plus, with this outfit on, he actually appears thinner than he appears in real life.  BONUS!
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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Car Wars


C3-PO:  "Where are you going, you annoying little Droid?"

R2-D2:  "Ploop, whistle, pfffrrrattttt....."

C3-PO:  "What do you mean we mean we have to get Back to the Future?  And why are you melding Movie Storylines?"

R2-D2:  "Bbrrrraaff, spliff, doink, vrooom, vroooom!"

C3-PO:  "Why would anyone do that?"

R2-D2:   "Whistle, splazmatt, quinona!" 

C3-PO:  "Because the Emperor is making them?  There is NO Emperor in America you non-sensical pile of bolts!  You have lost whatever lone clue you once had.  You need your drive reformatted."

R2-D2:  "Brazt, prrat, zzzzzzzzzz, Brack Hooozain Zobama!"

C3-PO:  "Oh, him?  I'm sorry, you're probably right...  There's always an Emperor somewhere, and we're all out of Jedi Knights."

The two Droids release an electronic sigh, turn towards the east and begin their long walk home in silence.
 




Associated Press 3:59 p.m. EDT August 18, 2014U.S. moving to require cars to talk to each other
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WASHINGTON — The Obama administration said Monday it is taking a first step toward requiring that future cars and light trucks be equipped with technology that enables them to warn each other of potential danger in time to avoid collisions.




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The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said it will begin drafting rules to require the technology in all new vehicles.

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The technology uses a radio signal to continually transmit a vehicle's position, heading, speed and other information. Similarly equipped cars and trucks would receive the same information, and their computers would alert drivers to an impending collision.

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A car would "see" when another car or truck equipped with the same technology was about to run a red light, even if that vehicle were hidden around a corner. A car would also know when a car several vehicles ahead in a line of traffic had made a sudden stop and alert the driver even before the brake lights of the vehicle directly in front illuminate. The technology works up to about 300 yards (275 meters) away.


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If communities choose to invest in the technology, roadways and traffic lights also could start talking to cars, as well, sending warnings of traffic congestion or road hazards ahead in time for drivers to take a detour.


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Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx called the vehicle-to-vehicle technology "the next great advance in saving lives."


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"This technology could move us from helping people survive crashes to helping them avoid crashes altogether — saving lives, saving money and even saving fuel thanks to the widespread benefits it offers," Foxx said.




Light Saber Optional, not all drivers will qualify, see dealer for details

In 2011, the average cost of a new car sold in America was $28,400.

In 2014, this cost figure rose to $31,252.  Why?  Higher labor costs, higher materials cost, and, you guessed it, Federal Regulations.  Back-up cameras, optional in some vehicles today, will be required in 'most' vehicles for Model Year 2018.  How do you define 'Most' vehicles, I have NO Earthly idea, but rest assured, your car will be required to have it whether you like it or not.  And yes, you'll be paying several hundred dollars more for it than you are paying today.
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In 2014, the NHTSA, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, wants, no it N-E-E-D-S you to have your own 'R2-D2' on board to assist you in...
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Not killing yourself.  Presumably because you and I are 'Too Stupid to Live.'

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And, BONUS! What better to implement the much discussed 'Mileage Tax' than to provide a little black (please be aware that this is NOT a racially-charged descriptor) GPS which will tell anyone listing (and oh yes, they will be listening, once again, for your own good) where you have been, how long you have been there, and how far you've driven.


Agencies of the Federal Government continue their overreach into our daily lives because 'it's what they do'.  And in the years since 2008, they do it better than they ever have done it before.

Do you want the Federal Government to have a box in your car which controls 'all aspects' of your vehicle's basic operation?  You know, goofy things like braking, engine starting (maybe yes, maybe no), lights on / off control, and continuous tracking of your every auto-related movement in America?  Well, just keep sending the guys who are IN Washington BACK to Washington.  They don't seem to have a problem with someone else being your driving 'partner' in the future - especially if that partner is a Federally-mandated Black Box in your personal vehicle.

As for me, gosh golly, I kind of DO have a problem with it.


But hey, that's just me...  

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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Hot Deep and Wet

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Scientist #1:  "Bob, about Global Warming, any idea why it's petered out?  Any theories on why the Earth's temperature isn't rising, you know, like we said it must?"
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Scientist #2:  "Um, yeah, about that..."
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Scientist #3:  "Given the complexity of the interpretation of the data and the dynamically changing weather metrics of the past century, the best theory we have at this point is that based upon current evidence from the extrapolation of best known scientific processes would seem to indicate that...  Oh shoot, I don't know."
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Scientist #4:  "Can't we just say that the ocean 'ate our heat'?  You know, like when I used to tell my Third Grade science teacher that my dog ate my homework?"
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Scientist #5:  "Sure, why not?"
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All Scientists in the conference hall:  "So say we one, so say we all!"  
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Scientist #1:  Hey, who wants to go out for Baked Alaska?!?!?"  
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The conference hall empties...
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Yes, a new generation of Global Warming / Climate Change theorists are literally bending over backwards (see illustration above) to figure out who 'took their heat'.  For the record, it wasn't me, although the woman in the photo above, well, I guess she IS kind of 'hot'...  But, I digress. .  
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After decades of predicting increased temperatures across the planet, polar ice melt, and 'really great farming at 'the Earth's Poles', the scientific community has yet another theory to spring on you (and they hope you like this one much better than all the other ones they've given you since the 1970's because THIS one buys them more time for something 'climate changey' to happen and YOU can't prove them wrong - unless you can dive really, really deep into the ocean with a thermometer clenched in your teeth.)
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Come one, come all, as you are invited to hear the latest theory on Global Climate change, and where it went!
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... 
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Has Earth's Missing Heat Been Found?
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In 1999, the feverish rise in Earth's surface temperatures suddenly slowed, even as greenhouse gas emissions escalated. This unexpected slowdown has been called a global warming hiatus or global warming pause. Most climate scientists don't think this hiatus means global warming went kaput, but the reason (or reasons) for the slowdown has scientists flummoxed. Researchers have offered more than two dozen ideas to explain the missing heat. 
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Now, a study published today (Aug. 21) in the journal Science suggests a natural climate cycle in the North Atlantic Ocean gobbled Earth's extra heat. While the study is unlikely to settle the scientific debate, it does support the idea that Earth's global warming continues in the ocean, even when air temperatures stay flat. 
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Scientists have blamed the oceans for the global warming pause before, but they pointed their fingers at the Pacific, not the Atlantic. However, in seeking to test this idea with temperature data, oceanographer Xianyao Chen, of the Ocean University of China in Qingdao, and Tung, an atmospheric scientist, said they couldn't find the missing heat in Pacific Ocean temperature measurements.
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Tung and Chen then searched ocean by ocean until they hit on the North Atlantic, where the heat was playing hooky.  
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Yes, you read the last line above correctly - the author of this article on 'missing' Global Climate Change states that "The heat was playing hooky" in the Atlantic Ocean.  It was over in the Pacific Ocean for a while but now this very same Global Climate Change Heat has moved from West to East and it's 'over here' now, vacationing where President Obama prefers to golf (pretty much anywhere on the East Coast whereupon he can drop his ball).  
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Perhaps that rascally old Global Climate Change Heat knew that the neighborhood was getting 'bad' on the West Coast with all those illegal aliens coming across the border and he moved because he knew that his Pacific neighborhood was going down hill?  What else MIGHT explain it? 
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Someone needs to tell GCCH (Global Climate Change Heat) that the illegal aliens are pretty much everywhere in the U.S. so maybe he should consider a quick slosh further to the East and get himself into the Indian Ocean?  I mean, if you're a 'go wherever you want to go around the world' kind-of-heat like our friend GCCH, why wouldn't you want to travel to nice places like the Arabian Sea, Bay of Bengal, Flores Sea, Great Australian Bight, Gulf of Aden, and / or the Gulf of Oman?  These seem like very exotic and wonderful places, and since GCCH likes to travel (deep below water where non-scientist-types can't find him), sure, why wouldn't he want to get out and stretch his underwater legs once again?
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So the next time you wonder "Hey, what ever happened to that Global Climate Change thing" which you heard about for YEARS, don't look to the sky for the answer, rather, walk into your bathroom and flush your toilet once or twice to send a cooling drink of chlorinated (and fluoridated) water to our friend GCCH.  
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Why?  Because he's hot and needs a drink.  And you'll be doing your part to SAVE the EARTH.
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Thank you for flushing!
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Oh, and before you get all uppity thinking that flushing the toilet is all you need to do to FIX the problem of Global Climate Change just think about THIS...  According to these Baked Alaska eating scientists - Global Climate Change is merely in a state of 'Pause', at any moment it can LEAP back into existence and destroy your world!
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Yeah, so THERE...  
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Have a nice weekend (while you still can)
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[Evil laugh]
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