Thursday, April 28, 2011

Meet Arianna - Your Travel Consultant

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Dear Arianna,

I am recently planning vacation with you.  It will be good trip to good place.  Many people have gone this place.  Some have returned with hair.  Yes, this would be good trip for you, I think. 

You care about Earth much more than most other Greek-American Millionaires.  You are good person I think.  I book tickets with you now - no?

Your friend,

Ivan Ivanovich Gore-ivich


Leave it to the MoosRoom blog to find your BEST TRAVEL IDEAS for this non-Easter-related vacation!!!

Tired of the same old vacation spots?!?!


Seriously, how often can you go to:

PARIS?

MONACCO?

HOLLYWOOD?

HOLLAND?

DETROIT???


Let 2010 be the last year you settle for the 'Typical Vacation' experience!

Why?!?!

According to an article I found on
TheHuffingtonPost, there's word of a new HOT travel destination for that special 'hip and happening' enviromental activist in your life! 

Where is it???


Chernobyl !!!
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Yes, the Huffington Post is proud to announce that the Ukrainian Government is considering giving tours of the Chernobyl site to... 


Environmentalist Tourists!

From the article I found online at Arianna's place: 

KIEV, Ukraine — Want a better understanding of the world's worst nuclear disaster? Come tour the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. Beginning next year, Ukraine plans to open up the sealed zone around the Chernobyl reactor to visitors who wish to learn more about the tragedy that occurred nearly a quarter of a century ago, the Emergency Situations Ministry said Monday.
...

Emergency Situations Ministry spokeswoman Yulia Yershova said experts are developing travel routes that will be both medically safe and informative for Ukrainians as well as foreign visitors. She did not give an exact date when the tours were expected to begin.
"There are things to see there if one follows the official route and doesn't stray away from the group," Yershova told The Associated Press. "Though it is a very sad story."  [MOOS NOTE:  Yeah, I would think that 'straying from the group' in an area irradiated by Chernobyl Reactor #4's fallout MIGHT possibly be an incredibly bad idea!  Nonetheless, thanks for saying it out loud Yulia, but I think we knew this already...]...


The United Nations Development Program chief Helen Clark toured the Chernobyl plant together with Baloha on Sunday and said she supported the plan because it could help raise money and tell an important lesson about nuclear safety.
"Personally I think there is an opportunity to tell a story here and of course the process of telling a story, even a sad story, is something that is positive in economic terms and positive in conveying very important messages," said Clark, according to her office.  [MOOS NOTE:  No mention as to whether or not Helen Clark was 'glowing' at the time of the interview, although overhead lighting fixtures did assume an unusual greenish-tint and metallic-buzz whenever she walked beneath them]

The ministry also said Monday it hopes to finish building a new safer shell for the exploded reactor by 2015. The new shelter will cover the original iron-and-concrete structure hastily built over the reactor that has been leaking radiation, cracking and threatening to collapse.

Okay, the REAL reason(s) for the tours:

1.  Today there are 'illegal tours' taking place in the area and the Ukrainian government isn't getting any financial 'love' from the illegal tour guides - they want "In".  Yes, Capitalism has 'seeped' into Soviet Air Space - at the government level.  Who'd have thunk it?

2.  The original 'shell' covering the radioactive 'guts' at the site is 'leaking radiation and cracking'.  I think that a 'new safer shell' would probably be a good idea.  Oh, and the part about selling tickets to Liberal-Progressive-Environmental folks to tour the site is...  GENIUS!  Come to think of it, I may just hold a fund-raiser to pay for a lot of their tickets to GO...

3.  The UN wants to promote the tours to show how EVIL Nuclear Power is.  Apparently the UN building in Manhattan is powered by nothing other than Unicorn Tears since I know that members of the UN would not want Nuclear, Coal, or Oil-based power plants supplying their electrical power for their portable refrigerators and iPads.  All energy is bad - until you need it for your UN-provided Mr. Coffee coffee maker...

So, how do we wrap things up today?  Well, if YOU'RE considering traveling to the Ukraine for a tour of Chernobyl, I'd like you to meet your new THEME SONG (for the rest of your shorter-than-expected life): 




BONUS!  If you can't afford to make the trip yourself, feel free to picture yourself in the following photos!!!
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This is the main entrance to the Chernobyl facility.  You stand in the foreground as Lenin stares (menacingly) over your right shoulder.blog post photo
Whoa, check out all the technology!  This is the control panel at Chernobyl Reactor #3.  This reactor 'went dark' at the end of 1999 - 13 years AFTER Reactor #4 melted down.  (Yes, you read this correctly - people continued to work within sight of Reactor #4 for THIRTEEN YEARS following the melt-down because the area needed power...)

[NOTE TO SELF:  Never work anywhere where the technology appears to have come from the set of
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000]blog post photo
Picture yourself in the Hot Seat as you 'twist dials' and watch 'blinking lights' do, um, whatever it is that they do.  All part of your Reactor 3 fantasy vacation at Chernobyl!blog post photo
Visit nearby Pripyat for all of your lodging, dining, and entertainment needs!  You'll be alone, of course, as the city has been abandoned since the melt-down of Reactor 4.  But parking is a BREEZE!!!blog post photo
As you close the door on your fantasy Chernobyl vacation remember to immediately shower and promptly burn any clothing your wore for today's visit. 

Why?  Because it's better to be naked and shivering in the Ukraine than it is to have lymph nodes the size of St. Bernards for the rest of your (now-much-shorter) life.

I'd like to thank the Huffington Post for giving me something to write about today.  I can only imagine what it'll have for us tomorrow!?!?  


Maybe something about President Obama's Birth Certificate again?  Those people seem to be obsessed by it.  Wonder why that is???

Heh, heh, heh... 
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