Tuesday, March 29, 2011

S.O.B. (Son of Badvertising)

Well, you knew it had to happen.  You knew I would go on the Internet and Google 'Funny Classified Ads' just to see if I could find MORE bad ads.  And what to my wondering eyes should appear?  More bad ads for you and me (dear). 

I compiled ads from many (many) sites and brought them here to our private 'happy place'.  I hope you enjoy looking at the following more than I did when I was culling through them on the Internet.  These are the 'G' and 'PG-rated' ones I found.  There were others, but they were just, what's the word...?  Oh, yeah, there were a lot that were just 'wrong'... 

Without further delay, I present to you, the SOB - "Son of Badvertising", more Classified Ads 'gone bad':

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I'm reminded of Charleton Heston's legendary quote before the NRA as he held a rifle over his head, "From my cold, dead hands." 

You take the porn away from this guy (gal?) and I'm not sure you want him (her?) with un-registered weapons.  Next time we read about this guy, he'll be up in a bell tower shouting obscenities down at the on-lookers (a.k.a.:  Targets) as he inserts another clip.   




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Somebody was eating cat food the night this ad was placed, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't the 'beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten'.  If I were Jennifer, I'd hold out for an additional $2,000 for her husband.  The guy's worth something, right?  Oh, come on, that's mean!



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Tina, you might want to get together with your crack (headed) advertising team on this one.  Showing rolls of toilet paper and claiming 'Flavors May Vary', well, that sort of boggles the mind. 

I would have thought that they were all 'paper-flavored'. 

Unless they're already...  Used?  Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!




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Okay, thanks for clearing that up for me!  I'll be right over...



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Yeah, I know it's NOT a classified ad, but if you lived in a town called, "Hell", you've got to get your yucks in when you can. 

So whatever you WERE waiting for, it's time, because "Hell" HAS frozen over.





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Guys all across the Northeast are nodding their heads at this exact moment.





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Luckily for them they don't need an Engrish Tudar too...





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"Honey, can we get a dog, just like the one in that Marley and Me book?  I think I found the one!  He knows lots of tricks, and he's ONLY $1,200!"





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"Looking for person who placed this ad.  Looks like a small intellect."





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Complete text:  "Lester, this is Dawn.  Please be assured that I will be getting married no matter what you or my dysfunctional sister have to say.  We might have to go to Canada or Mexico but we are getting married.  I get what I want and this is very important to me.  Lester, you have a few secrets of your own that you want to keep down low, so watch out."

You know, I can't think of a thing to add to this one except maybe, do you think she placed a separate ad to trade her (or maybe, Lester's) Playboy magazines for guns? 

Lester, not only should you keep things on the 'down low', but buddy, you WILL want to keep your head down in general.  You meet the nicest people at the Bowling Alley...




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Well, if you're going to have a party, it might as well be a Super Bowel Party (luckily there will be food to complete the ambience of the evening.  What's a bowel party without food?)! 

And on Tuesday, all Entres are 50% Off!  Only if you are OLD!



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Need class, any class would be nice.  If class not available, feel free to respond to this ad... 

This guy has pretty stringent requirements 'between 18 & 80'.  Man, what a dog.



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Finally, someone who says what they mean!  And means what they say!  Although it all sounds a little 'mean' to me...

May all your ads be properly type-set in 2012.

Moo,

Mike 

In 2012 help make the Moos of the Day blog your #1 place for Moos! 

We've got the competition licked! 

Don't believe me?  Click here to see for yourself! ->  Get along little doggie...

I KILL me.

See ya'!
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