Monday, March 14, 2011

Silent Death From Above



The MoosRoom blog is once again on the bleeding edge of technological innovation, bringing you news / moos you can use!  

News that can even...

Help save your LIFE!
  
I have just come across an article that is so frightening, so outrageous, I had to bring it to you here, tonight (this, after I just got through reviewing the 'colon cleansing' blog post for later in the week.  Come to think of it - these posts MAY be related after all...)


The people at Electric Aircraft Corporation have just introduced an Electric Plane.  Yes, a plane with a very long power cord...  


Oops, no, I just re-read the article, and it is actually powered by batteries.  The same type of batteries I have in this laptop which used to last two hours three years ago, but now expire faster than Taylor Hicks' post-American Idol singing career (roughly 27 minutes). 

It's being touted as a 'plug and fly' airplane with a total charge costing only 60 cents.  Less than a buck is a great deal for a thrill ride at Disney, but at Disney, the ride typically doesn't fall from the sky and KILL you.


Okay, maybe I'm putting a negative spin on this, but a little of the verbiage from the article concerns me, just a 'wee' bit.  Check it out to see what you think:  Plug and Fly 

Here are a couple of excerpts from the write-up for your consideration:

  • Once in the air, the ElectraFlyer C cruises at 70 miles per hour. Top speed is 90 mph and the stall speed is 45. The plane can fly for 90 to 120 minutes before the battery needs recharging. When the battery winds down, just plug it into a 110V outlet -- your house is full of them -- and you're good to go in just more than six hours.   (Moo's Note:  Okay, where do you find a power outlet at 5,000 feet?  And if you really want me to feel safe anywhere near this plane, don't ever tell me what the 'stall speed' is.  No one should ever have to find out.)


  • The motor is nearly silent, which means no earplugs for pilots, and brings the potential for flying into new sites. And then there's the a dramatic improvement in what the company calls "neighbor relations" -- no droning engines to drive them nuts. Electric motors don't produce a lot of soot or pollution, and overhauls are a snap.  (Moo's Note:  Yeah, the motor is nearly silent?  How do you know it's ON?  And please don't use the word 'SNAP' when you're discussing an electric motor overhaul, it just doesn't lend 'reliability' to the whole electric engine 'premise'.)
Here's a photo of the plane just so you know I'm not making this up:






My overall concern with this plane is the following:  It's an airplane!  

It has a battery with a finite life that is powering the electric engine.  If you have an electrical 'short' (like I had in a boat I owned once), you're not stuck bobbing freely on the St. Johns River on a Saturday afternoon.  Instead, you're plummeting out of the sky at 500+ MPH with a one-way 'E' ticket to the Almighty. 

And, if I'm being honest with you (I almost always am) my greatest fear is that even when it's running, this thing is quiet.  So quiet that it could land a block away from you and you would never hear it.  This is great if your home backs up to a runway, but imagine this, you're walking down the street one half mile from a runway and Pilot Bob charged the batteries for 5.8 hours instead of the recommended 6. 

You walk with your baby in a stroller with your beloved Golden Retriever at your side; your dog stops, begins to poop, and following this brief moment of colon cleansing you look up to see what's casting that ever-growing shadow over you, your baby, and your dog when suddenly:

SPLATT-O!  Silent Death From Above! 


So the next time you are walking your baby and your dog down your street in your quiet neighborhood 'where nothing weird ever happens', keep one eye on the sky, one eye on your baby, and one eye on your dog. 

If you can do this my friend, you are some kind of alien-mutant-monster for outer space and I'm hoping that electric plane lands right on your three-eyed fleshy melon of a head and pushes your brains all the way down to the suckers on the bottoms of those stalks you call feet. 


But if you have only two eyes, keep them wide open, and listen really, really hard.  Did you hear something?  

Yeah, it may have been nothing...  

Or maybe it's 600+ pounds of pilot and 'electric love'  hurtling down at you from the sky.  


If it IS an electric plane coming at you, you won't need to get those pesky 12 - 25 pounds out of your colon un-naturally. 

It'll just HAPPEN. 


Buzzzzzzzzzzz...

2 comments:

Grumpyelder said...

This was one of my all time Moos Favorites, It's also the one I used to introduce the Critic to your stuff..... wonder if he can read it himself yet

Mike's Moosroom said...

Grumpy, I'm pretty sure that I wrote this after taking a shooter of NyQuil one winter's night. Re-reading it again this morning, I'm thinking that this is most likely the case.

I remember that the Critic was pretty quick on the 'eye count' - There's a bright future for that boy. (Just as long as he stays far from runways, and in general, never leaves his home, rides in a car, never goes to Disney Tokyo, or, nah, never mind - let him be a kid while he can...)