Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sine...

I've stated in prior posts that I do enjoy the English (Engrish) language.  No matter how badly I mangle it here with my 'participles dangling', sentences 'run-on', and inconsistent 'verb tense' agreement throughout my posts, I DO enjoy the words themselves.  I also enjoy the messages which the words convey.  

English is the only language I have.  You dance with the one 'who brung you'.  The one who 'brung me' is goold old American English.  Like many folks in the U.S., I speak only my native tongue (this, according to President Obama makes me an un-educated person (since I'm not, plainly stated, 'European'.  Many Europeans speak several languages.  People in France speak French.  Canadians speak 'Molson',  Germans speak 'German', and many of them speak English as a 'second or third language'.  Good for them!   

Personally, I do not want to be like 'them'.  First, they 'talk funny' and second, many of them do not use deodorant.  Not that there's anything wrong with THAT... 

Any questions? 

No?  Good, let's keep going... 

I have warm spot in my heart for the language.  I cling to it as a drowning man clings to a life raft, except, of course, when the language goes BAD.  Now without further adieu (whoa, is that FRENCH?), I present to you with a few signs of our times. 

And times are (sometimes) bad. 

(The following is NO reflection on the Teachers' Union of course, nor is it an indictment of our educational system as a whole (I have already indicted the education system in prior posts).  I guess these sign folks could have been really bad in Spelling / English / Home Economics, etc.  You American Union Card Carrying teachers are the BEST!  These examples are obviously from people who were bad students.  Luckily for me, they ended up in the 'Sign' or 'Printing' businesses -- you must enjoy humor where you find it.)

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"You make me feel like a natural... stupid person"  Come on, sing along!


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We 'Bye' cars!  MOTTO:  "A stupid consumer is our BEST customer!"


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"Welcome to Crestwood"  Now get the heck out!  No Excetions!  So says Mayor Stranczek (does 'Stranczek' sound like a 'native' Crestwood name to you?  Hey Mayor McCheese why don't you buy a couple of vowels to make that name more American.  It sounds kind of 'Canadian' to me...)



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"Hillary will run Tommorrow, bet your bottom dollar that Tommorrow they'll be Hill..."  (It's  more like, 'There'll be 'Hill' to pay at the Clinton house if she doesn't get that 'Sec. of State' job)  To bad Applied Materials didn't apply themselves in 'Spelling' class...



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Seriously, WHAT can I say without getting in trouble?



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He was a great Presidnt.



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"Where America goes for its 'DINNING ROOM' furniture!" 



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Okay, so I never said that ALL Americans were geniuses... 

"Get Brain, you maroons...  And have him bring a spell-checker next time I draft up one of these here signs..."


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"I don't want a pickle, I just want to ride my..."



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Luckily, they fixed this sign before anyone noticed that at this place "Good friends party 'hardly'! "  Rock on badly baby, yeah!



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Why dyslexic giant rats should never hold goverment jobs...  They think everyone's 'breking the law'  ("Look for the Union Label..."  Check out the placards.  UAW - I say no more.)



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The poster for the 2010 'National Association of Teachers' Meeting



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The key to YOUR Sucses?  Stay in Shcool!



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How MANY times could YOU spell it incorrectly?  Note the multiple corrections in different sized markers...  (Please tell me this is not in a teacher's lounge somewhere...)



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Let's hear it for the 'Valley Newss' (recently overun by snakess)


Ah, I feel betterss.  Now I go to workss. 

See you folkss later!
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