How to Write a Blog... Part I - The Importance of Booze

Hi.  My name is Mike.  I have a blog...

Sometimes people find it.

Sometimes people read it. 


Sometimes they enjoy it. 

And other times...  (Well, if you've been here before, you know...)

I have been posting pretty regularly on my Moosroom site since the beginning of 2011.  The blog has been in existence for a couple of years, but it wasn't until this year that I decided to get serious about posting 'stuff' under my own...  'Brand'.  ('Brand', get it?  It's a 'cow' thing.) 

Oh, never mind - it's not funny when I feel the need to explain it.

Several things have happened over the past six months that I thought would be excellent reference material for folks thinking about creating a blog (that someone will actually 'find' and then, hopefully, 'read'). 

These are things to know in advance - rather than finding out by accident, like I did. 

Blog Rule #1:  Use the word 'Booze' early and often.  

Why?  Because there are a lot of people on the Internet using their browsers to search out, you guessed it...  'Booze'!  (I did not know this)

Here is a listing of the words which brought people to my blog, as well as the number of times the key word was searched for:

Yes, the word 'Booze' was searched 201 times

A couple of tips regarding using the word 'Booze' to drive traffic to your blog posts:

1. Include the word 'Booze' in the title of your entry
2. If the site you're blogging on allows you to enter either 'Tags' or 'Labels', be sure to enter the word, 'Booze' there as well.  Plainly stated, you can never have too much booze while you are blogging - you'll have to trust me on this.
3. If the word 'Booze' does not lend itself to the post topic, try substituting words such as the following:  "Cute Baby Kittens", "Funny Puppies", "Funny Dogs", or perhaps, even, "Stupid Humans"

Why?

Because there are 'Web-Crawlers' and 'Spiders' out there that spend their entire 'virtual lives' collecting data on website content.  There are many people (I'm ass-u-ming these are MOSTLY female) who love to look at things having to do with "Cute Baby Kittens" and "Funny Puppies / Dogs". 

As for the remaining 49% of the population, they're either looking up stuff having to do with "Stupid Humans" (takes one to know one) or anything online containing the word - "Booty". 

Yes, for some reason there are many men who like to search online for 'small childrens' shoes'. 

I don't know why.

By following the simple instructions above, you will be able to attract large, diverse audiences from across the GLOBE.  Consider the following 'actual' representation of traffic at the MoosRoom blog since the incorporation of the word, "Booze" into a single post several months ago. 

"When all else is equal - Booze makes the difference!" -  Mike Kane

See the impact that the word, 'Booze' made on my blog?  The only post (until today, of course) which included the word: "Booze" is now the run-away-hands-down-most-viewed entry on the site. 

The ironic thing is, it's not about "Booze", it's about my hearing loss due to Tinnitus.

SUCKERS!  (Oh, I meant, um, "Sorry"...  No, really.  I mean it.)

On Monday of this week there were 5,000 pageviews of this site.  As I type this on Thursday morning, there are something like 79,000!!! 

Hold on, I'd better re-check that - seems like a bit more than I would expect...

Okay, so the number is more like 5,360, but still, that's not bad, when you consider the first two years this blog was 'alive' it only had fewer than 700 views. 

The difference, of course is 'Booze'.

10 Years from now when someone asks me, "Mike, how did that blog get to be so popular (with other 8,000 total views!)?"

I can honestly answer, "It was the 'booze'."

And depending upon how well the "Cute Kittens" and "Funny Puppies" track in the search results in the body of this post as well as the associated post 'Labels', yeah, you'll see more of them as well.    

I guess content is important, but, in the scheme of things, does it really 'count'? 

We'll see!

p.s.:  No kittens, puppies, or bootys were injured in the generation of this post. 

p.p.s.:  'How to Write a Blog...  Part II - How to Alienate Friends and Family in 850 Words or Less' -- Coming soon to a site near you. 

Would You, Could You, With Barack???

The entire word list from 'Green Eggs and Ham'

I am Sam

I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am

Do you like
green eggs and ham

-- Dr. Seuss, "Green Eggs and Ham"

So here I sit. Awake, not exactly relaxed, and wondering why I'm no longer in bed. Okay, this last statement is 'not-exactly-true'.   

I'm up because my wife poked me this morning and she told me I was snoring.  Aw, come on!

How would I know if I was snoring or not? I WAS ASLEEP!!! (I normally do not snore when I am awake - at least so far as I know.)

Sooooo, in order to maintain 'Domestic Tranquility' I came downstairs to my trusty PC to see what I missed overnight. Luckily for me, while I snore (so says my wife) the World continues to spin.

It is with a fair amount of joy that following a visit to the nice folks over at IOWNTHEWORLD I announce to you today that...

YOU CAN ENTER TO WIN A DINNER WITH PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA AND JOE BIDEN!!!
(Sounds of clapping and miscellaneous adulation can be heard in the distance...)


Yes, imagine the fun you'd have sitting across from these two guys while being watched suspiciously by Secret Service Agents (with weapons)!

President Obama enjoys a healthy meal of
Fries and 'some sort' of sandwich!

Joe Biden says, "Never trust a man who
can't eat two cones at once!"

No, um, seriously, I'm NOT making this up.

If you don't believe me - would you believe HIM? Would you? Could you?



Yes, it's a great way for you to personally help raise money for the President Obama re-election campaign! For your chance to donate, oops, I mean for your chance to WIN a dinner with the President and Renfield (VP Biden) visit: www.barackobama.com/dinner

There are, however, specific, tedious rules you must follow in order to be eligible:

7. I am not a known Terrorist or associate of Jeremiah Wright

I made that last one up - sorry...

There is an actual rule Number 7, but it wouldn't fit into my screen shot, and with this Administration, who needs rules anyway!?!? Let's just make up our own rules as we go!

How do you know if you are on the OFFICIAL Win Dinner with Barack Obama site and your credit card donation is NOT actually going to some guy sweating in a Nigerian prison?

If it looks like this, you're in the right place!!!

You folks know how much I like to do 'Extensive Research' on my blog posts here - right? (Second lie of the morning, I'd better get more sleep.)

While looking for additional information to confirm that this thing, was in fact, not a SCAM set up by Newt Gingrich (the man's got to do something to get his name on that ballot - 'cause no one really believes he's actually running), I came across the following 'Hit' while "Googling" Barack Obama eat: www.barackobamaeatsbabies.com

Yes, on this website when you click on Sarah Palin, she tosses a baby into Barack Obama's mouth.

And here I thought I had way too much time on my hands...

So anyway, please be sure to register (and DONATE!) for your chance to eat (it'll be like watching a train wreck while you're ON the train) with the President and Vice President of the United States.

You'd better hurry though, because all entries / donations MUST be received by June 30, 2011!!!

Unfortunately Michelle Obama will not be at the meal. She'll be tending her 'Victory Garden' with a group of un-paid workers (a.k.a.: school-children). When these kids hook up with the AFL-CIO - that's not going to happen any more!

If you won, AND if she, Barack, and Joe were there together, you would have been officially 'Qualified' to be a:

"Tour Guide In Hell"

Yes, this man is a Tour Guide
in Hell (Cayman Islands)

Hmm, all things considered, it seems like a pretty good gig... I wonder what his taxes are? Free health care? Oh, never mind...

Remember, the contest ends in two days - send all your cash to President Obama (does this sound redundant to you too?) for your chance to win a meal with two of the most un-popular people in the history of the world (only speaking for myself, of course).

The other two Runner-Ups in the most un-popular people in the World competition don't actually eat so you can't win a meal with them.

They exist by sucking positive energy out of the people who surround them and exhaling chaos into Congress. I have heard, however, that Nancy Pelosi does love a nice tender baby duck every now and then as a snack. Live, of course.

Two 'Really Cheap' Dates

RIP Huey and Dewey Duck.

Huey and Dewey 2006 - 2007
111th Congress 'Entrees to the Speaker'

Louie still cries himself to sleep every night.

Oh, come on, I WASN'T SNORING! 

It was that dang duck crying next to the bed again.  It's not MY fault!!! 

Louie is pate'!!!

Homeland Insecurity

"This glove's for YOU!!!"

Remember the truly great Teams from the past?

• Bob Hope & Bing Crosby,
• Bud Abbott & Lou Costello,
• Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers,
• Roy Robers & Trigger,
• Dan Rowan & Dick Martin,
• Sonny Bono & Cher,
• The Captain &Toni Tenille,
• Bert & Ernie,
• Reese's Peanut Butter Fluff & Milk Chocolate,
• Dr. Evil & Mini-Me
• Count Chocula & Frankenberry,

and last, but not least,

• Lady Gaga & her 'Meat Dress' 

Lada Gaga - Such a 'Rare Treat'...

Yes, classic combinations each!!!  And the thing of it is that none of these people / items / food groups were as popular alone as they would ultimately become once they discovered their 'Soul Mate', their 'Better half'. 

In the prophetic words of Dr. Evil, "Mini-Me, you complete me." 

Each of the above referenced combinations were 'completed' once they found, and internalized, their complementary missing 'part'. 

Yings firmly aligned with Yangs, and the rest, as they say, is 'history'... 

After all, the (w)hole is greater than the sum of its respective parts...  [Hey, speaking of 'Holes'!]

I am not exactly pleased to announce that yet another great pairing has taken place.  An epic joining of two giants who will ultimately make the world a Weirder (but probably not safer) place.  

Yes, ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, I am here to announce that the friendly gropers at the TSA have voted to be 'represented by'...

The AFL-CIO  

Go ahead, I'll give you a moment to let that sink in...

Yes, in order to form a more perfect Union, 40,000+ TSA workers voted last week to select the AFL-CIO to represent their 'interests' going forward. 

Surprisingly enough the Obama Administration approved 'Organizing' for the TSA on February 4th of this year.  In the past (under a prior administration), the TSA was not allowed to organize because, gosh golly, their jobs are so darn crucial to our country's airport security needs.  Shoot, if you were a 95 year old cancer patient, who WOULDN'T to remove your Depends in order to prove you don't have an Uzi in your 'Underoos'?  They're lucky it wasn't me (or is it I?) in that wheelchair, I would have cooked something up for them right on the spot.  "Oops, sorry sonny, did I get pooh on your pretty blue glove?"
Yup, so now, if you ever THINK about suing a TSA worker for 'Touching your Junk', or 'Groping your six year old daughter' in violation of your, and her, 4th Amendment protections... 

You need to 'get over it' - because they're represented by the AFL-CIO and they don't take "No _ _ _ _ from Nobody".  Although, I'd be happy to crank one out for 'em after a couple of rounds of airport food.

Not their 'Actual Moto' but like they say,
"Close enough for Government work."

     
It's not that you don't have rights... 

You have PLENTY of rights! 

Come on, don't get so gloomy!!!  Turn that frown upside down!!! 

In the above instance, after all, you have the "Right to Remain Silent"!  Because the TSA will be using the resources of the AFL-CIO to help them settle un-called-for and 'messy' legal disputes about 4th Amendment violations. 

But here's the thing (yeah, I know, I always toss in a 'thing', sorry):  You don't get to vote on whether the TSA is represented by thugs or not, but in November 2012, you will have the right to vote (except in certain polling places in PA) to either continue the policies of the past 30+ months, or to make a course correction. 

How you vote is up to you.  I'm not going to tell you how to vote because, well, you're an adult and you can make up your own mind about how this government's been treating YOU lately.   

I guess all I'm saying is that I don't feel terrily 'good' about the Union controlling my access to an airplane.  It's NOT terribly dissimiliar to the Union Bosses who told Sanitation Workers in New York to 'slow down the clean-up' resulting in accidents,  property damage, revenue losses, and yes, even deaths, during 2010's blizzard.  What mischief could Union politics conjour up when you're trying to get home to Grannie's for Thanksgiving?  (Note to self:  Better pack my own Depends, 'cause I might be on the plane for a REALLY long time if someone files a grievance with the Union while I'm waiting on line.)

No, I don't feel too good about that at all...

"Look for the Union Label, when you are..."  Yes, check out the following ad: 

AFL-CIO Union Ad August, 2008

Funny, but I have MORE than 'two things' which I would like to protect.  You'll find the abbreviated list here:

1. My family,
2. My religion,
3. The US Constitution,
4. The US borders,
5. The Nation - to pass on to my kids

Yes, you could say that my goals are a 'bit' more grandiose than my friend, Mike D., above.  But in America, our goals / dreams should be larger than those expressed by Mike,. the Union Dude. 

His wanting a gun and a job (is this guy a card-carrying NRA Republican?)  Nope, even if he were his ambitions are not quite grand enough... 

How about the following? 

“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Currently, our country appears woefully short on dreams.  Perhaps it's time to shake ourselves awake and re-visit the dreams of our Founders?
 

“Anyone who trades liberty for security deserves neither liberty nor security” -- Benjamin Franklin 

We sleep at our peril.  Liberties taken for granted (for generations) continue to be leeched away by the Obama Administration with the promise that changes made are for our 'good' -whether we like them or not...

I, for one, do not.  

There has never been a clearer choice.  Four more years of
President Obama's Administration will bankrupt our kids' future.
Not that there's anything wrong with THAT...

   

The Lone Marine

I came across this story while looking for an update from my son (the sailor who's in Japan) on FaceBook. Yes, he's doing fine (thanks for asking!), but the story which caught my attention was recently featured on the "IHateTheMedia.com" site.

It was the story of a retired Marine who, since 2002, has come out to salute veterans as they make their way through Washington, DC on motorcycles in route to the Vietnam Memorial for the Annual Rolling Thunder ride.

Retired Staff Sergeant Tim Chambers greets inbound motorcycle-riding veterans in full uniform with a crisp salute. The procession, on average, takes from three to four hours.

Staff Sergeant Tim Chambers shows his respect to his fellow veterans by holding his salute for four hours - this year the task is more difficult than in prior years. Tim Chambers recently broke his wrist - he waited to have it set until after this year's ride.


Yes, the wrist he broke is the one attached to the hand in that multi-hour salute of his.



With all the foolishness in politics, Washington, DC, and my own State of New York these days... Thank God for guys like Staff Sergeant Chambers.

He gives the rest of us something to aspire to.

You can find the link to the article HERE

Have a nice weekend folks...

'IF' Sarah Palin is an Idiot...

Okay, here’s the premise espoused by the nice folks in the Media:

 

Sarah Palin is a Mama-Grizzly-Conservative-Nut-Job who, by virtue of her intellect, could NEVER be President of the United States.

All rightey then…


So, how do you explain away the following series of clips featuring Candidate Obama (as found on the www.iowntheworld.com site) contrasting comments made about ‘her’, followed up by clips of ‘him’?




If SHE’s an idiot - which singular choice word describes Barack Obama?


Oh, that’s right, he’s the most intelligent guy in the room -- assuming, of course, that he is alone, and the family dog is in the other room 'licking herself'…


But I guess that’s more than one word.


I do have a singular word which explains the man…

 “Wrong”


Please understand that I am a man of limited abilities. The difference, however, between President Obama and myself is that I understand my limitations - he does not.  And anyone within camera range doesn't notice them either.  It's almost as if he exists within his own 'Vortex of Reality' where his words, actions, and ideas are exempt from scrutiny from the Media. 

My WIFE doesn't cut me the kind of slack this man gets on a regular basis from people who once belonged to the 'Fourth Estate'.  Perhaps my running for public office is NOT out of the question? 

Well, provided that my dog doesn't run against me, of course.  She's a Golden Retreiver, and I'm pretty sure that she IS a genius...  As for me, well, you know. 

I say no more.

WWDD

Ah, the old 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet...  Nice!

Unfortunately, the only thing this post shares with WWJD is the fact that three of the four letters are identical - one letter in today's post has been replaced by another.

Today is Father's Day! 

On this day, I submit to you that while keeping the teachings of Jesus (insert the name of any religious 'entity' or 'belief' you may follow here) as the basis for my / our / your moral compass is critical to our national / personal well-being, I ask that you consider changing one letter today in honor of my / your Dad.

WWDD = What Would Dad Do?

The reality is that I ask myself this particular question daily.  This isn't a Father's Day 'specific event' because to me - every day is Father's Day. 

Why? 

Because every day I think about my Dad (yes, you too Mom, but you know, it's Father's Day, soooo...).

I remember the things my Dad taught me. 

I remember the things he showed me.

I learned what it is to be a 'Dad' from my Dad.

Consider the following examples of what being a Dad 'is':

• If you always take care of your family first - 'other stuff' will get done if it's important enough to spend your time on, 
• If you realize that being a Dad (or Mom) is the most important job there is,
• If your youngest son decides to test whether a plastic bottle of shampoo is truly 'Unbreakable' (it's what the 'Ad' said!) by repeatedly hitting it into the living room carpet until it shatters and showers shampoo onto a carpeted area roughly the size of Rhode Island and you DO NOT murder the child,
• If you let your youngest son get a dog when he's in High School and then adopt the dog as your own when he moves away to seek 'adventure', 
• If your youngest son's dog escapes out the back door on Thanksgiving and you spend the next hour (although, it could have been longer) walking through the potato fields behind the house shouting her name until your voice is gone,
• If this very same dog returns 'on her own' later Thanksgiving day covered in mud, wrapped in potato vines, and loaded with those 'sticky ball' things that get caught in fur and all you say is, "I'm glad she's back",
• If you go on a Boy Scout camp out and your son and the next-door-neighbor kid pitch their tent in a spot (which turns out to be a low-spot) and it begins to pour during the night and the tent begins to flood and you drag them from their soaked tent and put them into your dry tent,
• If you then move your stuff into their already-compromised tent to spend the rest of the night in because there's not enough room for you and them in your warm & dry tent,
• If the first time your son sees you cry is at his wedding,
• If you tear up when you renew your wedding vows with your family present at your 50th Wedding Anniversary,

If any of the above situations apply to you, you are an awesome Dad.

Happy Father's Day Dad! 

Thanks for making it look easy when it wasn't. 

Thanks for knowing when to step in and when to stand back. 

Thanks for always being there when it matters the most.

Bottom line is... 

Thanks for being the guy I will always call, 'Dad'. 

I'm a lucky kid. 

Go'Fish

Goldfish ("SanFranciscas Must Protectectus")

DATELINE:  JUNE 15, 2011
PLACE:        SAN FRANCISCO, CA
MISSION:     SAVE THE 'FISH OF GOLD'

ALERT HUMANS!  The San Francisco Animal Control Commission has just determined that it is wrong for YOU to purchase a pet anywhere in the city of San Francisco... 

Not kidding.  No, really - Seriously. 

WHY?  Because puppies, kittens, birds, turtles, and even goldfish can be bred in 'Puppy Mills' (I'm not sure how the cute fuzzy kittens, birds, and fish feel about being born in 'Puppy Mills'). 

The San Francisco Animal Control Commission says that pet purchases are 'impulse buys', and the nice folks at the SFACC do not want you to have any 'impulses'. 
Where were THEY when Anthony Weiner was getting into all that trouble a few weeks ago?

According to the SanFrancisco Chronicle Online: 

"Most fish in aquariums are either mass bred" under inhumane conditions "or taken from the wild," commission member Philip Gerrie said. That leads to "devastation of tropical fish from places like Southeast Asia," he said.

The proposed ban, which the commission just adopted after a year of study, was expanded to cover animal breeders as well as pet stores. As you might expect, it has local merchants like Ocean Aquarium owner Justin Hau dumbfounded.

"The city is taking more and more control," Hau said. "They are very stupid."
 ...
Commission President Sally Stephens, who opposed the ban because it would include small animal-breeding operations, says it's up to the Board of Supervisors to make the final call.

"All this is, is a recommendation," Stephens said.

Sometimes the supes act on the commission's recommendations, such as when they approved a ban on declawing cats. And sometimes they don't, such as when the animal panel suggested introducing birth control pills into birdseed to solve the city's pigeon problem.

A couple of questions here: 

• Phillip Gerrie (above, first highlight) says that fish are either bred, or taken from the wild.  So, if someone in San Francisco wanted to ever purchase a dog, cat, or fish, where would they have to go to get one?  The lab where they cloned that sheep?  Might not this be classified as inhumane also?  And if all your pets looked exactly alike, why bother?  You get two dogs who are exact copies of each other, what do you do, brand them to tell them apart?  Yeah, the folks running San Francisco are going to LOVE that option.
• They like the idea of de-clawing cats, but (second highlight) they also 'like' the idea of putting birth control pills into birdseed to solve the city's pigeon problem?  Yes, it's better for YOU to replace your furniture than it is for them to get 'pooped on' by the disrespectful errant pigeon.  They'd rather have all pigeons die out naturally without the opportunity to reproduce but YOU can't buy one miserable goldfish.  Yes, they've got some real nature-lovers out there in SanFrancisco!  

I hope no one gets the idea that those seals in the harbor are a distraction to the tourists or they'll have the San Francisco Animal Control Commissioners out on them docks with hefty pieces of lumber clubbing those baby seals - all in the name of 'humanity'. 

Enjoy your rights while you have them.  Little by little, rights have a tendency to fade away - especially when you're not looking at them. 

I'll leave you with this:  In a totally un-related story (it's from Illinois - land of Lincoln / Obama) a burglar kills a family's goldfish because...

He didn't want any witnesses to his 'crime'. 

Nope, not making this story up either.  Here's the link:  Burglar

Do You Want to See My 'Little Weiner'?

Admittedly, the title of this post just 'came out wrong' when I wrote it.  But given the amount of time I have to slap this bad boy together, well, I'm just gonna let it rip! 

How could I possibly write a post, with photos, about a little weiner? 

Let alone...  Mine?   
That would be wrong.

So WHAT is the subject of today's voyage into the ethereal void of 'little weinerness / weirdness'?


Is this post about little 'Weiner Dogs'?

No, it's not. 


Is it about an photo I found online of Condi Rice providing the audience at a congressional hearing with an unfortunate 'Visual Aid'?

No, it's not.


Is it about an unfortunately-named dog called:   'Lucky'?

Once again, sadly, it's not. 

Today's post is about something completely, and totally different from the above. 

It's about...

Why I Love the Free Market!

Yes ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages - I LOVE CAPITALISM!

It is the engine which, when left 'mostly alone' from Federal intervention, drives our Great American Experiment's economy boldly into the future.

While doing exhaustive research (defined here as:  "More than six minutes") for today's post I 'Googled':  "little weiner photos" and came up with the above images, as well as 25.7 MILLION other hits. 

NOTE:  You should never Google 'little weiner photos'.  Trust me on this.   

Alas, I was only looking for a specific 'hit' to get today's post going and I found it moments ago.

THIS is the specific item for which I searched extensively (almost 7 FULL minutes)...

THE ANTHONY WEINER ACTION FIGURE!

This is the 'Adult' Version, complete
with life-like, action 'protrusion'
'Kung Fu Grip' NOT available - Yet.
Ewwwww!!!

But wait, there's MORE!!!

When you're spending your hard-earned dollars on the Anthony Weiner Action Figure you want to make sure that he, as always, is in the full 'upright and locked' position. 

To proudly display your 'little weiner' you'll also want to purchase the...

Optional "Vertical-Weiner-Enhancement" Device!

To complete your 'little weiner' collection, be sure to purchase the (non-working - just like the man himself!) Anthony Weiner Blackberry (RIM) device!!!

Imagine the hours of fun YOU can have pretend-texting obscene photos of private parts to people, and children, you do not know!!!

"Hey, who's that on my Blackberry? 
Wait a minute - how old ARE you?!?!?
If you're over 17 - are you nekked??? 
If you're not over 17 - is your Mom there???
Umm, you're not saving these messages, are you?"

Leave it to the American Entrepreneurial spirit to turn a decidely-tacky chain of events into a potential Revenue Stream!  

This is, after all, a truly great country!!!

Other items available via "Herobuilders.com"?


Celebrate will all America as President Obama single-handedly takes out Osama Bin Laden by purchasing your very own Rambama Action Figure. 

Actual 'guts' available, but in limited supply.

"Why am I smiling, my poll numbers are in the dumper?"

Build your own female Republican Presidential Candidate with a wide assortment of clothing, make-up, hair, and 'Tattoo' options!!!

2010 Palin 'Prom Hair' Head!

Be the coolest kid on your block with your very own Hillary Clinton action figure (surprisingly, Bill Clinton is not available.  I thought he was always 'available' to the ladies...)

What party would be complete without the John (I've been to Viet Nam - so buy my wife's ketchup) Kerry action figure!?!?

"I was against this action figure of myself before I was for it..."

And lastly, what Progressive boy or girl wouldn't love to have the GW Bush action figure to dismember, mutilate, stick pins into, or otherwise blame (out loud and in public) for the current state of our economy!?!?  It's not really President Obama's fault, now is it???

"Look Ma, I'm an action figure -
I'd better do something again soon!"

Have a nice day folks, may all of your action figures have fully-reticulated bodies and Blackberry devices suitable for 'Sexting'!

I love private sector businesses... 

Turning lemons into lemonade 24x7x365!

The Perfect Father's Day Gift

Hi there!

Looking for the perfect Father's Day Gift for your Dad?

Looking for something that a Majority of United States' 'Dads' would LOVE to get this Father's Day?

Is your Dad looking to Support 'World Peace'?

Well, look no further!!!

The Liberal Nut Company  of Tupelo, MS has what YOUR Dad is looking for Father's Day 2011!
Nancy Pelosi's Nuts -- In a Bag!
(Mr. Pelosi's Nuts haven't been seen in YEARS!)

Yes, I know that it's too good to be true, BUT a company in Tupelo, MS, (in the midst of the Great Obama Recession ) has begun selling a complete line of Gourmet Salted Mississippi Peanuts in an effort to:

a.)  Make evil profits

b.)  Make politically incorrect 'points'

and, finally,

c.)  To bring about 'World Peace'(Okay, so I made up Point C above - sorry.  I thought it was a beauty contest for a minute...)

Other selections from the Liberal Nut Company include the finest NUTS found in Washington (and politics) today:
Harry Reid,
Bill Clinton,
Michael Moore,
Al Gore,
and MANY more!

Excerpting from Al Gore's 'Nut Label'...

Quote: "As many know, the Chinese expression for "crisis" consists of two characters side by side. The first is the symbol for "danger," the second the symbol for "opportunity."
Al Gore - An Inconvenient Truth

Liberal Nut Editorial:  Al Gore continues to sound the "danger" alarm while secretly seizing "opportunity."  "Danger" and the Global Warming Crisis don't scare Mr. Gore; he lives comfortably, surrounded by "opportunity", in his new $9 million California mansion. 

If what Al proclaims is true, his ocean front home will be the first to disappear when the ice cap melts.

Hey, so what are YOU waiting for? 

Why are you still reading THIS???

Leave NOW!!! 

You'd better order your 'Liberal Nuts' soon because while Liberal Progressives will keep making MORE (Liberal Nuts).


Heh, heh, heh...  [Evil laugh]

Liberal Nuts... Even if they taste really horrible, just think of the fun you'll have of chewing them up and... 

Spitting them out in 2012!

Real 'Impotence'!

Fin and Buttercup go for a swim!

Ah, Friday afternoon!  The temperature continues its inexorable climb upward, the DOW Jones Industrial Average continues its inexorable descent to the basement, and the United States, it turns out, has begun a fourth military (This week's War du jour:  Yemen!) action. 

As we take a moment to put Congressman Weiner into that small, dark place where 'bad things go to hide', let's pause and reflect on the most pressing issues facing America today...


Up for consideration this Friday afternoon:

• Auto Execs want you to pay $1 more per gallon in lieu of their involvement meeting Congressionally-mandated CAFE standards recently signed into law by President Obama:  Link HERE     Hold on, didn't we just give this boneheads $60 or $70 BILLION to help them stay in business?  Now they want more from US to make their lives easier? 
• Golden Eagles in California being 'Cuisinarted' by windmills because Nature-Loving-Guys-&-Gals love The Greenness of it all?  Link HERE 
• China's warning to the world that the United States of America "Has already begun defaulting" on its obligations  Link HERE  (Can you smell the irony?)
• JP Morgan Chase predicts that home values will CONTINUE their declines for the upcoming 12 months?  Link HERE
• Chris Matthews believes that, "people in the rural areas of this country who are Christian conservative culturally - you can say backward if you want...don't like this kind of stuff." and this may have an negative impact on Anthony Weiner's position in Congress.  He may, GASP!, be at risk of being forced out by 'Blue Dog Democrats'!  Link HERE
• Oh, but don't worry, because Nancy Pelosi says he's okay, and she will not ask for his resignation...  Link HERE
• But wait!  There's more!!!  NEW CASTLE, Del. -- Police here are investigating direct online communications between New York Rep. Anthony Weiner and a 17-year-old girl and are looking for any other young women who may be involved, though the nature of the communications wasn't immediately clear.  Link HERE  Sure, nothing more to see here...

No. None of these issues is worthy of comment other than on small crazy loon fringe-blogs (just like the one you're reading!).  By the way, thanks for stopping by! 

The most important national issue, according to the NY Times, Washington Post, and other 'Real' Media Outlets is...

Trove of Palin E-Mails Draws Press to Alaska

From the NY Times online:  "The New York Times and other news organizations intend to assemble their own searchable online databases of the documents, and some, including The Times, were asking readers Thursday to help reporters sift through the voluminous correspondence in the coming days."

...

"We’re asking readers to help us identify interesting and newsworthy e-mails, people and events that we may want to highlight. Interested users can fill out a simple form to describe the nature of the e-mail, and provide a name and e-mail address so we’ll know who should get the credit. Join us here on Friday afternoon and into the weekend to participate."


Yes, as the economy slumps, Congress continues to spend money it / we don't have, bombs are launched in the name of peace, the most important news event of this week is this:  Sarah Palin's e-mails are now public. 

AND, the Media, too lazy to sift through the debris themselves, ask awaiting partisan lapdogs do it for them.  Good for them, I hope they have rippin' good time!

As for myself, I'm off to eat dinner with my family.  Perhaps I'll pet my dog and read a good book or something later this evening. 

For those rascally rabbits rabidly reviewing the e-mails at the request of the once-stalwart 'Fourth Estate' -- hey, guys and gals, don't forget to eat!  For man does not live on e-mail alone.  Sometimes he / she needs protein too...  And a chocolate chip shake sounds pretty good right about now...

Have a nice weekend folks,

Moo

 

p.s.:  Nothing more to see here - go on, git!  Get moo-vin!  Go see your family!

The Single-State Solution (By Andrew Klavan)

Andrew Klavan responds to President Obama's request that Israel return to its 1967 with a counter-proposal of his own...

Give the entire Middle East to the Jews.




Works for me...



If the link above doesn't work for you (as I normally mess up the 'embedding' thing), please click the following:  KLAVAN

"It's Groovy Baby - Yeah!"



Cheers Baby...  Yeah!

I began writing this post early Monday morning prior to the whole 'Weiner Thing'.  Yes, all things considered, I thought that a post about our economy and the stellar accomplishments of the Obama Administration was preferable to yet another post about an idiot 'Member' of Congress.  (I thank you!)

But this what happens most days, I head off in one direction, life intervenes, and I get spun off in another direction.

We now re-join yesterday's post, already in progress...

This past weekend, Austan Goolsbee appeared on network television to try to explain away last week's dismal jobs report.  So, how'd he do?

This morning (a.k.a.:  Tuesday, June 7, 2011) President Obama's Chairman of Economic Advisers, Goolsbee, announced that he is resigning his post to return to teaching at the University of Chicago.

Oops.  

Hmm, I'm reminded of not one, but TWO jokes...

Inappropriate joke section begins!

"So Mrs. Lincoln, how was the REST of the play?", or,

"Mrs. Lincoln, would you like a table, or a Booth?" 

Inappropriate jokes ends!

So what did Austan Goolsbee say which did not amuse his boss? 

From the Huffington Post:  "Don't bank too much of any one month's jobs report," Goolsbee told Christian Amanpour on her Sunday program The Week. "You want to look at a little bit of a trend to get a more accurate barometer."

Government stimulus might have been essential to preventing the country from sinking into another Great Depression, Goolsbee says, but it's the private sector that must pull the country up. "Our effort now as a government should be to get the private sector, to help them stand up, lead the recovery," he said. "Government is not the central driver of recovery."

Hey, wha' the???  Did Austan Goolsbee 'dis' his boss' policies on ABC television?  Did he discover the 'Private Sector'? 

Yes, I believe he did. 

I located the transcript of the ABC's 'This Week' online.  Here's an interesting segment which hasn't gotten much / any coverage: 

AMANPOUR: Are you concerned that Moody's is saying that it may look at downgrading if certain benchmarks aren't met?

GOOLSBEE: Look, I think what Moody said is, you have to pay your bills, and if you don't pay your bills, there are going to be consequences. And I think everybody agrees with that.

Now, I'm relatively optimistic that -- because you've seen leaders on both sides of the aisle saying they don't want to push this all the way right up to the -- to the edge of the -- of Treasury's authority of what can be done. This is not an alarm clock. It would be extremely dangerous to get right up to the edge or -- you've seen some people even saying, well, it'd be OK if we defaulted for a short period.

That's not true; we shouldn't do that. We should resolve this over the next month.

AMANPOUR: Austan Goolsbee, thank you very much, indeed, for joining me.

The light on the LCD screen flickers, the sound fades, and Austan Goolsbee will be gone from the Obama Administration within a month so if there is a resolution - it's will not be his. 

He's off to the University of Chicago to teach more academics... 

To be just like him.  [SHUDDER]


I took a little trip to my favorite 'Happy Place'. 

McDonalds'?  No. 
Wally World?  No. 
WalMart?  No, not likely.  (Seriously, have you ever BEEN to WalMart?)

Okay, quit guessing!  I went to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics site to check out Unemployment Stats for the past couple of years.  Austan said the decrease in the number of jobs was merely a 'Bump in the road' to recovery, so I wanted to look for myself.  Boy, I hope they have a chart (which is a clickable link to the site itself!). 

Oh look, here it is now!!!

Unemployment between May of 2009 and May of 2011 averages between 9.5% for most of the two year period.  It begins to edge down in November 2010.  I went looking to see if I could come up with a reason that President Obama's Economic Policies began to 'Kick In' in November 2010, but all I could find in 'Chart 1' was the following... 

The Democrats in the House of Representatives had their political 'heads' handed to them in the mid-term elections.  Perhaps business owners believed for a brief period that 'Hope and Change' had actually arrived in Washington?  Yeah, that's my theory anyway.

But then, 'Stuff' happened:  The Debt Ceiling Stalemate(s), Boehner Caves, Gas prices begin their ascent, and Washington, DC goes back to doing what it does best - not doing much of anything useful.

Lacking leadership from the President on the budget and the inability of Republicans to pass veto-proof legislation and budgets through Congress - America begins to settle back to where we have been for the past two years... 

'Malaiseville, USA'. 

The ONE guy who did okay?

Austan Goolsbee

He leaves the Obama Adminstration with his head held high knowing that he'll get his old job back at the University. 

One more job 'created or saved' by the Obama Administration.  

Groovy Baby, yeah!  Oh behave, Austan!