Thursday, June 30, 2011

How to Write a Blog... Part I - The Importance of Booze



Hi.  My name is Mike.  I have a blog...

Sometimes people find it.

Sometimes people read it. 


Sometimes they enjoy it. 

And other times...  (Well, if you've been here before, you know...)

I have been posting pretty regularly on my Moosroom site since the beginning of 2011.  The blog has been in existence for a couple of years, but it wasn't until this year that I decided to get serious about posting 'stuff' under my own...  'Brand'.  ('Brand', get it?  It's a 'cow' thing.) 

Oh, never mind - it's not funny when I feel the need to explain it.

Several things have happened over the past six months that I thought would be excellent reference material for folks thinking about creating a blog (that someone will actually 'find' and then, hopefully, 'read'). 

These are things to know in advance - rather than finding out by accident, like I did. 

Blog Rule #1:  Use the word 'Booze' early and often.  

Why?  Because there are a lot of people on the Internet using their browsers to search out, you guessed it...  'Booze'!  (I did not know this)

Here is a listing of the words which brought people to my blog, as well as the number of times the key word was searched for:
Yes, the word 'Booze' was searched 201 times

A couple of tips regarding using the word 'Booze' to drive traffic to your blog posts:


  1. Include the word 'Booze' in the title of your entry
  2. If the site you're blogging on allows you to enter either 'Tags' or 'Labels', be sure to enter the word, 'Booze' there as well.  Plainly stated, you can never have too much booze while you are blogging - you'll have to trust me on this.
  3. If the word 'Booze' does not lend itself to the post topic, try substituting words such as the following:  "Cute Baby Kittens", "Funny Puppies", "Funny Dogs", or perhaps, even, "Stupid Humans"
Why?

Because there are 'Web-Crawlers' and 'Spiders' out there that spend their entire 'virtual lives' collecting data on website content.  There are many people (I'm ass-u-ming these are MOSTLY female) who love to look at things having to do with "Cute Baby Kittens" and "Funny Puppies / Dogs". 

As for the remaining 49% of the population, they're either looking up stuff having to do with "Stupid Humans" (takes one to know one) or anything online containing the word - "Booty". 

Yes, for some reason there are many men who like to search online for 'small childrens' shoes'. 

I don't know why.

By following the simple instructions above, you will be able to attract large, diverse audiences from across the GLOBE.  Consider the following 'actual' representation of traffic at the MoosRoom blog since the incorporation of the word, "Booze" into a single post several months ago. 

"When all else is equal - Booze makes the difference!" -  Mike Kane

See the impact that the word, 'Booze' made on my blog?  The only post (until today, of course) which included the word: "Booze" is now the run-away-hands-down-most-viewed entry on the site. 

The ironic thing is, it's not about "Booze", it's about my hearing loss due to Tinnitus.


SUCKERS!  (Oh, I meant, um, "Sorry"...  No, really.  I mean it.)

On Monday of this week there were 5,000 pageviews of this site.  As I type this on Thursday morning, there are something like 79,000!!! 

Hold on, I'd better re-check that - seems like a bit more than I would expect...

Okay, so the number is more like 5,360, but still, that's not bad, when you consider the first two years this blog was 'alive' it only had fewer than 700 views. 

The difference, of course is 'Booze'.

10 Years from now when someone asks me, "Mike, how did that blog get to be so popular (with other 8,000 total views!)?"

I can honestly answer, "It was the 'booze'."

And depending upon how well the "Cute Kittens" and "Funny Puppies" track in the search results in the body of this post as well as the associated post 'Labels', yeah, you'll see more of them as well.    

I guess content is important, but, in the scheme of things, does it really 'count'? 

We'll see!

p.s.:  No kittens, puppies, or bootys were injured in the generation of this post. 

p.p.s.:  'How to Write a Blog...  Part II - How to Alienate Friends and Family in 850 Words or Less' -- Coming soon to a site near you. 
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