Friday, April 6, 2012

"Hey Man, You Got The Stuff?" Part III

"Hey, what are you giving me?  What's in the pouch?  Is it some kind of 'magic dust' or something?" Cheech asks.

"It's something you NEED man.  They told me you ought to take it because it's paid for.  They are giving this stuff away.  They say the more they give away, the more they get..."  Tommy explains.

"Okay, so why are they giving this stuff away?  And seriously, like, who paid for it?  Come on man, nobody gives stuff away, unless it's like junk or something???  What's the hitch?  Is there something wrong with it?  Am I going to find a human finger in it or some dirty cut toenails?" asks Cheech.
"I don't know, but all I know is that there's plenty more where this stuff came from...  These cafeteria ladies were handing stuff out to everyone man - they had so much, they wanted me to bring back a friend." Tommy says.

"Oh, so I'm your friend?" asks Cheech.

"You'd better be." says Tommy. 

"How come?"

"Because you owe me fifty bucks for the OTHER stuff I gave you yesterday.  You know, the special stuff." Tommy says.

"Oh, yeah, man, I forgot about that...  Was it really fifty?  That seems like a lot...  You think the cafeteria ladies have cash to hand out too?"  Cheech asks.

"I dunno man, they might.  They looked like they were on some kind of a mission or something."  Tommy says.  "Hey, you think they got brownies too?  I love brownies man."

LA Unified School District was in the news (and in our MoosRoom) in February, 2012 for their 'LA Menu Healthy Meals' prepared for students in the district.  Under the strict guidance of a Nutritional Advisor, meals were lovingly prepared en masse for the unsuspecting students.   The only problem was that kids don't want to eat lunches consisting of Vegetarian curry and Quinoa Salad - even if the lunch is FREE. 

Shoot, I'd PAY money not to eat that stuff.  Just out of curiousity, what's a 'Quinoa'?  It sounds like a fish, a tree frog, or something you'd grow in a petris dish.  I really didn't want to do research today, but let's see what they say about Quinoa over at (yes, and actual site dedicated to 'Quinoa' recipes - go figure):

Quinoa Salad

One of my favorite ways to enjoy quinoa is quinoa salad! It is easy to make, healthy and great for anyone who is busy! Simply cook a big batch of quinoa when you have time and always have some on hand in your refrigerator.

It will keep in a sealed container for up to a week. Then, you can whip up a quinoa salad recipe in less than 10 minutes! Cold quinoa salad makes great leftovers and is perfect for a packed lunch!   

Yup, just what I was thinking - tree frogs or fish (they CAN be 'kept in a sealed container for up to a week' - then, of course, they either die, or reproduce). 

Okay, so the author of the site isn't going to tell me what Quinoa is, so I'm not going to ask again.  The heck with her - we're moving on.

Bottom line is that the LAUSD introduced this 'most excellent' healthy menu for school kids and...

Kids stopped eating the food at the school. 

This is bad for two reasons: 

1.  The 'wrong sort of' kids [future entrepreneurs] began selling contraband lunches to other kids (meals which included meat, sugar, flour, and starches).  [Yes, even in LA, the 'markets' work - better squelch this movement before the kids morph into Conservatives]

2.  The school district, not meeting their obligation to provide meals for 'X percentage of kids' was in jeopardy of losing their school lunch program funding - and nobody wants to lose their 'Obama Money' for lunches (for clarification on Obama Money, click here:  Obama Money

In the end, the school district abandoned feeding the children sticks and twigs and boldly reinstated French Toast Sticks as a proud member of the Food Pyramid, Triangle, Circle of Life, or whatever they're calling it today.  The kids are once again eating processed, sugared, canned, and mechanically-separated meals - Yumm-O!

If your goal was to make even MORE children dependent upon the government, and less dependent on Mom and Dad?  What would YOU do???

That's right - try really, really hard to give MORE federally-subsidized food away. 

Check out the following from the LAUSD website:


The District is embarking on new initiatives to create breakfast opportunities for our students, specifically the Breakfast in the Classroom (BIC) project. This is a new program pilot LAUSD is implementing at pilot schools to help increase access to breakfast meals to our students.

Currently, over 553,000 of our students qualify for a free/reduced price breakfast but only 29% of our total school population participates. With these staggering numbers, LAUSD is looking for ways to increase participation at breakfast  [Moos Note:  Fish and Tree Frogs?].

Some of the new innovative projects we looked at are providing breakfast in class, after the first bell or on their way to class. Recent studies have shown that schools who provide an in classroom breakfast or a grab ‘n go type of meal for their students show a significant increase in academic scores, decrease in absenteeism and tardiness and increase in their attention span and focus.

These great benefits are what we want for our students.

Breakfast in the Classroom works in a myriad of ways. The meals can be packed at the cafeteria and picked up in temperature controlled bags by the students and delivered to the classrooms. Students would then take a breakfast meal and use the roster attached to sign off if a meal was received. The grab ‘n go process creates an area near the entrance of the school for students to pick up a “grab bag” with a breakfast to take to their class to eat during homeroom or right before class starts. 

[Yes, nothing says 'increased concentration' like eating a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel at the beginning of the class period.  From purely personal experience, I typically need to 'evacuate my bowels' immediately after the first meal of the day - but, you know, that's just me...  Perhaps the school plans on beefing up it's supply of TP ('pape de toilette') and add more lavatory stalls for all those additional school-based 'discharges'?]


Over one-half-a-Million kids qualify for free / reduced price breakfasts (but only 29% of the school population participates)?  [Click HERE for a video of your child WITHOUT benefit of a wholesome school breakfast!!! This is tragic and sad...]

Well, we must certainly get THESE numbers UP!!! 

LAUSD School Breakfasts and Lunches:   Food so good, they can't even give it away!!! 

Let's get more kids out from under from their parents' un-skilled dietary care and place them under the watchful eyes of well-trained, caring, organized, and highly-benefited SEIU cafeteria workers...

Because no one loves you like the Cafeteria Men and Women wearing the Purple Shirt of quality -- the SEIU team!


If you're not getting any from your Mom or Dad, you'll be getting it from your friendly SEIU school staff (soon).

Just remember to pay them. 

Or else. 

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