Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A Nancy Pelosi Parable (Yes, it's true)

"And it was thiiiiiiiis big.  Hey there, did you just take my picture?"

[Nancy Pelosi illustrating how huge of a 'whopper' she just told to Jeff Greenfield...]

Yahoo! News "The Ticket" -- Jeff Greenfield, April 03, 2012

The parable of the blue cup: What Nancy Pelosi says is the problem with Democrats

So, I asked House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi in an interview the other night, what could keep the Democrats from retaking the House of Representatives in November? She pointed to a cup on the table between us.

"When the Republican leadership tells its members, 'there is a blue cup on the table,' every Republican repeats, 'there is a blue cup on the table,'" she said. She sighed. "When I tell my fellow Democrats, 'there is a blue cup on the table,' one will say 'there is a blue cup on a round table.' Another will say, 'there is a blue cup next to Nancy Pelosi's cup.' Another: 'a blue cup on a brown table.'"

"And I say, 'why did you say that?'" she went on. "And the answer is: 'because it's true.'"
It may sound as if the former speaker, who still holds the top Democratic leadership position in the House, is conducting a linguistics seminar.

But her point is simple: Democrats are incapable of the clear, simple messaging at which Republicans excel.

Oh, I don't know.  This seems to be a fairly 'clear, simple' message to me.
And I'm pretty sure the guy putting the cover together was NOT a Republican...
Although, I'm probably not smart enough to know that I've been insulted.

Okay, so I've got a couple of issues with the "Gospel according to Nancy":

  1. IF Nancy Pelosi told her colleagues that "there was a blue cup on the table", they wouldn't talk about it - they'd spend the next fifteen minutes trying to wrestle it from one another claiming that it OUGHT to be theirs - THEN Pelosi would whack them all on the head with that gavel of hers shouting,  "You morons, I was just trying to be OBTUSE!!!".  Then, of course, she'd put the blue cup into her over-sized handbag and leave them face-down bleeding on the table
  2. IF John Boehner told his colleagues that "there was a cup on the table" - they'd look at him like he was freaking 'nuts'.  Instead of repeating one after the another on 'the blueness of the cup' he'd get a series of "Yeah, so, Johnny boy, what's your point?  The country's falling apart and you're staring at that mug - why???  We all need a drink kidd-o, but buddy, hang in there...  The hard work hasn't even started yet."
  3. IF Nancy Pelosi spent more time working for bipartisan solutions in Congress with her Republican brethren rather than creating inane analogies for fetid fans hanging on her every word...  Perhaps we could avoid future verbal diarrhea such as the following 2010 variety:

At the time this insanity was spoken, Madame Speaker was #2 in line to succeed President Obama. 

As I write this short blurb this evening, I need to tell you that Nancy Pelosi is still #2 with me.  She is, and always will be one, large, steamy #2 with me...

President Obama?  Yeah, he's still #1. 

Let's collect him in Pelosi's blue cup and put him up on the shelf where he belongs... 

Right there next to all those other useless mugs serving in his Administration.

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