"Hey Man, You Got The Stuff?" Part III

"Hey, what are you giving me?  What's in the pouch?  Is it some kind of 'magic dust' or something?" Cheech asks.


"It's something you NEED man.  They told me you ought to take it because it's paid for.  They are giving this stuff away.  They say the more they give away, the more they get..."  Tommy explains.


"Okay, so why are they giving this stuff away?  And seriously, like, who paid for it?  Come on man, nobody gives stuff away, unless it's like junk or something???  What's the hitch?  Is there something wrong with it?  Am I going to find a human finger in it or some dirty cut toenails?" asks Cheech.
 
"I don't know, but all I know is that there's plenty more where this stuff came from...  These cafeteria ladies were handing stuff out to everyone man - they had so much, they wanted me to bring back a friend." Tommy says.


"Oh, so I'm your friend?" asks Cheech.


"You'd better be." says Tommy. 


"How come?"


"Because you owe me fifty bucks for the OTHER stuff I gave you yesterday.  You know, the special stuff." Tommy says.


"Oh, yeah, man, I forgot about that...  Was it really fifty?  That seems like a lot...  You think the cafeteria ladies have cash to hand out too?"  Cheech asks.


"I dunno man, they might.  They looked like they were on some kind of a mission or something."  Tommy says.  "Hey, you think they got brownies too?  I love brownies man."


LA Unified School District was in the news (and in our MoosRoom) in February, 2012 for their 'LA Menu Healthy Meals' prepared for students in the district.  Under the strict guidance of a Nutritional Advisor, meals were lovingly prepared en masse for the unsuspecting students.   The only problem was that kids don't want to eat lunches consisting of Vegetarian curry and Quinoa Salad - even if the lunch is FREE. 

Shoot, I'd PAY money not to eat that stuff.  Just out of curiousity, what's a 'Quinoa'?  It sounds like a fish, a tree frog, or something you'd grow in a petris dish.  I really didn't want to do research today, but let's see what they say about Quinoa over at www.cookingquinoa.net (yes, and actual site dedicated to 'Quinoa' recipes - go figure):


Quinoa Salad

One of my favorite ways to enjoy quinoa is quinoa salad! It is easy to make, healthy and great for anyone who is busy! Simply cook a big batch of quinoa when you have time and always have some on hand in your refrigerator.

It will keep in a sealed container for up to a week. Then, you can whip up a quinoa salad recipe in less than 10 minutes! Cold quinoa salad makes great leftovers and is perfect for a packed lunch!   

Yup, just what I was thinking - tree frogs or fish (they CAN be 'kept in a sealed container for up to a week' - then, of course, they either die, or reproduce). 

Okay, so the author of the site isn't going to tell me what Quinoa is, so I'm not going to ask again.  The heck with her - we're moving on.

Bottom line is that the LAUSD introduced this 'most excellent' healthy menu for school kids and...


Kids stopped eating the food at the school. 


This is bad for two reasons: 

1.  The 'wrong sort of' kids [future entrepreneurs] began selling contraband lunches to other kids (meals which included meat, sugar, flour, and starches).  [Yes, even in LA, the 'markets' work - better squelch this movement before the kids morph into Conservatives]

2.  The school district, not meeting their obligation to provide meals for 'X percentage of kids' was in jeopardy of losing their school lunch program funding - and nobody wants to lose their 'Obama Money' for lunches (for clarification on Obama Money, click here:  Obama Money) 

In the end, the school district abandoned feeding the children sticks and twigs and boldly reinstated French Toast Sticks as a proud member of the Food Pyramid, Triangle, Circle of Life, or whatever they're calling it today.  The kids are once again eating processed, sugared, canned, and mechanically-separated meals - Yumm-O!

If your goal was to make even MORE children dependent upon the government, and less dependent on Mom and Dad?  What would YOU do???

That's right - try really, really hard to give MORE federally-subsidized food away. 

Check out the following from the LAUSD website:

__________________________________________________

The District is embarking on new initiatives to create breakfast opportunities for our students, specifically the Breakfast in the Classroom (BIC) project. This is a new program pilot LAUSD is implementing at pilot schools to help increase access to breakfast meals to our students.

Currently, over 553,000 of our students qualify for a free/reduced price breakfast but only 29% of our total school population participates. With these staggering numbers, LAUSD is looking for ways to increase participation at breakfast  [Moos Note:  Fish and Tree Frogs?].

Some of the new innovative projects we looked at are providing breakfast in class, after the first bell or on their way to class. Recent studies have shown that schools who provide an in classroom breakfast or a grab ‘n go type of meal for their students show a significant increase in academic scores, decrease in absenteeism and tardiness and increase in their attention span and focus.

These great benefits are what we want for our students.

Breakfast in the Classroom works in a myriad of ways. The meals can be packed at the cafeteria and picked up in temperature controlled bags by the students and delivered to the classrooms. Students would then take a breakfast meal and use the roster attached to sign off if a meal was received. The grab ‘n go process creates an area near the entrance of the school for students to pick up a “grab bag” with a breakfast to take to their class to eat during homeroom or right before class starts. 

[Yes, nothing says 'increased concentration' like eating a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel at the beginning of the class period.  From purely personal experience, I typically need to 'evacuate my bowels' immediately after the first meal of the day - but, you know, that's just me...  Perhaps the school plans on beefing up it's supply of TP ('pape de toilette') and add more lavatory stalls for all those additional school-based 'discharges'?]


Super...


Over one-half-a-Million kids qualify for free / reduced price breakfasts (but only 29% of the school population participates)?  [Click HERE for a video of your child WITHOUT benefit of a wholesome school breakfast!!! This is tragic and sad...]

Well, we must certainly get THESE numbers UP!!! 

LAUSD School Breakfasts and Lunches:   Food so good, they can't even give it away!!! 

Let's get more kids out from under from their parents' un-skilled dietary care and place them under the watchful eyes of well-trained, caring, organized, and highly-benefited SEIU cafeteria workers...

Because no one loves you like the Cafeteria Men and Women wearing the Purple Shirt of quality -- the SEIU team!

LUNCH (AND NOW 'BREAKFAST') LOVE.

If you're not getting any from your Mom or Dad, you'll be getting it from your friendly SEIU school staff (soon).

Just remember to pay them. 

Or else. 

"Hey Man, You Got the Stuff" Part II

LAUSD 'LA Menu' Healthy Food Choice Items

FRIDAY (THE DAY AFTER THURSDAY)...

Tommy says, "Cheech, can you give me a ride into LA?  I need to pick up my kid for lunch."

Cheech pulls the Chevy hard to the right and stands on the brakes, "No man, you can't eat your kid for lunch, that would be wrong!  What's wrong with you man?!?!"

"No, I said I need to pick my kid up for lunch - you know, I have to take him to lunch." Tommy explains.

"Oh, that's a completely different thing, I guess, right?  But wait, why do you have to take him to lunch, don't they feed him those Free Lunches at school?" Cheech asks.

"I don't know man, they USED to feed him at lunch - but now he wants to spend time eating with me all the time.  It's kind of weird - I never wanted to eat with my Dad."

"Tommy, your Dad used to bite the heads off chickens in that traveling Geek Show of his - nobody wanted to eat with YOUR Dad.  He made the local kids really nervous..." Cheech says.  "Do you remember what happened to that Beagle puppy you got for your sixth birthday?"

"Snack Wrap?"

"Was that his name?" asks Cheech.

"No.  That's what happened to him." answers Tommy.  "Yeah, my Dad was 'different'." 

"So why won't your kid eat the Free Food at the school?" asks Cheech a second time.

"He says they're trying to poison him there.  They give the kids a handful of sticks and twigs wrapped with a celery stalk and tell them it's lunch."

"Any mushrooms?" asks a hopeful Cheech.

"Sometimes, but they're not the right kind of mushrooms." answers Tommy.

"Bummer."

"Huge bummer..."

Cheech pulls his Chevrolet back into traffic and drives towards town.  Tommy falls asleep moments later and dreams of a Big Mac marinated in Hershey's Chocolate Sauce with a side-order of Nabisco Sugar Wafers.  

In the deep corners of his subconscious - a beagle bays...  Then, all is silence with the exception the sounds of a tap-dancing mushroom crunching on a celery stick... 


Well, I told you we'd get back to it. Not as quickly as I wanted, but here we are again, nonetheless.  I promised yesterday morning that I'd tell you what happens when well-meaning tyrants determine what other people, may, or perhaps, may not be allowed to do as it pertains to their dietary habits. 

It's a story of intrigue, political correctness, starving the poorest Americans, and black market burritos. 

It is the story of...

The Los Angeles Unified School District LA Cafe'!

The following excerpts are from the shocked, confused, and 'not getting it at all' folks at Natural News Online:   (NaturalNews) A massive school lunch menu overhaul implemented by the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) in California last year has been met with widespread resistance among district students. CBS 2 in Los Angeles reports that many students are actually choosing to go hungry rather than have to eat revamped, healthier meal offerings like vegetarian curry or quinoa salad.  (Moos Note:  Vegetarian curry and Quinoa Salad?!?!  Yum-O!!!)

Last summer, LAUSD's school board voted to eliminate unhealthy meal options like corn dogs, processed chicken nuggets, and sugar-laden flavored milk beverages in favor of alternative, healthier meal options that incorporate more whole, unprocessed food items. The decision was inspired by celebrity chef Jamie Oliver's show Food Revolution, which at one time featured an LAUSD school on its show, until the permit was revoked.

Many people initially praised LAUSD's decision to alter its lunch menus as a giant step forward towards improving the health of the district's schoolchildren. But few anticipated that the students would ultimately reject these new offerings en masse, choosing instead to smuggle in unhealthy snacks from home, and even trade things like ramen noodles on newly formed and thriving "black markets."  (Moos Note:  Ah, evil 'Free Market Forces' at work again!!!  Curse you Bill of Rights and your 'Freedom to Eat Food You Don't Hate' amendment, curse you to HECK!!!)


Reports indicate that many students have been throwing away their entire meals, including their unopened cartons of plain milk product. And those that are unable to snag a high-demand item from the junk food black market to replace those meals were simply not eating, which was leading to widespread malnutrition at many of the district's schools.

Conditions have gotten so bad that the district is now planning to re-implement many of the menu items that it offered previously, but with supposedly healthier ingredients. A healthier type of pizza will be returning to lunchrooms, for instance, as will hamburgers and cheeseburgers. Dishes like brown rice cutlets and quinoa salad, on the other hand, are getting nixed.

No matter what LAUSD serves, it is required to serve a certain amount of it to students, and those students are required to accept that amount, even if they do not want it.

This is why so much of the undesired food has ended up in trashcans rather than given to somebody else. But ABC 7 News in Los Angeles recently reported that some students are now volunteering to help give these leftover meals to those in need.  (Moos Note:  No mention here of whether 'those in need' are rejecting the sticks and twigs also.  But I have my suspicions  arethat those 'in need' are looking for other folks 'much more in need' to pawn the "Brown Rice Cutlets" off on...  Somebody help me out here but the last time I saw the word 'Cutlet' used on a menu it was immediately preceded by the word, 'Veal'.  Veal, of course, is a young cow forced to stay in a box up until the moment of slaughter.  If these heartless California Liberals are keeping Brown Rice (do I sense Racial Overtones here???  Hmm?) standing on end in a box, I'm gonna HURT somebody!!!  Nobody abuses RICE like this while I'm around!  Poor little brown babies all standing on end in a BOX in the DARK!!!  I'm angry I tell ya' - angry!)

The second-largest school district forces kids to eat 'healthy foods' (yes, this district is one of the ones which banned Chocolate and Strawberry Milks last year) and the kids?  The kids just say, "No," collectively, resoundly, and resolutely.

Now there's "Hope" I can believe it.

There's more, but once again, the time clock's dyin' to be punched, and after reading about how Rice is treated in California, I'm a guy in a punchin' mood.  I feel a Part III coming on, but for now, we end this post as the lights of a 1964 Chevrolet Impala drive into the distance as Tommy and Cheech attempt to rescue the boy from the 'Sticks and Twigs Lunch Wardens'...

Happy trails folks!