Friday, January 2, 2009

We Now Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Economic Downturn

Do you know the worst thing about waking up at 5:20am on a day when the kids don't have to go to school, you're wife's in FLORIDA on a band trip, and you didn't HAVE to be awake until 7:00am?

The worst thing is that you lay in bed hoping that you'll get back to sleep, but deep down, you know you never will.

Since I was up, I decided to... You guessed it, spend a few minutes on the Internet and do some reading. I was thinking this would relax me. Yeah, right...

I came across an article which put forth a most amazing proposition: "Can the Media Be Held Liable For the Worsening Economic Crisis?" You can find the article by clicking the link highlighted above.

According to a recent survey, most (77%) of Americans believe that: "The financial press is making the economic crisis worse by projecting fear into people's minds." And this belief is consistent across many 'socio-economic' backgrounds (see Mom, I did pay attention in college).

Attorney Richard L. Scheff, believes that, "Although statements by the media are protected by the First Amendment, the survey results demonstrate that the public believes that the press bears some responsibility for the lack of confidence in the economy."

I'm not sure of who exactly the "Financial Press" is... But they've been put on notice. No more tales of financial woe, economic collapse, runs on the bank (and you, Chuck Schumer, YOU keep your trap shut), bail-out fever (we've got to bail out _________ TODAY), etc...

You guys just be quiet and play nice or Richard L. Scheff in Pennsylvania is going to sue you, ALL of you, for ALL of us. And he's apparently, 'ticked'.

It's a new year. It will be a new administration soon enough. You professional (paid) 'news guys and gals'...

Get with the program and repeat after me:

"Everything's okay, we're seeing signs of a strengthening economy"

"Market indicators are UP" (feel free to exchange the phrase 'WAY UP' if you're feeling particularly giddy)

"Oil prices are down"

"The Big Three US Auto Makers are showing surprising signs of resiliency in this challenging market environment"

"The dollar is gaining strength against other international currencies"

"Consumers are re-gaining confidence in the economy every day"

"Congress continues to trim its budget as they move rapidly towards fiscal responsibility" (Okay, that last one is NEVER going to happen, but if you're going to make stuff up, might as well make them 'Whoppers')

Go ahead, now say it, print it, broadcast it, and believe it. Suck it up for the sake of America. Do the right thing. It's easy.

Just do it now... Okay?

You folks got the candidate you wanted elected, now let's build him up as thoroughly as you tore his predecessor, and his Presidential opponent down.

Now get going.

Seriously, not kidding.

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