Friday, January 9, 2009

You Got Me, Under Your Skin

It's one thing to be really 'cheesed-off' at someone. It's quite another thing to create a media circus to get back at your wife of fifteen years because she won't let you see the kids regularly.

Richard Batista, MD has sued his wife for custody. This by itself is NOT a new concept. It happens every day (sigh). The 'uniqueness' of this particular request is that Richard wants custody of his ex-wife's kidney.

Yup, you read that correctly: He WANTS his kidney back from his ex-wife. Turns out that in 2001 Doctor Batista was identified as a near-perfect match to be a donor for his wife who would die without a kidney transplant. She already had two unsuccessful transplants, but her hubby's kidney -- well, "Third time's the charm!"

What a wonderful story! The loving husband saves his wife's life by giving her part of his body... Oh, my, how... How magical!

Please excuse me while I have a few moments alone...




Gee, thanks...

Well, like every 'magical' Disney story, there has to be something else going on here, right? Something to add to the story-line perhaps? Consider Disney's uncomfortable penchant for KILLING the Mom or Dad within the first eight minutes of the film to add a little background 'color' to the story. Yes, there is more here too - much more.

According to the doctor, his wife took the kidney and cheated on him with it for several YEARS. Hold on, that's not quite right - she didn't 'cheat on him WITH the kidney' (that would be SICK).
What she did was she took the kidney with her while she was cheating on her husband with another 'spleen'. No, no, no, I mean she cheated on him with another man who HAD a spleen of his own.

According to Doctor Batista, his wife 'cheated on him for several years. All the while, Dawnell's husband's kidney was in her shouting, "No, no! Don't do it Dawnell! Be strong, listen to me, I am your husband's kidney! I am the lone voice of reason screaming in here! Don't do this or he'll take me back! Just ME, but not you!"

Dawnell did not listen to that distant, inner voice. She made 'bad choices' (allegedly). Now her husband wants his kidney back. To be more precise, he wants EITHER the kidney back or $1.5 Million in compensation (I'm assuming this is for pain and suffering of his organ).

Well enough of that, you can always find out what is really going on by following the money. It's a shame that the doctor had to attack her internal organs to get his fifteen minutes of fame. This story is all over the news today. When the news is over, we'll still have one un-happy guy, and one un-happy woman. Not really news at all, but Americans love a spectacle. And this one, well, it is most certainly a spectacle.

By way of comparison, all my wife ever wanted from me was an 'arm and a leg'. This explains why I type slowly and why, if I were an Oriental woman with one leg... I would be named, 'Irene'. (You'll need to think about that for a moment.) Send me a note if you don't get it...

Does the lawsuit have any chance of succeeding in court? According to legal experts (people in the break room)... No, no chance at all. But hey, that's what makes it fun. The doctor wants $1.5 Million from his ex-wife, bottom line.

In an un-related story Barack Obama wants us to let him spend another $700 Billion of our money for a stimulus package -- to, ah, give back to us. All things considered, I'd rather give him a kidney. Things keep going the way they are in government, I may end up selling my internal organs to pay this year's tax bills.

As for my other major internal organs, no one can have my heart - because it belongs to my wife... Whoa, another magical moment! Now I only have eight minutes to live...

I'd write more now but my leg stump is itching and it's on the same side as my missing arm. And, as stated in the prior paragraph, time is short. Very short...
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