Friday, December 5, 2008

Fun Holiday Craps! (Oops, I Meant 'Crafts')

Welcome to December!

Are you:
  • Looking for a 'one of a kind' craft project this Holiday Season?

  • Looking to do a little fundraising for a worthwhile organization?

  • Looking to work 'with your hands'?

Well, look no further! I have the ultimate 'crafty' experience for you! You'll need to drive a bit since it's in Illinois, but I can guarantee that these memories will last a lifetime. As an added bonus, it will be at least several weeks BEFORE you'll be able to get the smell off your hands!

A zoo in Bloomington, Illinois has begun to sell Christmas ornaments crafted by highly inventive, ingenious, and imaginative artisans. The ornaments are 'made' onsite and sculpted with care by these dedicated zoo folks. AND, completed ornaments sell for the ridiculously low price of $5.00! Can you imagine!?

For less than the cost of a pack of cigarettes in New York State, you too can own an ornament which represents the best that man, and reindeer, have to offer. Yes, in Bloomington, Illinois at the Miller Park Zoo, you can purchase Christmas Tree ornaments crafted from bits of twisted metal, and, ah, reindeer 'pooh'.

Yes, 'Ornamental Pooh'. Suitable for hanging!

I hope the Federal Government doesn't get down-wind of this money-maker! They'll want to use the proceeds from THEIR pooh sales to buy down that $820,000,000 'TARP' bail-out program. You know if THEY get involved, the price of 'Reindeer Pooh Art' (RPA) is going to go up. And like anything the government sinks its teeth in to, the cost associated with 'RPA' is going WAY up. (However, having written, and now re-read the prior statement, the idea of the Fed actually 'sinking its teeth into 'reindeer pooh' is an image which gives me HUGE joy this Holiday Season...)

Rudolph, the Pooh-Nosed Reindeer

Like MOST other things you'll find here, I'm not making any of this up. You can find complete, detailed reporting by clicking the following link: Reindeer Pooh

Could these guys really be selling 'poop' to raise money for the zoo? According to Zoo marketing director Susie Ohley, "Yes!" She has even named these products. The are "Magical Reindeer Gem Ornaments," AND each comes with a label of authenticity. (Yes, they authenticate that your Christmas 'ornament' contains 'feces'.)

Speaking only for myself, I'd like to know that stuff I buy does not contain 'poop'. I'll pay MORE if my ornaments do not include 'poop'. (I guess you can call me 'Old-fashioned'. Although... Do you know if there were any reindeer in the stable when Baby Jesus was born?)

My favorite line from the article: "Some folks are surprised at the size of the "gems," which are only about as big as marbles. "Reindeer are so big," zoo maintenance worker Sheldon Williams said. But the droppings are "just a big pile of small."

Yeah, that last quote pretty much sums up the entire post today... "just a big pile of small..."


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