Thursday, April 17, 2014

And Now an Easter Message from the Reverend Al Sharpton...

 
. "Hey kids, you smell that?" the man in the faded blue overalls asks the three kids walking at his side.
.
The boys next to the man each lift their heads to sniff the cold spring morning's air.  "I smell something, but what is it Dad?" the youngest asks.
.
"It's the smell of lunacy.  You'll want to hold your breath until we get past it..." the man says as he picks up speed.  "Hey, why don't we run for a while?"
.
Eight pounding feet can be heard stomping off into the distance as the scene changes from a bright April morning to a cramped radio studio where two men can be seen speaking into microphones...   

.
'Big Al' Sharpton stopped by to share his Easter message with Tom Joyner yesterday.  Typically when a devoutly religious man discusses Easter, the focus of the conversation has something to do with the life of Jesus, the message of his life, the sacrifice He made for us,  and his victory over death.
.
Did I mention that this particular 'devoutly religious man' was Al Sharpton?  Oh, yes I see that I did.  
.
This being said, let's join 'Reverend' Al Sharpton and Tom Joyner, already in progress...
.


.
From the Washington Times Online:  Joining the “Tom Joyner Morning Show,” Mr. Sharpton said that his message for this Easter is that “no matter what the world may do to you unfairly, no matter how you’re crucified — nailed to the cross at home, or in your personal relationships, or on the job — that you can rise if you don’t lose yourself during the hard times and the challenges.”.
The reverend went on to say that Christ endured so much humiliation and unearned suffering leading up to his death, “because he knew he could rise.”
.

Moos Note:  Yes, we should all PROBABLY STOP reading at this point, however, Big Al wasn't done.  He had more to say.  And gosh golly, we've got a few more seconds to listen, don't we?  It'd be impolite to leave now without listening to the Rev's Easter Message designed to inspire us all...
.
. 
“As I looked to President Obama at our convention last Friday, with all he took, he’s been able to rise politically again,” he concluded. 
.
“I’m not comparing him to Jesus, but I am saying that to every crucifixion there is a resurrection for those that believe.”
.
Yup, I'll just sit here quietly while you go ahead and digest that.
.
Another well-intentioned Progressive Liberal Democrat guy just compared President Obama to...  The 'Risen Christ'.  
.
Well, he DID kind-of-sort-of say this, just before he said that he wasn't, um, comparing Obama to, you know, the post-crucified... Christ.
.
I'll need to remember this uniquely progressive scholarly technique for future blog posts.  I can say something and then immediately tell people that it's NOT what I was saying
.
How about this?
.
.
"Hey, did you ever notice that the guy who plays the Devil in the History Channel series, "The Bible", looks a LOT like the President of the United States?  Hey, I'm not saying that the President of the United States IS the Devil, but if this is what the Devil looks like, then the President sure does look a lot like him.  I am  NOT saying the President of the United States is Satan Incarnate - that would be crazy talk..."
.
Yes, by all adopting the 'Reverend Al Defense' you can say whatever you want, just so long as you take it 'almost' immediately back.  It's the literary version of a mathematical equation where you put a '+' at one end of the equation and a '-' at the other end, netting the equation out to '0'. 
.
But here's the dirty little secret I learned in a Psychology class years ago:
..
Your mind cannot focus on the 'negative' of something.
.
Por exemplo:  'The Easter Bunny is not blue and pink.'
.
Your mind gleefully tosses out the negative, 'not' in the sentence and...
.
Quick, what color is the Easter Bunny?
.
.     

Don't even try to tell me that you didn't 'go there' with the bunny you had rattling around in your head...
.
It's simply the way humans are wired - we seek the positive, and we attempt to ignore the negative.  

.
So in the future, if you WANT to say something goofy while buying your own 'Get out of Jail Free' card, just toss a 'not' into the mix, follow up with a 'but' somewhere down the line and you'll be Free and Breezy to make whatever spooky crazy comment you like without fear of sustainable ridicule later on.  This I know for sure.
.
The only thing I don't for sure is WHY Barack Obama looks so much like Satan?  Not that he is the Devil of course, but he sure does look a lot like him...
.
Happy Easter folks, I'm spending some time with the Family so I'll be offline for a bit.
..
Enjoy your time with family.
 .
This weekend, let's just all get along, okay?
.
.


Post a Comment