Monday, February 6, 2012

Newer Dogs - Older Tricks...

The following post was updated most-recently on December 3, 2011 when the Unemployment Rate 

'Unexpectedly' fell to 8.5% after the economy had 'Unexpectedly' shed 315,000 workers out of the U.S. Workforce.

This past week the Bureau of Labor Statistics released the numbers for January. Once again the Unemployment Number fell 'Unexpectedly'. The most 'Unexpected' component of the most recent number is that an additional 1.2 MILLION U.S. Workers have 'Disappeared' from the U.S. Workforce.

  1. Are U.S. Workers REALLY disappearing at a rate of 38,710 per day?
  2. Are aliens AMONG U.S.?
  3. If folks falling 'out of the workforce' ARE, in fact, disappearing in bulk... why IS the unemployment rate still so HIGH???
All questions will be answered, but you'll need to re-think logic as you have always known it.

At the signpost up ahead, it's the Third-Edition of "America Loses Several Hundred Thousand Jobs" post. Good luck, you're going in.

p.s.: Wherever 315,000 'missing Americans' was mentioned in the earlier post, I have increased this number by a factor of 4 to support the most recently announced 1.2 MILLION missing American Worker figure quoted last week. 

(If all these people are gone... Can I have one of their cars???)

Heard around the Blogyard...  
Madison asks, "Psst, Bossie, have you seen Buttercup lately?"  

"Nah, I thought she was with YOU...", says Bossie.  

"That's weird, I found her stall empty and she didn't touch her dinner last night."  

"Maybe she's over with Ferdinand's "gettin' busy"?", asks Bossie.  

"Nah, that Ferdinand's a freak, hanging out under the cork tree all day. Buttercup says he makes her uncomfortable. That bull's so dang peaceful - you'd hardly think he was a bull. He's more like a Golden Retriever." Madison says.  

"With horns!", shouts Bossie.  

"It's a shame, the poor boy doesn't know how to use them." Madison laughs as she trots away. The blogyard fades away as today's post begins anew...  

Yes, it's true. Disappearances like the one above have taken place all across America during the past thirty days. Is anyone talking about it? NOOOOOOOOOO! And why not?  

It's a conspiracy man. An inter-galactic conspiracy of Biblical proportions!!!  
 (Obligatory Right-Wing Rant Section to make left-leaning readers feel more at home)  

Huh? How do I know that people are being sucked off the planet? The nice folks at the Bureau of Labor Statistics told me so, that's how. Yeah, they reported yesterday that 1,200,000 people were 'OUT' of the workforce. 

With fewer people 'IN' the workforce it means that the unemployment rate MUST go down. Right? Fewer people 'ready, willing, and able' to work makes YOUR employment opportunities that much better!!!  

Yeah, so what what happened to roughly 1.2 MILLION US Workers (since last month)?  

Two words for you: "Space-Alien Abduction"! (Joke, that's four words, if you, um, count the hyphen.) Yeah, could be, but the actual 'disappearing workers' thing from the BLS IS two words, the first word begins with 'Bull' and the second word ends with '__ __ it'.  
(Fill in your own blanks on this one.)  

From the Bloomberg article found online: U.S. Jobless Rate Unexpectedly Declines to 8.3% President Barack Obama said the drop in the jobless rate is a sign the recovery is getting stronger, and extending a cut in the payroll tax will provide more fuel for the economy. He went on to say, "Let me be clear, if we clap REALLY REALLY hard; the Fairies who control our Economy will be once again healthy enough to reduce our employment rate to 5.5% like it was when GW Bush left office."

While the last quote above is NOT, hmm, let's say 'factually attributable to the President', I do believe that President Obama believes in Fairies. 

Why? Because Fairies believe in President Obama. of course! Yes, the wee folk who flit from tree to tree spreading magical goodness across the land believe in President Barack Hussein Obama.  

Unfortunately, he lost the Minotaur vote yesterday when the Senate said 'Bestiality' was pretty much cool from a legislative perspective. And as we all know, Minotaurs have no use for, well, you know... "Hey buddy, get off my _ _ _!" 

No, the bestiality thing is not cool with minotaurs - at all. Mermaids, to date, have been relatively quiet on the subject of the President's re-election chances, but King Neptune is still really P/O'd about that Gulf spill from Earth Day, 2010. Yes, President Obama, you will receive NO Mermen votes in November of 2012 (outside of Illinois, of course. Dead Mermen (and others) vote Democratic up there).

So, the unemployment fantasy continues its onward trek towards November, 2012.  For the past six months I've heard that no President has ever been elected with an unemployment rate of greater than 8% and now, magically, improbably, and unexpectedly, the rate drops a full three-tenths of a percent to 8.3% because...  

1,200,000 People have disappeared from the work force. And, 243,000 Jobs were added (most, admittedly, from part time, seasonal employment according to the article quoted).  

Stunning, isn't it? Did you see THAT coming? Actually, I did. (Nana-nana-boo-boo!)  

I even wrote about how the Department of Bureau and Labor Statistics gets all 'jiggy' with numbers when it needs to. And, a long time ago, back in February 10, 2010 (this seems a REALLY long time ago when measured in "Obama Years" I wrote...  

When the most recent unemployment rate was announced (dropping the Unemployment from 9.4% to 9.0% with VIRTUALLY no job growth) you may have wondered, "How could this BE? How could the economy not add jobs but the unemployment rate went DOWN???"

Well, it's a 'Math Thing' again. It works like this:  

EXAMPLE A: If you have 900 people employed, your unemployment rate is 10%.  

EXAMPLE B: Now assume that the number of 'total jobs' available DROPS to 925. If you have 850 people employed, your unemployment rate is 8.1% So, even though you have FEWER people working, your unemployment rate goes DOWN.

This, and the following, accounts for our most recent reduction in the percentage of unemployed. Confused yet? Oh, you will be... Trust me... You can read it in its entirety by clicking HERE.  

But after all, today is a Monday, and reading this fact-based series of Mathematical exercises will only make you sad. Upon reading, you'll learn that everything in Washington in a shell game.  
And in DC... They hold your nuts in their hands. Turn your head and cough.

It's all you can do until November 2012. THEN, the nuts will be in your hands, won't they?  

Oh yes, they will, and get ready to squeeze them hard. As we wrap today's exchange, I want to confirm that no Minotaurs were injured in the generation of today's post.  

However, this woman? She's in BIG trouble...

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