Friday, February 3, 2012

A Joke. A Gag. An Ignorant Hag.

"The Joke"

"The Gag"
Two morons were walking along railroad tracks in Northern Pennsylvania.  After a while of walking and enjoying the sights they came to a train trestle spanning a large river.  "You think we should try to cross this here river?" Moron One asks. 

"Well, if we don't cross this river, then we ain't going to get where want to get to..." says Moron Two. 

"Yup, I'm guessin' that's about right," responds Moron One.  "We'd better get started then.  Just be careful whilst we're crossing over this river - it looks deep and fast-moving."

So the morons begin their trek across the train trestle to get to the other side.  Half-way across Moron Two totters towards the right-hand side of the track.  "Look out, you could fall!" shouts Moron One.

Surely enough, Moron Two flails his hands to the sky and falls off the trestle into the dark, fast-moving river below.

Moron One looks at the water rushing below him, shrugs, and continues walking alone to the other side.  

Question:  WHY did this happen?

Answer:  Because One Moron was a little more-on than the other.

(Smooth segue coming...)

"The Ignorant Hag"
Q:  How much money would you have charged to
complete that left-leg flower tattoo???
A:  Ain't enough money in the world...

Ah, yes, time for the important news about Presidential Politics and the FIRST real challenge to President Obama...

While Republican Presidential Candidates bludgeon each other in public, a bold figure, an epic leader, and a woman who slept with John Goodman for multiple seasons - steps forward to take her rightful place in history!!!

According to the Associated Press:  WASHINGTON (AP) — Roseanne Barr said Thursday she's running for the Green Party's presidential nomination — and it's no joke.

The actress-comedian said in a statement that she's a longtime supporter of the party and looks forward to working with people who share her values. She said the two major parties aren't serving the American people.

"The Democrats and Republicans have proven that they are servants -- bought and paid for by the 1 percent -- who are not doing what's in the best interest of the American people," Barr said.

Occupy Wall Street protesters popularized the "We are the 99 percent" slogan in their fight against economic disparity and perceived corporate greed.
Barr said she has been fighting for working-class families and women for decades.

"I will barnstorm American living rooms," she said in a candidate questionnaire submitted to the Green Party. "Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election."

Barr's hit TV sitcom "Roseanne" aired from 1988 to 1997 and earned her an Emmy and a Golden Globe. She played a wise-cracking mom in the comedy about a blue-collar family. Barr has a 46-acre macadamia nut farm in Hawaii. 

(Moos Note:  Please pay particular attention to this last line - Yes, she owns a 46-acre 'nut' farm in Hawaii.  Yet one more reason I pray nightly for the Earth's Mantle to shift swallowing these sugar-cane-and-pineapple-laden islands back to the watery deep from where they rose.  Nothing GOOD ever came from Hawaii...)

But wait, what's this???  You don't believe that Roseanne Barr is qualified to be President of the United States?!?!? 

How dare you (sir or madame)!!!

Just take a moment to review a few of the insightful fact-filled posts on RoseAnne's official blog, RoseanneWorld:  (And no.  I'm not making ANY of these up...)

9-11 firefighters for truth:  "Cheney pulled it- and the building was demolished-it had been wired before 911--so that House of Bush and Cheney's Haliburton could use and hide behind the horror to erase their financial crimes-ie-that they used taxpayer money to build Dubai-the international center of the Child Sex Slave Trade. there you have it. Pedos at the top=Satan."

war against females: china will deserve what it gets:  "too many males--and all that entails-"

brilliant analysis, Jon Gold:  "PLEASE READ THIS!"  (A deliciously detailed delusion of the 911 Conspiracy)

army corps of engineers' negligence caused the damage of Katrina (organized genocide?):

Us judges sell children for money:

heritage foundation : pro rape and pedophiles:  "  The right wing are predators and talibangelists, who can't muster even a distant feeling of empathy for any living man woman or child unless they can use it as an excuse to go to war and kill."

911-er writes me:  "Sick of these over educated white men talking about nothing.
RW WORLD RESPONSE: I "HERE" YOU! TOO MUCH EDUCATION IS BAD! 9-11ers are against the wrong people it seems! Attack the right, not the left! Are 9-11ers counter intelligence operatives?"

With this 'arse'-anal of ammunition at her disposal during a debate between herself, the President, and the Republican Nominee...  I'm thinking that President Obama will lose about 60% of his base.

Run Roseanne.  Run... 

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Post a Comment