Thursday, July 14, 2011

Give Peas a Chance...

"Ev'rybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism
Isn't it the most
All we are saying is give peas a chance
All we are saying is give peas a chance..."
  -- John Lennon, "Give Peace a Chance
        (With minor modification to the lyrics and a large apology to Mr. Lennon) 

From the Telegraph online:  President Obama raised the stakes on negotiations to raise the United States government's $14.3 trillion debt ceiling by declaring he would not accept any stopgap measures involving a short-term increase in the borrowing limit.

"That is not an acceptable approach," he said at a press conference before talks resumed. "So we might as well do it now. Pull off the bandaid. Eat our peas.  Now is the time to do it. If not now, when?"

Okay, for those of you who have been around for a while, you know that I spent last week at Tuscarora Boy Scout camp with our local Boy Scout Troop.  What you may NOT know is that not once during the week spent at camp were we able to 'Eat our peas' as they were not on the dining hall menu. 

I suppose that we could have 'Brought our own peas',  'Grown our own peas', or 'Special-Ordered our peas', but in hindsight, I never thought much about it.  I figured I'd just eat whatever was slapped on my tray.  Yes, I pretty much eat whatever gets tossed in front of me (with the exception of anything with EYES still attached).  Anything that's looking back at me while I'm eating it - no, that's the line I will NEVER cross. 

  • Whole shrimp 
  • Crawfish
  • Broiled whole snapper
  • Lobster

Nope, I just can't bring myself to do any of the above. 

If I'm eating something it will NOT be looking at me as my canine's tear into it's soft white underbelly. 

(INTERESTING, YET POINTLESS FACTOID!:  The original name of the band, "Blue Oyster Cult" was, in fact, "Soft White Underbelly"!  Although, the song 'Don't Fear the Reaper' by "Soft White Underbelly" would sound completely STUPID, so I'm quite glad that they changed their name to something fearsomely awesome like "Blue Oyster Cult"!  Yeah, rock on - it's a CULT!  And they like oysters - which are blue...  And, oh, never mind...)

NOTE TO SELF:  Figure out why 'fishy creatures' are served 'mostly intact'.  Then, pass legislation which prohibits their appearance on menus in public restaurants which I might happen to frequent.  Add anything on the '1/2 Shell' to the list as well as they look like they just shot out of a TB-Ward and onto your plate...  NOTE TO SELF ENDS

So President Obama has decided that it's time for US to 'Eat our peas'?  Okay.  Sure, bring them on, I love me some peas!  Fresh peas snapped fresh from the pod, either raw, or boiled in water then dashed into a bowl of ice water to keep 'em nice and firm while still a healthy 'flourescent' green?  Yumm-O!

The thing of it is, why does the President make 'Eating our peas' seem like a BAD thing?  Does he not LIKE peas?  Was he accosted by a pea at an early age?  Do Democrats not eat peas?  Does the man not eat peas due to an obscure religious prohibition? 

I guess in general that there are folks who do not like peas so much, but that's probably because they were spoiled as children and were able to eat whatever they wanted (just as long as their wife was not nearby).

A completely pea-less meal. 
(Well maybe after slushing down that 32 oz. beverage? 
THEN the pea will come!!!  Mark my words there won't be a dry seat
at the Philly CheeseSteak House tonight!)
Here's the thing:  If someone's going to be getting all 'condescending' on me, I'd like them (the 'Dad' figure) to be articulate enough to make me feel guilty about whatever I did, or did not do, very SPECIFICALLY

I guess it's hard to be 'less than obtuse' when you're the smartest guy in the room.  If you're THAT smart, no one else knows what the heck you're talking about.  Unless, of course, you happen to be in room surrounded by Golden Retrievers.  In this case, THEY understand what you meant to say, but the rest of us?  We're still 'lost as last year's Easter Eggs... 

So I guess it comes down to this:  Does President Obama dislike peas THAT MUCH, or is he trying to sound like, well, you know, our 'Dad'? 

Typical Dad-isms:  "You'd better clean your plate because there are starving kids in China!", or, "Your Mother worked hard to cook, um, whatever THAT is, you'd better darn well eat it!  Unfortunately, I ATE on the way home when Mom told me what we were having so YOU need to eat MINE also!!!  Now get busy!!!"  

In the above 'pea' example, I'm assuming that President Obama wants me to eat a round green vegetable - which is easy, because I already eat peas.  Like sure, no big deal.  

Now, if he wants me to eat something with eyes (like potatoes!  Eww, SHUDDER!) or eyes hanging out of the critter's head on 'stalks', well, we've got a problem again (see 'Eye-Inclusive Foods' listed above). 

As for the President and Mrs. Obama, I think they'd better stop telling us what to eat because it all comes to the same.  They are forever telling us to eat, well, pretty much whatever they want US to eat. 

And I'm tired of the crap they've been serving out of the White House for the past couple of years.  I'll eat what I want - when I want. 

You won't find me on the 'Pea Line' accepting hand-outs from President Obama... 
"All you people - eat your peas!"
I'm a big boy.  My Mom told me to eat my veggies and such.  I don't need the President getting all "Jolly Green Giant-y" on me.  
Oh, and another thing - he'd better keep his hands off my Band-Aid.  Like I said, I was at Camp all last week and I know that it heals better 'When it's covered longer'.   
Lastly, someone came up with the 'Give Peas a Chance' schtick years ago...   Long-time before I thought of it.  That's why I'm always honest with you - because if I'm not, I'm gonna get caught.  And I'm already sporting a Band-Aid - don't want any more... 

You don't have to trust the Feds, but you can always trust your friendly neighborhood Cow Guy:
Would I lie to you???

Nah.  I mind my Peas and my Queues!

Yeah, it's the American Way (now).
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