"It's Groovy Baby - Yeah!"



Cheers Baby...  Yeah!

I began writing this post early Monday morning prior to the whole 'Weiner Thing'.  Yes, all things considered, I thought that a post about our economy and the stellar accomplishments of the Obama Administration was preferable to yet another post about an idiot 'Member' of Congress.  (I thank you!)

But this what happens most days, I head off in one direction, life intervenes, and I get spun off in another direction.

We now re-join yesterday's post, already in progress...

This past weekend, Austan Goolsbee appeared on network television to try to explain away last week's dismal jobs report.  So, how'd he do?

This morning (a.k.a.:  Tuesday, June 7, 2011) President Obama's Chairman of Economic Advisers, Goolsbee, announced that he is resigning his post to return to teaching at the University of Chicago.

Oops.  

Hmm, I'm reminded of not one, but TWO jokes...

Inappropriate joke section begins!

"So Mrs. Lincoln, how was the REST of the play?", or,

"Mrs. Lincoln, would you like a table, or a Booth?" 

Inappropriate jokes ends!

So what did Austan Goolsbee say which did not amuse his boss? 

From the Huffington Post:  "Don't bank too much of any one month's jobs report," Goolsbee told Christian Amanpour on her Sunday program The Week. "You want to look at a little bit of a trend to get a more accurate barometer."

Government stimulus might have been essential to preventing the country from sinking into another Great Depression, Goolsbee says, but it's the private sector that must pull the country up. "Our effort now as a government should be to get the private sector, to help them stand up, lead the recovery," he said. "Government is not the central driver of recovery."

Hey, wha' the???  Did Austan Goolsbee 'dis' his boss' policies on ABC television?  Did he discover the 'Private Sector'? 

Yes, I believe he did. 

I located the transcript of the ABC's 'This Week' online.  Here's an interesting segment which hasn't gotten much / any coverage: 

AMANPOUR: Are you concerned that Moody's is saying that it may look at downgrading if certain benchmarks aren't met?

GOOLSBEE: Look, I think what Moody said is, you have to pay your bills, and if you don't pay your bills, there are going to be consequences. And I think everybody agrees with that.

Now, I'm relatively optimistic that -- because you've seen leaders on both sides of the aisle saying they don't want to push this all the way right up to the -- to the edge of the -- of Treasury's authority of what can be done. This is not an alarm clock. It would be extremely dangerous to get right up to the edge or -- you've seen some people even saying, well, it'd be OK if we defaulted for a short period.

That's not true; we shouldn't do that. We should resolve this over the next month.

AMANPOUR: Austan Goolsbee, thank you very much, indeed, for joining me.

The light on the LCD screen flickers, the sound fades, and Austan Goolsbee will be gone from the Obama Administration within a month so if there is a resolution - it's will not be his. 

He's off to the University of Chicago to teach more academics... 

To be just like him.  [SHUDDER]


I took a little trip to my favorite 'Happy Place'. 

McDonalds'?  No. 
Wally World?  No. 
WalMart?  No, not likely.  (Seriously, have you ever BEEN to WalMart?)

Okay, quit guessing!  I went to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics site to check out Unemployment Stats for the past couple of years.  Austan said the decrease in the number of jobs was merely a 'Bump in the road' to recovery, so I wanted to look for myself.  Boy, I hope they have a chart (which is a clickable link to the site itself!). 

Oh look, here it is now!!!

Unemployment between May of 2009 and May of 2011 averages between 9.5% for most of the two year period.  It begins to edge down in November 2010.  I went looking to see if I could come up with a reason that President Obama's Economic Policies began to 'Kick In' in November 2010, but all I could find in 'Chart 1' was the following... 

The Democrats in the House of Representatives had their political 'heads' handed to them in the mid-term elections.  Perhaps business owners believed for a brief period that 'Hope and Change' had actually arrived in Washington?  Yeah, that's my theory anyway.

But then, 'Stuff' happened:  The Debt Ceiling Stalemate(s), Boehner Caves, Gas prices begin their ascent, and Washington, DC goes back to doing what it does best - not doing much of anything useful.

Lacking leadership from the President on the budget and the inability of Republicans to pass veto-proof legislation and budgets through Congress - America begins to settle back to where we have been for the past two years... 

'Malaiseville, USA'. 

The ONE guy who did okay?

Austan Goolsbee

He leaves the Obama Adminstration with his head held high knowing that he'll get his old job back at the University. 

One more job 'created or saved' by the Obama Administration.  

Groovy Baby, yeah!  Oh behave, Austan!

 

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Weiner Too?

Can you believe the man was married?  To HER???

On behalf of all men, I'd like to personally thank Congressman Anthony Weiner, -D, NY, for once again proving that "Men are idiots" and Powerful Men are "Powerfully idiotic". 

It's not like there wasn't enough factual documentation on this particular mental illness ALREADY. 

Think about it...

• Billy Bob Thornton cheated on Angelina Jolie (yeah, like he's going to do better than HER in the future)
• Arnold cheated on Maria (a KENNEDY for goodness sake - I thought only KENNEDY's cheated on 'non-Kennedys')
• James Cameron cheated on his first wife, Sharon Williams (she was NOT the inspiration behind his first major film, 'Terminator').  Although, I believe that he went on to marry Linda Hamilton, (a.k.a.:  Sarah Connor) following their time together filming Terminator 2 - this cost him roughly $50 Million when they split...
• FDR cheated on Eleanor Roosevelt with Eleanor's Social Secretary, Lucy Mercer - that bit of mischief went on for 30 years!  How could anyone cheat on a woman as beautiful as Eleanor Roosevelt?
• Donald Trump cheated on his beautiful wife, Ivana, only to marry his mistress, Marla Maples (for a while), divorce her, and then marry his third wife, um, what's her name...
• Bill Clinton allegedly cheated (depending upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is) on his fabulous wife, Hillary on several occassions.  Several times, which, of course, no one can prove... 

And now we have Anthony Weiner -D, NY.

Just another man so obsessed with his own 'selfness' that nothing matters to him but the sound of his own whining voice, the battery indicator on his 'Smart Phone', his very own "Weiner Bits", and his total AWESOMENESS to the opposite sex... 

Ladies, you want some of this, don't 'cha???

Just another power-hungry politician who wants to tell you how to live while he exhibits the self-restraint of a long-term alchololic left unsupervised overnight at the Jack Daniels' distillery. 

He wants you to turn over your health care decision-making to the Federal Government because 'HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED'... 

He wants you to raise the debt-ceiling for him so that he'll be able to continue to buy the very important things that your country needs to be successful.  Yes, 'HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED'.

And for the 51% of the population out there reading this who do NOT have a Winkie of your own... 

Anthony Weiner - yes, once again, 'HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED'. 

And he's willing to send it to you electronically...

"Hey Anthony, is that a Weiner in your boxer briefs
or are you just happy to see...  Yourself?"

As for me, I need to go wash up before I go to bed.

And yes, I'll be rubbing full-strength liquid antibacterial soap into my eyes to get the above photo out of my mind... 

Have a nice night folks - and just remember that Anthony Weiner -D, NY will not resign because, 'HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED'. 

Apparently, this means MORE of HIM. 

Oh, and I hear there are more photos - and here I've just used up all of my antibacterial soap...

Next up, Soft Scrub with Bleach for those hard to remove retinal impressions! 

Shuttle Diplomacy

Space Shuttle Endeavour returned to Earth yesterday, piloted by Mark Kelly, husband of Gabriel Giffords. 

Unfortunately, President Obama, his wife, their children, and several un-identified NASA workers were crushed yesterday as the Shuttle un-expectedly landed on them while they toured Kennedy Space Center.  

Thus far no linkage has been made to the catastrophic event and recent funding cut-backs at NASA.   

When asked about this developing national tragedy, Joe Biden responded to surprised reporters by breaking into song.  Even more surprising is that he sounded, by all accounts, 'Pretty good'. 


President Biden was quick to point out to the gathered reporters that, "Yes, one more job created, or saved by this Administration...  And it's MINE!  All MINE!"

More details will be released as soon as they are available...

Driven

A few months ago, I wrote a post called, "The CBO is Driven".  The subject of that post involved a CBO recommendation that the Federal Government begin monitoring the miles you drive in an effort to increase revenue available for highway construction, improvements, and those bright orange vests for men 'not working' to wear as they stare at you as you attempt to drive by.

Here's where it gets interesting:  

Check out the following headline from 2009...

  


Fast forward to May, 2011 and...

"This is not an administration proposal," White House spokeswoman Jennifer Psaki said.  "This is not a bill supported by the administration."  

Okay, so why do they keep talking about it? 

Maybe this is government's 'New Car' conversation I sometimes have with my wife: 

"You know, if I had a 'newer' car, we could save a lot of money on repairs, I'd get better gas mileage, and I'd have a much more reliable vehicle so I can make calls to my customers.  Maybe in another car the air conditioning would work?"  I have this part of the conversation committed to memory and it never varies much...

"Ah yes, but unless you find a 'FREE newer car' we can't afford it.  And why would you need air conditioning in a car in New York State?  We're in the place furthestmost from the sun.  Weren't you the one who told me that we have nine really excellent months for snowmobiling and three 'not quite as good'?" She asks.

"So, you're saying I can get a snowmobile?"  I ask, slightly more optimistically.  "It'd be cold, but at least I can get up this dang hill we live on in the winter."

"'Sure you can get a snowmobile!  Right after you get that new car you keep yammering about."

"But you just said, umm, I couldn't get the car," I protest.

"That's right.  You cannot now get a new, or even a 'newer' car."

"But why?" I ask, almost pleading.

"Because the economy stinks, neither of us knows for sure if we're going to have jobs in six months, and we've got kids to put through college." She says.

"Will I ever be able to get a new car?"

"No.  This does not mean, however, that you are not loved.  Instead, it means that the Universe wants you in that Chrysler Cirrus for 'a long time'.  Who are we to argue with the Universe?"  She says. 

"Well, I guess if it's up the Universe and all, I guess I could go another year in the Chrysler, huh?" 

"No.  The Universe is thinking more like another 24 months."

"The Universe is stupid", I say as I walk back out to the driveway to polish the rust on the hood of the Cirrus.      

"Oh no, the Universe is not stupid - we're just not smart enough to understand what it wants from us."  My wife utters this last comment down to me through the open Living Room window.  Then the 'Cooking Channel' turns on as I begin the process of 'buffing rust' for the umpteenth time...

"Stupid Universe."

From far above a voice whispers in response, "Stupid man".  It may be my wife taunting me from upstairs, but if it's the Universe, I figure I'd better keep my trap shut.  You can't mess with the Universe.  You can't mess with your spouse.  And you sure 'as heck' had better not mess with lany logic coming out of your government. 

Okay, so the preceding has nothing to do with the CBO, Congress, any actual conversation I had with my wife, but it did provide a useful distraction so I could better position the following logic with you...

LOGIC ALERT!!!

1. The Federal Government created the Cash for Clunkers! program to get you out of your lower MPG vehicles in an effort lower our collective national fossil fuel useage.  They PAID a lot of people, on average, $4,209, to have their existing vehicle DESTROYED by the car dealership at the behest of the US Congress.
2. The Federal Government has set CAFE standards requiring that an Automobile Manufacturer's average vehicle MPG increase from its current 27.5 MPG to 34.1 MPG in 2016.
3. The Federal Government's Tax Code provides incentives for consumers to buy Hybrid, Clean Diesel, Electric vehicles, and other alternatively-powered vehicles which get better fuel economy.  They PAY consumers to buy certain types of vehicles which use less fuel. 
4. A side benefit to the Clunkers program (in addition to those promised 'incredible fuel use reductions') was to drive Americans en masse to GM, Chrysler and Ford to prop up the 'Big Three' automakers while 66% of them were taking BILLIONS of dollars in government-backed loans to keep the lights on. 

The end result, by the numbers?

How do you like the logic so far?

Because the US Government has 'meddled' in the automotive marketplace by:

• Providing incentives for you to purchase more fuel-efficient cars, vans, trucks, and SUVs
• Dictating higher CAFE Standards required for an automobile manufacturer to be 'allowed' to sell in the United States
• Using the IRS Tax Code to influence your behavior

Tax revenues are down because...

a.)  YOU bought a more fuel-efficient vehicle (Seriously, what were YOU thinking?)

Or perhaps, since fuel prices are $1.00 per gallon on average over what they were one year ago...

b.)  YOU are driving less (If paying taxes is Patriotic (according to Joe Biden) YOU are not patriotic enough -- drive baby, drive!)  

In either scenario, you are not paying enough in Fuel Taxes to meet the needs of your government's cash flow 'issues' relating to highway maintenance. 

In the end, YOU are the problem.  The people who asked you to NOT drive so much - No, they are not the problem.  It's all YOU.   

The solution from the government which set this chain of events into motion? 

Find, Create, or Save 'other' taxes.

Now US Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood is looking for additional sources of revenue because... 

The government has aggressively taken action to reduce the amount of revenue that they collect.

LOGIC ALERT ENDS!!!

Yes, you did what you were told. 

You drove less, you traded in your Mack Daddy big honkin' SUV for a Toyota Prius, and you drive less because, well, it costs a lot MORE to drive somewhere today than it did one year ago. 

Now the government thinks that it would be just great for you to install a GPS system in your vehicle to track your mileage in an effort to pay your 'Fair Share' of highway use. Because in the end, there's a solution for every revenue shortfall.

There's (always) YOU.  The American 'CarDrivin' TaxPayer!

Oh, and there's one more thing.  (Seems like there's always 'one more thing' lately, doesn't it?)

Could it be that the incursion into your private automobile is just one more step on the trail to changing how you live? 

If I were a consipiracy guy, I might think that it has something to do with an overall Declaration of War against the automobile.  With your private automobile you are (at least today) able to go where you want, when you want.  It's your call.  

But what if someone wanted to take those pesky decisions away from you?

What if...  Obama seeks billions more for LaHood's war against cars

High speed rail baby!  Dig it...

Or else. 

Coming soon to a transportation center by you!  Ready or Not, here it comes...

President Obama, Joe Biden, and US Transportation Head Ray LaHood
"Yeah, you could say we know what's best for you..."

Oh boy...