Sunday, May 5, 2013

Have It Your Way


"Hold the pickles hold the lettuce, special orders (people) don't upset us - all we ask is that you have it your way..." 

-- The "King's" Jingle, 1973

This just in from the California "Weird Watch" Department (a.k.a.: 'Dan Joseph')...

California Bill Would Allow Students to Use Bathrooms 'Consistent with His or Her Gender Identity'
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A proposed law introduced in the California State legislature would allow public  school children to use bathrooms designated for members of the opposite sex, if that students' "gender identity" differed from the students biological sex.
 
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Assembly Bill 1266, introduced by Democratic Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, who represents a section of the city of San Francisco would:
 
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"...require that a pupil be permitted to participate in sex-segregated school programs and activities, including athletic teams and competitions, and use facilities consistent with his or her gender identity, irrespective of the gender listed on the pupil's record..."
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Bottom line?  Whether you're a 'urinal-dampening' knuckle dragger of a boy or a prim and proper female 'setter' in the California school system, that 'Boy' and 'Girl' blaze on the front door of the water closet may become 'Gender Non-Specific' in the near future.  

Roughly stated, the Bill referenced above will assume that no one in any school in the State of California... 
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Has any balls (Well, if you do, you can't discuss them). 
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Given past legislation coming from this particular State - is there anyone NOT surprised by this recent swipe at 'Basic Biologics'?  According to open-minded Progressive Politicians, we are ALL equal in ways God (or Nature, if you prefer) never intended.
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For example (or, if you're reading this in California, "Por ejemplo"):  
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If a young man believes 'deep down' he is female (in spite any offensive 'outward plumbing'), he will be able to use the nearest 'Girls Room' at his local California public (and private school also, since there is no exclusion in the Bill as written).  "Hello ladies, yeah, I'm feeling sensitive today, what are you girls up to?  Hey, where's the urinal???"
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If a young girl is feeling particularly manly - no problem.  Merely pop into the nearest 'Boys' room and see what they've been missing all these years.  "Hey, what is MY name doing on the inside of this stall wall?  And THAT's NOT TRUE!  I didn't do that..." 
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The Bill also provides a guaranteed pathway for Boys AND Girls to try out for the 'opposite sexes' sports teams in schools - if it's what they FEEL like doing. 

Yes, I've always wanted to be the 6' 1" guy going out for...  Girls Field Hockey. 

If that doesn't get me beat up in the Boy's rest room (by a bunch of girls) after the game - nothing will. 

Then, being really good sports as they are, the guys in the Girl's bath room will beat the snot out of me because they snuck into the girl's bathroom to catch a glimpse of pink Underoos under the stall door, and all they see is me coming in wearing my green field hockey jumper (that 'skirt-looking thing') as I attempt to staunch the flow of blood from my recently-field-hockey-stick-broken nose.
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Will this Bill become Law?  Sure, why not?  It's C-a-l-i-f-o-r-n-i-a, the great social experiment playground of the United States America (although New York is a solid Number 2 contender). 
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In the eyes of Progressive Politicians we are all the same (unless the aformentioned Politician is pandering to a specific group for votes in which case we are EACH completely unique, with specific needs and tailored legislation designed to get our group's vote).
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Our Nation's leaders once valued the elements of our lives which bound us together as a united People.  Now they focus on those particular aspects of our lives which make us each 'different'.  We should celebrate our own uniqueness - as opposed to legislating it in an effort to make us all the same.

The end result is that our nation becomes further fractured - people no longer see themselves as Americans but rather (as in this instance) "Non-Gender-Specific-Americans". 

I so hate 'Hyphens' associated with the word 'Americans'.
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And another thing...

As some of you already know, I work with my son's High School Marching Band as a parent volunteer.  While supporting this group, hard as it is to believe, I have the need from time to time to...  Urinate. 
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Yes, I wrote it 'out loud'.  Sometimes even I... have to pee. 

And as a frequent visitor (yes, I'm over 50) to the Boy's Room of my local high school, I want neither the excitement, nor the lawsuit associated with a 15-year old girl walking in while I'm doing my 'business' and the potential for the girl to claim that I was looking at her...  "Funny".
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Because IF a 15-year old girl walks in on me... I will be looking at her funny because:
SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE BOY'S BATHROOM WHILE I'M PEEING. 

Sorry, I apologize, I didn't mean to shout.
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Our Nation is great because of our similarities.  Celebrate the things we have in common and live your life as you feel appropriate in your own home.  But folks, can we please leave a single bastion of refuge for guys to go to when they want to 'go'?
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The bathroom is a place of sanctuary for men / boys, and should NOT be a place of political correctness / experimentation.  Leave us alone and let us keep our bathroom business to ourselves.
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Wherever you be, let your pee be free!
(from the wandering eyes of the 'gender / species -non-specifics').
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Really, is this too much to ask from our government?
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Once upon a time I would have said, 'No'.  But we have progressed since then - the World has moved on.
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Some days I miss the World I grew up in more than others.
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Today, of course, is one of those days.

 
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