Signs Of Life

Do the people who write this stuff ever go back and read it again once they are done?:

I was following a truck this morning heading north on I-95. There was a huge orange sign on the back of the truck that said “Construction Vehicle – Do Not Follow”. So I turned around and went back to the office.

I had the opportunity to open a toilet paper 6-pack earlier today on which the following words appeared: “Facial Quality”. Butt I didn’t need to wipe my face…

While showering this morning I took time to read the shampoo bottle. Under instructions, it said, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat”. I’m still in the shower and the laptop’s getting wet, what happens next?

Q-Tip Box includes the following instruction: "Do not use in ear canal" What ELSE are they good for -- Teeny-tiny Tiki Torches?

Oh, and on a "Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush" I came across in our bathroom, I found the following verbiage: "Do not use for personal hygiene" Anyone ever see the size of that ' Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush'? What part of your body WOULD you clean with it?

I ordered a 'Southern Style Chicken Sandwich' today at McDonalds. (If you've ever eaten at Chick-Fil-A, you know what they are trying to do -- but naaah, not even close.) I read the back of the little purple and white cardboard casket that my sandwich came in and found the following note: "Made with a minimum 46% post-consumer recycled content" Super, now they're wrapping my lunch in someone else's garbage. Thanks Scary Clown, now I'll tell everyone that the "You Want Flies With That?" blog was about YOU. That's right, your name is on the street -- let's see how long you survive after these two MAJOR scandals?

And, when I ordered the $1.00 hot fudge sundae to wash down my trash-encased sandwich I was relieved to see that the peanuts (that I asked NOT to get) also had a warning: "Allergen Information: May contain tree nuts" So was I 'nuts' for not running screaming out of the building? Lacking that little tidbit of information, how could I have possibly known that my peanuts might have been hanging out with the 'wrong type' of nuts?

I washed my car this weekend and had to open a new bottle of Meguire's Crystal Car Wash. I twisted off the cap on top of the jug and found an inside foil seal labeled: "Sealed for your protection". What are they protecting me from, washing my car?

That's it for now. The "Do Not Follow" sign got me thinking... If you've seen any 'spooky' verbiage out there, send it in as a 'Comment'.

It's FUN, it's EASY, and best of all, it's FREE. (For a limited time only. Actual comment cost may be affected by dealer's contribution and your credit rating, no money down, and EZ monthly payments required, 12,000 characters included in the base comment lease and .32 per character for every character over the 12,000 during calendar period. Remember to always read the FINE PRINT -- it's there for someone's protection (yeah, not yours))...