Sunday, March 24, 2013

ObamaCare Turns 3


You say it's your birthday
 It's my birthday too, yeah
 They say it's your birthday
 We're gonna have a good time
 I'm glad it's your birthday
 Happy birthday to you.
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Yes we're going to a party party
 Yes we're going to a party party
 Yes we're going to a party party

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"Birthday" Lyrics courtesy of The Beatles
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"ObamaCare" courtesy of, well, you know...
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Image Source:  ThinkProgress.org

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It seems just like yesterday that ObamaCare was shoved down our collective National gullet.  Nancy Pelosi, then-Speaker-Of-The-House, told Congress that they must, "Pass the Bill to see what's in the Bill", and Congress...  Obliged. 
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The 2,200+ page Bill (which no one read in its entirety) was signed into law three years ago (give or take one day) today.
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Major aspects of the Affordable Health Care Act (a.k.a.:  ObamaCare) do not go into effect until 2014, but the very-long-and-winding-Bill (subliminal Beatles's reference) signed into Law three years ago has not been idle.  This malignant bit of legislation has been very, very busy doing what progressive legislation does - multiplying.
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As referenced above, the original 'Bill' was 'North of' 2,200 pages in scope. 
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As I type this on March 23rd, 2013 the three-year-old version of the Law is a 'bit' lengthier with over 18,000 pages of regulations.  
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While the original Bill was less than two feet tall when birthed, the "New-and-Improved" Law is roughly Six Feet, Seven Inches tall. 
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How do we know this?  Because Mitch McConnell printed out all the regulations included in the Law, stacked them up in his office, wrapped them with a bow, and took a photo of them. 
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You'll find this photo here...
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Story:  WashingtonExaminer
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Personally, I prefer that Mitch McConnell not spend so much time 'Wrapping' this legislation, as he should spend more time attempting to gut it, but hey, that's just me.  And, if he's looking to tie the 'Empty Chair' thing back to the Clint Eastwood's speech at the Convention, well, Mr. McConnell, sorry, but that ship sailed a while ago. 
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You, I, and we, um, what's the word?  Oh, that's right, we LOST.    
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More than four years after setting sail we find our Nation still adrift, bobbing on the U.S.S. ObamaNation, looking for direction, looking for propulsion, looking for a Skipper, and finding ourselves gazing longingly at the ObamaNation's Lifeboats - only to find that the majority of their fragile hulls have been eaten through by Progressive Metal-Eating Carpenter Ants. 
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While the U.S.S. ObamaNation remains the "Love Boat" for some Progressive folks...
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The Love Boat for some...
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The Tiger-Laden Lifeboat for others...
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For most of the last four plus years, I've felt like that kid in the "Life of Pi" film - adrift in a lifeboat.  His family has their futures stolen from them, he sees everything he has swallowed by the sea, and he is rewarded with only a full-grown (and hungry) Bengal Tiger as his lone shipmate (this, after the Laughing Hyena (Joe Biden?) kills and eats the Zebra (Boehnor?), then the Orangutan (McConnell?), and finally, the Laughing Joe Hyena is eaten by the Tiger (Obama?).)
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Whoa, didn't expect to go HERE... 
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Metaphors can be spooky sometimes - especially when the work so well.
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In the end, after what seems like YEARS, but is really only 2 Hours and 3 Minutes in "Movie Time", the lifeboat finds land, the boy struggles ashore, and the tiger jumps out and walks away without ever looking back, instead, focused on his new killing grounds which await ahead... 
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Sheesh, that DOES kind of work for President Obama, doesn't it? 
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He'll never look back at what he's done to / for this Country.  He's all about "Forward!", isn't he?
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Ah, enough of this movie role-play, let's get back to the thing itself... 
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ObamaCare, Our Nation's Malignant Federal Toddler, turns Three!
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What will ObamaCare cost? 
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Well, according to the Congressional Budget Office... 
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NFI!  (a.k.a.:  "No Freaking Idea"!) 
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But don't take my word for it, let's go to the chart of CBO Estimates...
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Yes, the costs for ObamaCare will be somewhere between $898 BILLION and $1.6 TRILLION for Medicaid Expansion and Exchanges ALONE.  Or, in layman's terms, about TWICE what we were told it would cost.  But when you're borrowing the money from other Nations?  It's not like it's REAL money! 
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And, BONUS!  This additional expense doesn't include your inflated cost for your family's health care premiums (expected to double by 2014). 
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Yes, that motion you feel under the deck is the U.S.S. ObamaNation listing dramatically to the Left.  Grab your life vest now, and pick up a few Tiger Chow bags on your way to the lifeboat before you get wet...
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And yes, you will GET wet.
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Hey, speaking of 'All Wet'!
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Aw, ain't she Tweet?  On February 27, 2013, Donna Brazile, Democratic-Strategist, called her Health Care Insurance Provider to ask why HER health Insurance Premium went up.  In return, the answer she received, as she tweets, was "No good answer". 
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Yes, the air is thick with irony this day...
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Okay Ms. Brazile, let a guy in his PJ's take a shot at it for you.  Seriously, why not?  I couldn't do any worse than professional political-types YOU consult for, right?
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1.  The Affordable Care Act (now Law) requires insurance companies to insure stuff they never used to...  Presumably for FREE.  Having taken business courses back when the world was young and Carter was President, I have news for you, Ms. B., there is nothing FREE in America (unless, of course, you are Poor in America - in which case, MOST EVERYTHING IS FREE).  I know, because folks like me pay for all of it.   
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2.  Covering contraceptives for FREE?  No, everybody pays, regardless of your religious beliefs of affiliations. 
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3.  Covering kids up to 26 years of age because they can't get a job because the economy SUCKS under Obama leadership?  No, everybody pays.  Including half-wit Democratic Strategists who can't see anything through the haze of their own progressive ideology.
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4.  Funding health care exchanges for the really sick folks with pre-existing conditions who don't have insurance for FREE?  No, everybody pays.  Luckily, this means that morons like you also have to pay.  The difference is that I knew it YEARS ago, and you took three years to catch on.
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5.  For an in depth discussion of WHY health care premiums MUST rise, Ms. Brazile, please check out the following link to a post on Forbes.com which parallels Medicare spending to projected ObamaCare spending increases -- Why Health Care Spending Will Explode Under ObamaCare 
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6.  If the above fact-based assertions do not work for you, I offer you this final 'possible' answer: 
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Recent near-Earth asteroid and meteor fly-bys are making rich 1%-type Health Care Providing Capitalists very nervous.  They need as much money as they can gather to build gigantic interstellar space crafts in which they will escape the Earth in case of a "World Ending" Collision with a foreign body (no, Ms. Brazile,  I'm not speaking about Hugh Jackman - sorry). 
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They will be alerted to the warning of this impending collision by high-ranking executives at Google who are now running former NASA space programs and will be notified immediately via their APPLE-based communication appliances. 
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They will meet in International Falls, North Dakota and be shot into space 8 hours before the 'Big One' hits, just west of Atlanta, Georgia.
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I'm not sure if I've covered all possible conspiracy stuff here, but in the chance that I did not, please feel free to include some vague text about Bigfoot and Alien Abduction at your discretion. 
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Oh, and don't forget the part about Ms. Brazile trapped in a lifeboat with a man-eating tiger.  Yes, not being a man, she'll be just fine... 
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For those who do not know who(m) Ms. Brazile is, she is the current Vice Chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee.  It is therefore no wonder that she has no idea what the impacts of ObamaCare are as she didn't read the Bill either...
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I guess the most interesting fact about Ms. Brazile is that she is a Democratic-Strategist.  Yes, you are reading this correctly.  She tells what Democrats what they need to do to WIN. 
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On second thought, let's make sure that our friend Donna makes it to International Falls on time, because when the Earth is destroyed, I want people of her intellectual 'mass' leading Democratic Leadership on Alpha Centuri in the future.  It may be the only chance surviving Republicans have of winning the future and assuring freedom for those inhabitants of "New America" once they leave this current Obamaville behind in their Jet Wash.
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Ah, maybe there's no asteroid heading towards Earth?  Maybe there's no Meteor with Atlanta's name on it?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I don't know.  What I do know is that unless ObamaCare goes "Under the knife", many things we took for granted in the past will go away. 
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Fatalities attributed to ObamaCare will necessarily include: 
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Choice.  Affordability.  Freedom.  Efficiency.  Access.  Lives.
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In the meantime, folks like Donna will continue to be surprised, and the rest of us will wonder why we didn't do more while we still could? 
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Shame on US. 
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Between you and me?  I've already had my plot of Moon surveyed and deeded.  So when the planet-killer from space gets here, I'll already be on my way to a better place (building lunar rockets is my part-time speciality.) 
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If any of you survive (I'm hoping that you make it - but no, I'm sorry, I only have room on my ship for my family, dogs, and fish), you'll be able to look to the night sky and say, "I see him.  I see the Moos on the Moon."
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Additional lunar plots are available for any other Lunatics out there...
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But only for a limited time.
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Operators are standing by now...
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No, I am NOT kidding:  "Earth's Leading Lunar Registry" Is real. 
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Donna Brazile's consulting qualifications are not.
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Oh, and for "Moo Station Alpha", my new Lunar address? 
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No tigers allowed.
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