Saturday, March 2, 2013

Post Sequestration - Obamaclypse Now

"Barack Solo in Star Wars, Episode 9:  I Meld With You"
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Well, it's official - today is the first day of the "Worst Days of Your Life".  Last evening as you were scanning cable TV, cruising Facebook, or perhaps just reading a good book, the President ordered those Draconian Cuts he warned you all about. 
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He issued the very orders which he tried so valiantly to avoid.  He implemented sequestration. 
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Surprisingly, the Republicans did not bend to the President's will (for once).  President Obama tried to save our Nation 'one more time' - and failed.  Democrats stood ever-ready to answer the call for 'more spending', but nefarious Republicans somehow sucked in their guts, stood tall, and said, "No.  Not this time." 
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So instead of giving politicians an additional $100 BILLION to spend in 2012 - they only gave themselves an additional $15 BILLION to spend.   
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"The First Cleave is the Deepest, baby I know, the first cleave is the deepest" - Rod Stewart

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Yes,  last evening, the President of the United States, Barack Obama, took a 'meat clever' to the soft, gooey insides of our Nation leaving this very Nation splayed open and quivering uncontrollably on his desk.  He didn't want to do it.  It wasn't the President's fault.  He tried (harder than he's ever tried before) to save us from himself.  He even had a photo-op with Congressional leaders yesterday morning to tell them once again that they were getting ready to enforce a 'really dumb thing'. 
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He forgot to mention (again) that the 'really dumb thing' was his staff's idea, but facts, as you know, are 'curious things'.  There was no more time for debate, Surgeon-In-Chief Obama was preparing to operate.    
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Repeatedly the cleaver rose and fell. 
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Blood speckled the walls. 
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The President grinned.
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In a distant room of the White House a monitor fell silent following a protracted, high-pitched squeal of protest.
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When it was over, $85 BILLION lay on the floor of the West Wing.  Cleaved from 2013 bureau budgets the spending pulsed for a moment, fell onto its side and expired.  My God, I can hear the screams of children, the elderly, the sick, the needy, and the unemployed ringing in my ears!  This could be my Tinnitus, but no, I'm pretty sure it's the howling screams of the forgotten, the neglected, and the myriad of yet-ill-conceived spending programs which will never see the light of day.
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The horror.
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I am typing this post at 6:25 on the Saturday morning following 'Sequester Friday'.  It appears that the sun is beginning to rise once again in the east.  While it's still early in the day, I have yet to notice any planes falling from the sky, any zombies shambling up my street, nor any starving children left to die at my doorstep (come to think of it, I'd better go check as soon as this post is a 'wrap').    
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Granted, the increasing amount of light outside may be no more than a headlight from an oncoming train, but I'm pretty sure that it's the sun regardless.  Has the President's cleaver resolved all the Fiscal Ills of our Nation?  No.  Not by a long-shot. 
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Will the 2.2% spending 'cuts' be painful?  Well, that depends on which agencies are impacted.  As you know, 50% of the funds will come from Defense budgets and the remaining 50% (actually the reduction in the spending INCREASE - lest anyone forget) comes out of domestic programs. 
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Who will administer the 'less than expected spending increase'?  Well, I actually looked that up.  While the President has said that it 'isn't him', I look to the Congressional Budget Office and find: 
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The Administration's Office of Management and Budget has sole authority to determine whether a sequestration is required and, if so, the proportional allocations of any necessary cuts.  
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Perhaps the President is NOT aware, but the Office of Management and Budget DOES report to him.  [Inconvenient Truth #689] 
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Image:  WhiteHouse.gov

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So, who's responsible for those 'Draconian Spending Cuts' as they are doled out?  They will be prescribed to American citizens by people who report directly to the President.  It's going to be hard for President Obama to vote "PRESENT" on this one (as illustrated above, he'll be the guy in the 'usual suspects' line-up with blood speckled across on his white shirt). 
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President Obama will want to 'duck and cover' per his normal behavioral pattern, but there are a lot of us gnats buzzing around out here with long memories and access to other folks online. 
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He may forget whose idea this Sequestration thing was, what led up to it, and who decided which cuts are made, but we will not forget.  We g-nats, have a g-knack, for g-facts... 

(The 'g' is silent - thank you!)
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WEATHER UPDATE:    The sun is fully up, it's just past 7:30am.  No planes, no zombies, no starving children on the doorstep (I just looked), and it appears that today is a lot like yesterday, merely a day later.

I leave you today with the phrase I told my my kids every day I woke them up in the morning for school:
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"Good Morning Kidd-o!  Welcome to another day of unlimited possibilities..."
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This goes for you, as well.

Have a great weekend.   May your possibilities be unlimited... 
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