Monday, April 27, 2009

The 'Big Time'

I've always wondered if I would know the moment when, 'I Made It'... I wonder no longer because, just between you and I (or, is it 'me'?), I now know the exact moment in which, 'I did'. It was 6:15pm, last Wednesday.

Scratch another item off my personal 'Bucket List' with a red Sharpie. I was working in Oneonta last Wednesday afternoon and returned to the office later than usual (this, of course, is because I am a loyal and conscientious employee and I don't mind working late to assure the success of my employer (just in case my boss is reading this)).

Returning to the office around 5:50, I found an envelope on my desk. It was an inconspicuous envelope with a logo on the upper left-hand corner which included a large, red, apple. Also found on the front of the envelope were two words: "Mike Kane" (This helped cement the concept that the envelope was actually intended for 'me', I AM Mike Kane.)

It was too small to be a letter bomb (although I never completely rule out 'Itching Powder' in my mail at work...) but I nonetheless decided to brazenly open the envelope even without benefit of my normal HazMat Team. Luckily for me it was only a letter (actually a NICE letter) from a lady named, "Alecia O'Neill" who is Marketing Coordinator at the Cider Mill Playhouse in Endicott, NY.

The letter was, however, unusual for a couple of reasons:

1.) HOW did Alecia O'Neill of the Cider Mill Playhouse find me at work?

2.) WHO put it on my desk? Security at my 'Institution' has apparently been breached (somebody get 'Jack Bauer' on the phone).

3.) WHY is she being so very nice to me? (I am, of course, discounting the fact that maybe Alecia O'Neill is just a NICE person to begin with, but I am bound and determined to keep looking for more sinister motives. At this point I must also add that I haven't FOUND any sinister motives, but I'll keep looking, because, well, being part of the 'Right Wing Extremists', I NEED to keep looking for 'sinister forces' and 'dark energy' because Janet Napolitano told me to - Gee, thanks Janet.)

So here's the deal, I returned to work about an hour later than usual and I found an envelope on my desk with my name on it. I opened it and found a letter which told me that I received '2 complementary tickets' to one of two shows at the Cider Mill Playhouse', either "The Woman in Black" (hmm, sounds 'sinister'), or, "1776" (hmm, sounds a little 'extremist' to me).

And WHY did I receive these complementary tickets? To quote the letter, "I enjoy reading your blog on and hope to see you at the Cider Mill Playhouse soon!" Aha! I KNEW that SOMEONE was reading the blog, and now I know WHO it is! HER NAME is Alecia O'Neill at the Cider Mill Playhouse in Endicott, NY -- she's the ONE!

What Alecia probably doesn't know is that I took the family to see "Dial M for Murder" last year at the Playhouse. It was the first time that we had ever been there (although we talked about it for five years after we moved here).

My only gripe about the night's event: No doughnuts. Yes, if you've been to the Cider Mill, you know that they have doughnuts made fresh on premise throughout the day. Unfortunately for me, 'Thespians' do not worship the 'Doughnut' like the rest of us do.

Lack of doughnuts (a.k.a.: 'Artery Stoppers') aside, I enjoyed my first visit and look forward to my encore visit to the Cider Mill Playhouse. And in case you were ever wondering, "Can the Cow Guy be bought?" Well, now you know, thanks to Alecia O'Neill at the Cider Mill Playhouse in Endicott, NY 607-748-7363!

Shameless plugs aside, thanks to Alecia for the two passes; I look forward to my next visit. I will, however, be stuffing doughnuts down into the sleeves of my shirt prior to my arrival, just to complete the FULL 'Cider House Experience' (think 'Jimi Hendrix Experience', just without the drugs).

Wishing everyone a Cider Mill Playhouse Day (conveniently located in Endicott, NY just minutes from the sound of my blog post)!

Best Regards,

Mike Kane

p.s.: In a totally un-related note, I have just recently signed a major publication deal with TIME Magazine!

I will miss you all as I broaden my horizons outside of the Central New York area. I will now be exposed to the entire United States as part of this EXCLUSIVE agreement with the folks at TIME.

All I have to do is agree to have the magazine billed to my credit card and they'll send me four issues FREE with my year's paid subscription for ONLY $20! I'll also get some kind of 'electronic organizer' thing free, but after being alive as long as I have, I'm pretty confident that after not listening to my wife or kids, some fool thing 'beeping' in my jacket pocket won't stand much of a chance.

I hope my kids will enjoy it (once they put it back together again), 'cause I'm pretty sure I'll be smashing it the first time it goes off...
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