Thursday, June 7, 2012

Recalling Wisconsin

Yes, I know - it's old news now.  Scott Walker succeeds in his attempt to remain Governor of Wisconsin.  Yay!  Let's all bask in the momentary glow of this little win for the next 27 seconds. 

Why 27 seconds? 

Well, obviously, 25 seconds is NOT enough basking, and 30 seconds will make you appear cocky to the casual observer.  So let's just go with the newly instituted 27-second-rule, all right?

Okay, you good?

Yeah, me too. 

I'm not going to spend a lot of time on the specifics of the Walker win in Wisconsin, but I do have a couple of observations for you to think about over the NEXT 27 seconds (assuming you took the Evelyn Wood Speed Reading Course):

OBSERVATION 1:  I'm listening to Media reports on and off throughout the day, and I keep hearing how close of an election it was (without any reference to the Seven percentage points separating the Winner from the Loser). 

OBSERVATION 2:  I keep hearing how Scott Walker had something like $11 TRILLION in a Swiss Bank account to spend on his recall campaign while Tom Barrett (a.k.a.: The 'Loser') had the cash equivalent of a six-pack of Dr Pepper and a Bologna Sandwich (wrapped in greasy brown butcher's paper) stuffed in his shoe. 

OBSERVATION 3:  A week ago I heard Debbie Wasserman 'What-The-Heck' of the DNC say that the recall election in Wisconsin would be a 'dry run' for the ground game the Democrats will have going into the November elections. 

OBSERVATION 4:  President Obama's sole contribution to the Barrett 'Get Out to Vote' campaign to motivate the base of Democrats, Liberals, and Progressives?  A 'Tweet' sent out at 7:17pm the evening prior to the election which consisted of the following heart-felt motivational message:

“It’s Election Day in Wisconsin tomorrow, and I’m standing by Tom Barrett. He’d make an outstanding governor. -bo,”

According to White House staffers, speaking under condition of anonymity, President Obama attempted a second Tweet which read:

"Tom Barrett's my guy, but I don't really think he's gonna win, because the voters in Wizconsin are Racist... -bo" 

This second Tweet never made it to the President's followers because David Axelrod slapped the BlackBerry to the ground before the President was able to hit SEND.  Axelrod later explained to staff members witnessing the event, "We are saving ALL Race Cards for the November Election.  There's no reason to tip off Republicans NOW as to what our robust re-election strategies will be THEN.  Also, the President misspelled 'Wisconsin', and that would have been embarrassing, considering we've told those idiots that 'bo' is some kind of freaking genius for the past four years..."

OBSERVATION 5:  Class warfare?  Yeah, it works.  Thanks Democrats!!! 

Soooo, why are the five observations above important to Conservatives?  Please feel free to reference back up to the Observations above:

1.  The race was REALLY close right? 

Here's the map from the Huffington Post (I made several small edits.  You'll know them when you see them):

The 'Salmon' (red?) shaded areas represent the counties won by Scott Walker

From a purely geographical perspective, Walker CRUSHED Barrett, winning a huge majority of the counties voting on Tuesday.  Yes, I know it doesn't count, but it's odd that there are just so few 'blue' areas on the map, isn't it? 

2.  Okay, so Walker didn't have $11 TRILLION to spend on the election.  Yes, I made that number up (he actually had $16 TRILLION!!!).  But can you blame me for making stuff up as I go, when the Democratic Party points to their lack of funding for their candidate as being the ONLY reason he didn't win?  Seriously dudes, he LOST the last time he ran against Walker.  

Barrett was a flawed candidate representing a flawed ideology.  Suck it up Progressives, Walker did what he said he was going to do, he cut spending, he reigned in excessive Union powers, and he lowered the state unemployment rate, all the while offering workers the 'option' of getting out of Unions and offering alternative benefit solutions.

You guys lost, stop being babies about it and call Al Sharpton.  Maybe he can do some kind of 'March' or something for you and cover you, and him, on MSNBC...

3.  You never thought I'd say it, but here it is, all the same,  "Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, YOU are so RIGHT!!!"

4.  President Obama could NOT have campaigned for Barrett.  He was too busy avoiding the state of Wisconsin while he was travelling OVER Wisconsin for fund-raisers for his own campaign throughout the Midwest - just, you know, never touching the ground in Wisconsin. 

This was a NO-win for the President. 

If the President supported Barrett openly, and Barrett lost, people would believe [SNICKER]) that this was a 'dry run' for the November election and that the President might possibly, um, 'lose'. 

If the President supported Barrett and Barrett actually won, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz's hair would spontaneously combust, sending ribbons of hungry, acrid flames into the air around her head and quite possibly burn down the House of Representatives.  The 'combustion', of course, would be a by-product of head bursting into flames after being 'right' once in her life.

5.  There is a huge lesson to be learned by other Conservatives prior to the November Election... 

Class warfare?  It works.

Scott Walker showed the people of Wisconsin what they made (on average), and then contrasted their average earnings to those of the average state worker.  People tend to pay attention when they realize that they are paying more to public workers than they make themselves.   

According to an article found on USA Today, public sector workers make more, on average, than private sector workers in 41 out of our 50 (or 57, depending upon who's speaking) states.

If Conservatives can figure out how to turn-around the Progressives' tried-and-true Class Warfare conversation on THEM on a National basis, they can guarantee significant wins in the House, Senate, and the White House come November, 2012.  Why?  Because people hate OTHER people for getting over on THEM.   

6.  Oops, sorry, there is NO Number 6...

In conclusion, I wish nothing but the best for those people who fought so long and hard to get rid of Scott Walker.  Here are a few of those freedom-loving waifs who only want the BEST for Wisconsin - expressing their support for Tom Barrett on the day of the recall election. 

Pay particular attention to the "Dismantle Democracy - One Bill At  A Time" sign!  Yes, they are doing whatever they can...

For the 'children of Wisconsin':

What's with all the 'fists'?  Why all the anger???

Hey, somebody had better get them a phone, just in case Sharpton calls.

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