Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Federally-Mandated Sticks and Twigs

We're so sorry, Nephew Albert,
But we haven't cooked a bloody thing all day.
We're so sorry, Nephew Albert,
But the kettle's on the boil and we're so easily called away...
                          -- "Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey" by Paul McCartney

Yes.  I did it.  I changed up a few words in the lyrics above.  

I'm soooo sorry, Uncle Albert... 

This is one of my favorite songs of all time as it reminds me of the kid I 'used to be'.  It reminds me of the summer of 1971 when I, and hundreds of other fellow Boy Scouts spent a summer week camping on Gardiner's Island.  

During July, 1971, it seemed that the only song on my battery-powered AM radio WAS this song.  Camping, roughing it, while "Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey" was pumping out of my little AM radio plastic speaker several dozen times a day - yeah, it was 'mostly' all good.

Ah, but then there were the 'buffaloes'...  Um, not so good.  

You'll see.


We filled our canteens from these huge green military 'water buffaloes' which, sitting in the summer sun, kept the water hot enough to make 'hot' tea.  The water had a metallic 'twang' to it and we Scouts speculated that if we were able to ever open up one of these buffaloes we'd find it full of water, scrap metal, car radiators, and rusting tin cans.  It was probably best that we never figured out how to open the thing up...  Some nights I still dream of opening the spigot at and a class ring clinking onto the rocks through the open tap.  Then, of course, I smell the whiff of decay, a human finger momentarily blocks the spigot and then...  

[Note to self:  Stop reading Stephen King]

Oops, sorry.
We also received rations of dehydrated food to prepare at our campsite under the large WWII era dining fly.  The food wasn't very good, it was ALL dehydrated (which was good since the water was 'almost' boiling when retrieved from the Troop's Water Buffalo).  I also remember there was not a lot of food for we 'swarthy Scouts' to dine upon by our open campfire.  On Tuesday evening I spilled an entire plate of "Chicken a' La-trine" onto the ground by the edge of the fire pit and during the evening and morning which followed - no critters came to eat it.  When wildlife doesn't eat your spilled food at camp - perhaps you shouldn't eat it either? 

All things considered, however, I'd trade a good week at work for a bad week at that particular summer camp any day.  Bad food, or not.

Enough of 1971, for I must fast-forward you (literally) to 2013 to another hot summer, some other kids, and additional bad food choices dictated for some by 'others'.  

However, in this current-day version of summer, no Scout uniforms are visible,  the water buffaloes are in Afghanistan, and the music on the radio and iPods, well, let's just say, "It ain't good like it used to be...".

Seems like nothing is 'good like it used to be'...  

Ah, but maybe that's just me being gloomy on this warm, sticky Wednesday.


Let's party like it's 1984!!! 

(Please bear with me as I now have a Disco-Funk Riff running through my head...  I'll be back in a moment)

Ah, that's better!  Here we go!, July 9, 2013:    New York school drops Michelle Obama lunch standards: Kids too hungry

New York's Burnt Hills-Ballston Lake school district has become the latest casualty in first lady Michelle Obama’s preferred lunch plan, dropping the menu after too many students complained of hunger.

“[Food service manager Nicky] Boehm and her staff worked hard to implement the new regulations, but there were just too many problems and too many foods that students did not like and would not purchase,” said Assistant Superintendent Chris Abdoo about the National School Lunch Program in a statement reported by “Students complained of being hungry with these lunches and the district lost money.”

The school system decided to instead create its own lunch menu for next year.

The district lost about $100,000 trying out the federal menu, which offered such meals as “part” of a chicken patty on a minicroissant, reported.

“Students felt they weren’t getting good value for their money,” Ms. Boehm said in “The high schoolers especially complained the portion sizes were too small and many more students brought in lunch from home.”

This isn’t the first school to drop the federal lunch menu plan. Catlin, Ill., schools did the same, calling the guidelines too “restrictive,” reported.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture is in charge of managing the lunch program and estimates Mrs. Obama’s new wish list for student meals would cost about $3.2 billion to bring to fruition around the nation.

Can you imagine a New York School District saying "NO" to Michelle Obama?  My my, what is this world coming to?  Who knew that New York Schools were so, so, "Racist"? 

When I began digging around for 'stuff' to include in this post, I never realized that there was a federal website called  In reality, I don't know WHY I didn't realize that this site would exist - as for the past five+ years the government has its sticky little fingers pretty much in everything I look at / into.  I should have KNOWN.  

Surprisingly enough however, there is NO (yet) - I'm assuming this is because in the future you'll have no choice about your health care as the Exchanges will be the place your employer sends you to 'get insurance' since you won't be getting it through your job whenever ObamaCare is ready for prime time.  

Wanting to give it the old 'college try' I searched for the site and the first search result which came up was this one...

Obamacare Health Quotes
Health Insurance starting at $1 per day from top companies.


Yeah, how do you like me now? 

Rejoining our post (already in progress!), the school district in New York State LOST $100,000 because students didn't want to eat the 'Sticks and Twigs' mandated by Michelle Obama's stringent dietary guidelines.  

In fact, many students went back to bringing their lunches from HOME.  Sheesh, we can't have THAT happen (you know, people providing for each other because they feel responsible FOR each other - because they are a FAMILY).  

The government, as any rational persons KNOWS, must not have people depending upon their family because this represents a LOSS of responsibility for the government.  And, if responsibilities are stripped from the government, well, it might just need to get SMALLER, spending might be reduced, vital services (Obama Phones) might be discontinued, people would once again begin looking for work and no one wants that, do they?  

NO!  That's crazy talk!

Yeah, I guess that I AM feeling a bit gloomy today.  Sorry.

I'll leave you with this fragile thread of logic:

  • When the government does not trust you enough to feed your own children?  Perhaps the education given to you by the government in schools is 'lacking'?
  • If the education given to you by the government is 'lacking' perhaps we need to re-think the education system?
  • If we re-think the entire education system, perhaps we need to look at alternative teaching options such as Charter Schools, Private Schools, Religious Schools?
  • And if we look at alternative teaching options, shouldn't we fund them using State / Federal monies since, according to Michelle Obama, people graduating from schools are too stupid to know what to eat and how to feed themselves?

Just for giggles, you saw the 'Official Artwork' above, someone (not me) took a few liberties with it to make it a bit more realistic (for one Presidential family at least)...

Yes, I thought it was funny.  

Humor is firmly rooted in truth.

The Obamas no longer allow themselves to be photographed whilst they are 'Dining'.  I wonder why that is?  

Perhaps it's because they are NOT eating anything remotely looking like this?

Lastly, since Michelle went on SesameStreet to sell her sticks and twigs to the children of the Nation, I close today's post with Cookie Monster's 'Official Rebuttal Statement' to the First Lady's "Let's Move" program...

Have a nice day folks...

Enjoy the remaining years of Michelle Obama's 'helpful national projects'.

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