Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"Stop Buying the Booze, I'm Shootin' Up Today..."

I'm often asked, "Mike, what events have conspired to make you 'the way you are'? What HAPPENED to you? All the stuff that you write down... Do you really believe it, or is it a schtick?"

Allow me to address the third question first: Yes, I believe it all (otherwise, why say, or write, it?). And since you asked... my schtick is HUGE. [Rimshot]

The other two questions can be answered as follows: I was born on Long Island, moved to New Jersey when I was 21, and then moved to Jacksonville, Florida and lived there for almost 18 years. NOW I'm back in New York (and still trying to figure out WHY).

Dang it, I AM 'America'! I can say 'You's guys' and 'Ya'll' in a single sentence without any noticeable hesitation. I have SEEN 'Hot Boiled Peanuts' at convenience stores and road-side stands in REAL LIFE. But...
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