Friday, August 10, 2012

The Inconvenience of Truth


Pueblo, Colorado, August 9, 2012:  “I said, I believe in American workers, I believe in this American industry, and now the American auto industry has come roaring back,” he said. “Now I want to do the same thing with manufacturing jobs, not just in the auto industry, but in every industry.
 

“I don’t want those jobs taking root in places like China, I want those jobs taking root in places like Pueblo,” Obama told a crowd gathered for a campaign rally at the Palace of Agriculture at the Colorado State Fairgrounds here.

...

“Gov. Romney brags about his private sector experience, but it was mostly invested in companies, some of which were called 'pioneers of outsourcing,'” Obama said. “I don’t want to be a pioneer of outsourcing. I want to insource.”


Defining Moments: 

"insourcing"

Delegating a job to someone within a company, as opposed to someone outside of the company (outsourcing).


One reason for insourcing to occur is if a company had previously outsourced a certain task, but was no longer satisfied with the work being done on that task, so the company could therefore insource the task and assign it to someone within the company who they believe will do a better job.

and,

Insourcing is when a company ceases to contract a business function and begins to perform it internally. Insourcing is the opposite of outsourcing. Insourcing is a business decision that is often made to maintain control of critical production or competencies. Insourcing is widely used in production to reduce costs of taxes, labor and transportation.

Insourcing is also sometimes defined as bringing a third party outsourcer to work inside a company's facility. An IT outsourcing provider, for example, will be hired to service a company's IT department while working inside the company's facilities.[1] In addition to contracting an entire team of workers from an outsourcing provider, outside experts are sometimes hired as consultants (to improve certain processes etc.) and the internal staff thereafter implements their recommendations.[2]

Insourcing is often confused with onshoring which is a company's decision to bring jobs back from overseas.

Sounds to me as if President Obama is incorrect when he uses the word, 'Insourcing'.  But, then again, he's President.  He can make up stuff as he goes...  As for me, I'm a purist.  I believe that words mean things. 

You know, like all those words in The Constitution which mean nothing to the President either... 


Inconvenient Truth #1:

National Review Online, May 2012:  Would you hire President Obama as your financial adviser?

Three years ago his administration invested more than $100 billion in taxpayer money to bail out General Motors. On Tuesday, the entire company, not just what the government owns, was worth less than $34 billion. By anyone’s definition, that investment is a glaring failure. Yet over the last few days the Obama campaign, in a $25 million marketing blitz, has flooded the airwaves with ads in battleground states, claiming the bailout should be counted a rousing success.
 

Unfortunately, assertions that “all loans have been repaid to the federal government,” that the bailout “saved more than one million American jobs,” that “U.S. automakers are hiring hundreds of thousands of new workers,” that GM is again the “number-one automaker” — all are based on creative accounting.
 

The money the government spent adds up quickly: $50 billion in TARP bailout funds, a special exemption waiving payment of $45.4 billion in taxes on future profits, an exemption for all product liability on cars sold before the bailout, $360 million in stimulus funds, and the $7,500 tax credit for those who buy the Chevy Volt. GM’s share of other programs is harder to quantify but includes, for example, some of the $15.2 billion that went to Cash for Clunkers. Those costs are in addition to the billions taken from GM’s bondholders by the Obama administration.
...

A look at the accounting shows the trouble with contentions that much of the TARP money is getting paid back. The Obama administration compares the $50 billion in direct bailout funds with the price it will eventually be able to get for selling the GM stock it owns. But that assumes that the stock price won’t reflect government subsidies, including GM’s exemption from paying $45 billion in taxes. By the Obama administration’s logic, if the stimulus grants to TARP recipients were simply large enough, all the TARP money could be paid.
 

Claims that GM paid back its TARP loan are true but misleading. President Obama clearly wants to create the impression that all the money given to the auto companies has been paid back. But the $6.7 billion loan to GM was just a tiny fraction of the money given to it. As TARP special inspector general Neil Barofsky explained, GM used “other TARP money” to pay off the loan.

Obama’s economic advisers told him during an April 2009 meeting that job losses in the auto industry would be only a fraction — 10 to 20 percent — of these claimed numbers, even for the much weaker Chrysler. The advisers reported the obvious: Bankruptcy would not kill all jobs at GM and, even with cutbacks, suppliers would pick up other work. But Obama keeps using numbers that his own advisers told him were wrong.
 

Even saving 20 percent of 400,000 comes at quite a cost — at least $780,000 per job. How many workers would have been willing to quit working for GM for a $400,000 severance payment?
 

The “number-one automaker” assertion is no more accurate. Obama’s sales totals include 1.2 million mostly cheap commercial vehicles built by China’s Wuling, a company in which GM owns a small stake, and it excludes sales by vehicle makers in which Volkswagen owns a majority share. Fortune magazine lists GM’s revenue as smaller than Toyota’s and Volkswagen’s.
 

The only real winners from the GM bailout were unions, which were protected from pay cuts, from losing their right to overtime pay after less than 40 hours a week, and from cuts to their extremely generous benefits. They faced only minor tweaks in their inefficient union work rules.

Having just $34 billion to show after a $100 billion-plus investment would get a chief executive of any private company fired. Unfortunately, Obama does not seem to understand how this money has been wasted.


Inconvenient Truth #2:


General Electric's health-care unit is moving the headquarters of its x-ray business from Waukesha, Wisconsin to Beijing to gain from Chinese growth, according to Bloomberg.
 

The company said only a few of its top managers would move to China, and that it expects no job losses at its Wisconsin office, that has 120 employees. GE Healthcare will however hire 65 new engineers and other staff at the new Chengdu facility.
 

This is part of the parent-company's broader plan to invest $2 billion in China. General Electric expects its health-care revenue in China to rise 20% annually through 2015.
 

Earlier this year GE Healthcare launched a three-year "Spring Wind" initiative that aims to helps the Chinese government by developing affordable healthcare products, boost medical distribution network across China and offer training for Chinese healthcare professionals. In 2010, GE Healthcare also committed to sending 500 members into rural China to help grassroot medical institutions.

While the company reported no job losses in the U.S. stemming from the move, President Obama and Jeffrey Immelt are likely to face flak, since Obama appointed Immelt the top outside economic adviser and charged him with running a jobs-focused panel to help bring the U.S. economy back on track.
 

GE came under scrutiny earlier this year after The New York Times reported the company did not pay any taxes in 2010. It has since been reported that GE had not finished its tax filing, and that the company expected to pay taxes.
 

Immelt (the Obama Administration's 'Job Czar') has also been criticized for employing 36,000 more people abroad, than in the U.S. and cutting 34,000 American jobs after becoming CEO, according to The Huffington Post.


Looking forward to reading about today's 'Made-Up-Facts-Du-Jour' from the campaign trail...

I wonder if Mitt Romney killed anyone else today?

I wonder if Allen West, R, FL, has pummelled any women lately?

Oh, it appears that he has...


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Welcome to the Nanc-E-Pe-Coli's Club!


"I'll get you my pretty..."

From the CDC: 

Escherichia coli (E. coli)
Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria normally live in the intestines of people and animals. Most E. coli are harmless and actually are an important part of a healthy human intestinal tract.

However, some E. coli are pathogenic, meaning they can cause illness, either diarrhea or illness outside of the intestinal tract. The types of E. coli that can cause diarrhea can be transmitted through contaminated water or food, or through contact with animals or persons.

...

What are the symptoms of STEC infections?
The symptoms of STEC infections vary for each person but often include severe stomach cramps, diarrhea (often bloody), and vomiting. If there is fever, it usually is not very high (less than 101˚F/less than 38.5˚C).

Most people get better within 5–7 days. Some infections are very mild, but others are severe or even life-threatening.

...

How are these infections spread?

Infections start when you swallow STEC—in other words, when you get tiny (usually invisible) amounts of human or animal feces in your mouth.

Unfortunately, this happens more often than we would like to think about.  

(Moos Note:  Especially when Nanc-E-Pe-Coli continually tells you to eat, well, um, you know...)


The above CDC Moment is brought to you today by the letters "B" and "S" from the hyper-partisan Nancy Pelosi, D, CA. 

Yes, someone paid to bring Loopy down from her castle tower a few days ago, then some clueless believer of the "Word of Pelosi" put a microphone in her hand and allowed her to speak to a group of Democrats in Florida. 

The intent was to raise money for Lois Frankel, yet another Democrat running for Congress, yada, yada, yada.  I do not care why she was there, but I did want to spend a moment or two on what she said while she was there. 

Yes, and now I find myself going THERE too...  In the words of the former Speaker:

“I say to (Republicans), do you have children that breathe air? Do you have grandchildren that drink water?,” Pelosi asked. “I’m a mom and I have five kids ... as a mom I was vigilant about food safety, right moms?

If you could depend on the government for one thing it was that you had to be able to trust the water that our kids drank and the food that they ate. But this is the E. coli club. They do not want to spend money to do that.”

  Video:  E-Coli Club

So I went looking for answers to understand WHY Ms. Pelosi believes that Republicans want dirty air, e-Coli laden food, and, I can only assume, raw sewage running freely down the streets of America. 

I found the answers I sought at DemocraticUnderground.com (as republished by the Daily Kos, and originally published on Meteor Blades):

Sadly, Pelosi's E. coli remark isn't hyperbole.

There was a time just a bit over a century ago when many Republicans, including President Teddy Roosevelt, took a different view of things. During that 20-year-long era, progressive legislation was passed to break up corporate trusts, extend rights to workers and do thing that today we take for granted, like inspecting food.


The dominance of corporate money both in economics and politics, the attacks on workers' rights and cutbacks even in what is spent on making sure our food is safe illustrates just how retrograde the Republicans have been.

The REST of the story...

Republicans AND Democrats in the House opposed the Food Safety Modernization Act of 2010 because of the costs and administrative overhead involved with moving our 99.9% 'safe' food supply the additional .1% to make our food 100% 'safe' for consumption. 

Gratuitous Example:  If a plane has a 99.9% of delivering me ALIVE to my destination, I'll board the dang plane.  If that number fell to 80% or so, well, I'm putting $3.58 per gallon gas in the mini-van.  

But, I digress. 

The understanding we must all come away with regard to the Progressive Democratic mind is their motivation.  They want their witless constituents to believe that Republicans (Conservative or not) actually want people to die (for a quick overview, check out the President's PAC ad from earlier this week).  

If you want to completely understand how a Progressive thinks about 'investment' vs. 'deficit reduction', spend less than three minutes in a Hotel room with Betsey Stevenson. 

Oh, sorry, that sounds a LOT filthier than it actually will be...  Sorry.



      
Stevenson was even more critical of the focus on spending cuts while speaking on a panel at the Center for American Progress’ conference on the middle class and American economy.

“This idea that we can cut and cut and cut and have a government that can support a modern economy doesn’t make sense,” she said, adding that government “should spend during recessions. That’s why you do things like the (stimulus). It works.”

Yes, if only we had MORE stimulus spending... 

Yeah, that's the ticket!  We just didn't do enough, over the past 3+ years and $5+ Trillion dollars in new debt.

With fewer than 100 days until the 2012 Elections, I'm not sure how much higher the 'BS' Factor (please, be aware that BS CAN carry...  e-Coli) can be ratcheted up regarding Republican efforts to KILL people. 

Confidence is high, however that with folks like Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama leading the Democrat Party and setting the tone for the Democrats, Progressives, and Liberals, in general, it ought to be a 'barn burner'.

Let's just make sure that the barn isn't full of nuns, handicapped children, puppies, and kittens before the Democrats 'burn' it, okay?

Oops, did I just accuse the Democrat Party of wanting to burn nuns, children, and puppies alive in a barn? 

No, I did not. 

I never said that they burned them all alive. 

The Democrats SHOT them prior to setting them on fire.  It was the more compassionate thing to do. 

Welcome to the 2012 campaign - grab your Wet Wipes and Kevlar - we're going in...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Popeye vs. Sea Hag (2012)


Once upon a time there was a little boy named Michael.  He was a very average boy living in an exceedingly average town.  He was no way special from other kids his own age, except for this one thing: 

He could imitate Popeye.

Yes, he could do it very well. 

He watched the show as it appeared intermittently on his Grandmother's TV set.  Since its point of broadcast was New York's WPIX (Channel 11) on weekday mornings - it was a long way away.  Living far from New York City, and (horror!) his Grandmother's not having cable, Michael would turn on the antenna-equipped Admiral TV fingers-crossed, hoping to see what mischief Bluto, Brutus, the Sea Hag, and Eugene (The Jeep) each had in store for his sailor man this morning.

The only thing he knew for sure is that regardless of the reception on this Grandmother's black and white television set - the Sailor Man would triumph... 

Or he imagined that Popeye did on those days the reception gave out.

Hope, they say, springs eternal...





It is with great sorrow therefore that I announce that Popeye's 'Cage Match' with Sea Hag happened yesterday. 

And I, the grown up Michael... 

Missed it.

Yes, I was working a fundraiser for our local High School Marching Band, parking cars for the 28th Annual Spiedie Fest and Balloon Rally.  Fundraising is something people do when they do not rely upon State and local government for EVERYTHING. 

(Yes, I know you already knew this, but there are people out there who rely on EVERYTHING from the government.  I meant to remind THEM, not YOU. Sorry, I'm writing this in 2012 after all, and 2012 is not like 1965 when I lay upon my Grandmother's floor waiting for Popeye to show up...)    

Luckily, I can transport you back in time with a little help of a video link, a transcript, and a can of Spinach I've been saving for just such a special occasion.  Come join me on the floor of my Grandmother's living room on the area rug as we watch the epic battle re-match between two of our Nation's cartoon characters, Sea Hag (Debbie Wasserman Schultz) and Popeye (Reince Prebius) in LIVING COLOR.

You can either watch the video clip in its entirety here, or check out the transcript below.  In either case, keep one hand on your mouse, and your free hand on the spinach can (just in case Popeye (a.k.a.:  Reince Prebius) needs help)...



GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS as "Eugene"
DEBBIE WASSERMAN SCHULTZ as "Sea Hag"
REINCE PREBIUS as "Popeye"
HARRY REID as "Wimpy"
CLINT EASTWOOD as "Bluto"

Debbie (Sea Hag) Wasserman Schultz

STEPHANOPOULOS: The Democratic Senate Leader, Harry Reid made a pretty explosive charge this week, he said Mitt Romney hasn't paid taxes in 10 years. Here he was on the Senate floor.
 
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REID: The word is out that he hasn't paid any taxes for 10 years. Let him prove that he has paid taxes. Because he hasn't.
 
(END VIDEO CLIP)

STEPHANOPOULOS: Now, you know, Senator Reid's only source there, according to him, is an anonymous Bain investor whose identity he won't reveal. Is it appropriate for the Democratic leader in the Senate to make a charge like that with no more evidence than an anonymous source?
 
SCHULTZ: George, I don't know who Harry Reid's source is, but I do know that Mitt Romney could clear this up--
 
STEPHANOPOULOS: That's the point, isn't it?

SCHULTZ: -- in 10 -- I do know that Mitt Romney could clear this up in 10 seconds by releasing the 23 years of tax returns that he gave to John McCain when he was being vetted for vice president. Or even 12 years of tax returns that his own father said were what was appropriate. Because one year of tax returns, like he's released, could just be for show. And let's not forget--
 
STEPHANOPOULOS: But it's one thing to say--

SCHULTZ: -- that a week ago, hold on a second, George, a week ago, Mitt Romney said in response to a reporter's question when asked if he had ever paid a rate below 13.9 percent, that he would check and get back to us. And you know, I'm glad I wasn't holding my breath waiting for Mitt Romney to get back to us on answering that question, because he still hasn't responded whether he's paid a lower tax rate.
 
STEPHANOPOULOS: He hasn't, but he has denied that he didn't pay taxes for 10 years. And I take your point that it would be right to show more tax returns. At the same time, I don't believe that you believe that it's OK to make a charge like that, 10 years of not paying taxes, with no evidence.
 
SCHULTZ: Like I said, I don't know whose Harry Reid's source was, but I do know that this is a question that has swirled around Mitt Romney for this entire campaign. I do know that he could clear it up just like that, lickety-split, by releasing his tax returns, which every major candidate for president of the United States has done except for Mitt Romney.

I do know that there are massive questions about why he has a Swiss bank account, why he has investments in the Cayman Islands and a Bermuda corporation that he has transferred to his wife's name one day before he became governor of Massachusetts.

 
STEPHANOPOULOS: I take it from your answer you're not going to repudiate Senator Reid's charge.
 
SCHULTZ: Everybody is responsible for saying the things that they have information on. Harry Reid says that he has a credible source. I know that this question is not just generated by Harry Reid. It's been asked by countless reporters, by voters that want to know--
 
STEPHANOPOULOS: On that question, Congresswoman, do you stand by Harry Reid's charge?
 
SCHULTZ: -- about -- more about Mitt Romney's finances. What is he hiding? I stand by the fact -- George, I stand by the fact that I believe, like the overwhelming majority of voters believe, because the polls all show, that Mitt Romney owes us more than one year of tax returns.


That WAS painful, wasn't it?  Sorry, the reading was hard, but least you didn't have to watch the Sea Hag live while she was spouting off,

"I believe, like the overwhelming majority of voters believe, because the polls all show, that Mitt Romney owes us more than one year of tax returns."

LOGIC 'TIME-OUT' BEGINS:  Based upon the above comment, Debbie Wasserman Schultz belives that your debt obligation to the IRS is determined by public opinion polling?  Wait till Bill Gates, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt get their next tax bills... 

I'd like to be a fly on ANY of those walls.  

LOGIC 'TIME-OUT' ENDS...       


STEPHANOPOULOS: Let's get a response now from Republican National Committee. Thank you, Congresswoman. Reince Priebus, the chairman of the RNC.
 
SCHULTZ: Thank you, George.


Reince (Popeye) Prebius


STEPHANOPOULOS: Will join us right now. Good to see you, Mr. Chairman.

PRIEBUS: Good morning. Good morning, George.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Let's get a response right away to what you just heard from the congresswoman.
 
PRIEBUS: Do we want to continue down the direction of unemployment above 8 percent for countless months, a president that hasn't lived the mission, hasn't fulfilled the promises. People aren't better off today than they were three or four years ago. Do we want to continue in that direction? Heck no.

And as far as Harry Reid is concerned, listen, I know you might want to go down that road, I'm not going to respond to a dirty liar who hasn't filed a single page of tax returns himself.

Complains about people with money but lives in the Ritz Carlton here down the street. So if that's on the agenda, I'm not going to go there. This is just a made-up issue. And the fact that we're going to spend any time talking about it is ridiculous.
 
STEPHANOPOULOS: You say you are not going to respond, but you just called him a dirty liar.

You stand by that, you think Harry Reid is a dirty liar?
 
PRIEBUS: I just said it.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So, what do you want from him right now?

PRIEBUS: Listen, this president has a job to do. And Harry Reid has a job to do. We have an opportunity in this country to save the very idea of America. To bring back the days of liberty, freedom, the American dream.

And the fact is, we're just -- we're not doing well right now, as an economy. And this president, is the head of this country. And he has not fulfilled the mission and he hasn't lived up to the promises that he made to the people of this country.

And it's hard to believe that the president of 2008, when he campaigned and said he was going to bring America together, that he would trot out Harry Reid and try to divide this country and spread this division and hatred. It's ridiculous, it's wrong, it's untrue. And it's just going to hurt the president.
 
STEPHANOPOULOS: Setting aside Harry Reid's charges, a lot of Republicans, as you know, a lot of major figures in your party, have come forward and said that Mitt Romney should just release more of his tax returns. Wouldn't that make a lot of these questions go away?
 
PRIEBUS: George, here's what I think. I think this president has got a problem with the American dream. You know, when I grew up -- and I know that both Republicans and Democrats listening to this right now agree with this -- when I grew up, in a great place called Kenosha, Wisconsin, my dad was a union electrician, my mom was a realtor.

We drove around town, and when my parents and we drove past a beautiful house on the corner, my parents didn't point at the house and say, hey, look at this lousy people in this beautiful house. Look at this guy and his new Corvette.

My dad did probably the same thing your dad did and a lot of dads out there. He turned around, and he said, listen, pal, if you work hard and you go to school, mom and dad, we hope you live in that house. We hope it's two times bigger than that house. That's the American dream.

And this idea that we're spending all of our time just killing people because they live the American dream and made something out of nothing and made money -- I mean, this is crazy talk. And I just think we need to get back to the issues.
 
STEPHANOPOULOS: So the short answer is, you don't believe it's hurting him, you don't think he has to do anything more on the tax returns?
 
PRIEBUS: I think it's hurting the president -- I think it's hurting the president because people know that the job to do in this country and the job that this president claimed that he was going to do was, what did he say? Jobs one. He hasn't met with his jobs council.

The entire philosophy of Bill Clinton -- excuse me, of Barack Obama -- can be summarized in one word, and that's Solyndra. That's Barack Obama's philosophy.
 
...
STEPHANOPOULOS: We will see you at the convention. Mr. Chairman, thanks very much.
 
PRIEBUS: Thank you, George.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Coming up, our powerhouse roundtable weighs in all of the week's politics.
 
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CLINT EASTWOOD: It's halftime, America. And the second half is about to begin.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

STEPHANOPOULOS: Clint makes Mitt's day.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

STEPHANOPOULOS: Chick-fil-a appreciation day. Victory for free speech or celebration of discrimination?
 
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
 
The wind blows, the picture fades, and the television clicks off...


In reviewing the above, it occurs to me that the People of this Nation need to eat a whole lot more spinach.  

Reince ate his this past Sunday morning.  It's about time someone representing the Republican Party grew a spine and stood up to the endless parade of Accusations du Jour.

Perhaps other members of Congress should have a nice can of Popeye's Spinach waiting for them in their office following their five-week summer vacation?

Yes, yes we 'Can' send spinach to members of Congress.  They won't know what it's for, but maybe if enough folks join in, they'll get it?

It's a dream I have. 

The dream of a six year-old kid laying flat bellied on his Grandmother's floor wanting to see the good guys win, just one more time...

 

Friday, August 3, 2012

Reiding is FunDuhMental!!!


"Hey kids, does anyone know what today is, and why today is important?", asks the man in the brown suit, white shirt, and cow-spotted tie.

Bobby raises a tentative hand, "It's Friday, right Mr. Moos?"

"Yes Bobby, it IS Friday, but that's not why today is important.", says the man as he straightens his jacket and shifts in his chair.  "Anyone else want to take a guess as to why today is special?" he asks.

The room is quiet as the children each look down the line of wooden desk chairs from one to another.  At the end of the row a girl in bright yellow shorts and blue top begins to wave her hand as if it has just been set on fire and she's trying to shake it out.

"Mr. Moos, is it because today is "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day"?", she blurts this out as if the suspense is killing her.

"Yes Tracy, today IS "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day", says the man as he tosses her a six-pack of Oreo cookies.  "And does anyone know why this makes today special?" he asks them.

Tracy's hand shoots up again, "Because today is the day we can make stuff up and say it out loud for anyone to hear it - right!?!?  And, and, and, we don't have to tell anyone WHY we made it up, or if we actually heard it from someone for real, or if we, um, just pulled it out of the clear blue sky! 

And then we tell the person we made the stuff up about to prove that what we said...  Isn't true.  Isn't that right Mr. Moos?!?!" the girl is now shaking in anticipation knowing the man has more Oreos stashed in his bag and she has answered the question correctly again. 



"You are exactly right Tracy - today is the day that we make stuff up and challenge people (whom we don't like) to prove that it isn't true!  Great answer, but sorry, no more Oreos for you!  

Unfortunately, the FDA has determined that eating more than ten Oreos a week will make you fat, lazy, and quite possibly, a Welfare recipient.  Giving you more cookies is morally reckless.  I cannot, in good conscience, give you any more of those wonderful Oreos."  He dons a pair of surgical gloves, reaches into his shopping bag, withdraws a head of Mizuna and tosses it to the girl.  

"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asks.

"Tracy, I have no idea - I don't like even touching the stuff - that's why I pack the gloves..."  Then he stands, pulls off his gloves, tosses them into the bag and walks away leaving the stunned kids wondering what happens next.

"Mr. Moos, hey, Mr. Moos, so when do WE get to make stuff up?" Suzie asks.

"Right after you get a lesson from the Pro.  This man IS a professional - don't try this at home kids..." He pulls a full sleeve of Oreos from his jacket pocket and pops most of them into his mouth all at once.  

He gags a bit as he chews, the lights dim, a computer whirs to life in the distance as a thin and whiny voice begins to pump from the tinny laptop speakers...



LA Times Online, August 2, 2012:  (Harry Reid) The Democrat, in remarks to the Senate this morning, said "the word's out that he [Romney] hasn't paid any taxes for 10 years." Of course, that "word" has come from none other than Reid himself. Since last month, when he alleged in a Senate floor speech that Romney "basically paid no taxes in the prior 12 years," the Nevada lawmaker has continued to hammer away at the topic.


Reid has said he learned about Romney’s taxes earlier this summer from an investor in Bain Capital who, he said, called his office to pass along the information. The senator has refused to identify the investor and has acknowledged that he can't be certain about the veracity of the charges he's been spreading.


In a conference call with Nevada reporters on Wednesday, he broadened what he said were his sources for the contention that Romney was able to avoid federal taxes.


"I have had a number of people tell me that," said Reid, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, while refusing to elaborate. "I don't think the burden should be on me," Reid told the home-state reporters. "The burden should be on him. He's the one I've alleged has not paid any taxes. Why didn't he release his tax returns?”


On Thursday morning, Reid said that a nominee for a Cabinet position couldn't get confirmed by the Senate if he made as limited a release of tax information as Romney has thus far.


"Let him prove that he has paid taxes, because he hasn't," Reid declared, then adding that “Mitt Romney makes more money in a single day than the average middle-class family makes in two years or more."
 


 "Okay kids, go for it," commands a slightly-muffled (still chewing) voice from somewhere behind the PC monitor glowing in the darkened room.



Tracy raises her hand and says that she heard that, "Harry Reid is a part-time owner and full-time customer of the World Famous Chicken Ranch Brothel.  Here he is seen 'making Googly eyes' at Vanessa WunderBottom - a well-known German prostitute revered for her uncanny ability of being able to pick up a TV remote and depressing the selector keys to access the local Cable Channel for CNN...  While never using her fingers. 

She is the woman who encouraged Harry to begin parting his hair on the left (see prior image above) because, as she said, "My little Harry - everything about him is a little to the Left...  And I mean EVERYTHING."

"I know that it's true because I heard someone talking about it on the downtown bus," she adds...
      








Billy says, "I heard that Harry Reid beats his wife 'a lot'.  Then he photo-shops his head onto a much more 'manly body' so he can feel better about the quality of the beating.  You know, because he's not REALLY so tough. 

When asked for a comment, Reid said, "If I want to beat my wife, that's up to me see, and if you don't like it, I can put my head on a freakin' Godzilla or something and really scare you big time!  If that doesn't work, I'll put my big ol' gourd on top of Nancy Pelosi's body - that'll scare the bejeezus out of you!  

Oh wait, I've already put my head on Nancy - strike that..."  

Billy finishes by saying that "It must be true, because I just read it here, on the Internet."




 


Jimmy states the following about Harry Reid, "My staff has always said, 'Don't say this,' but I'm going to say it again because it's so descriptive because it's true," Reid said.


He referenced House Minority Leader John Boehner's comments about the long lines of tourists that stream into the Capitol complex, and said: "In the summertime, because (of) the high humidity and how hot it gets here, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol." 



"Oops, sorry kids, this last one actually happened.  So let's call it a day, I'm hungry and I need to find a couple of milk shakes to wash these cookies down."

"Did you save any cookies for us?" asks Jimmy.

"No Jimmy, the cookies are for me.  As a matter of fact, I just polished off Tracy's cookies while she was writing her Reiding FunDuhMental comments above.  Instead, I'm taking all of you to Chick Fil-A; I hear there are many interesting 'things' to see there today..."

"Yay, we love Chick Fil-A Mr. Moos!!!  You're the absolute best!!!"   

"It goes without saying kids - but thanks for saying it all the same..." He says as he holds the door open for the kids leaving the classroom.

"Mr. Moos, will there be 'haters' over at the Chick Fil-A?" Tracy asks.

"Not from our side kidd-o.  Not from our side.  We like everybody - even when we're making stuff up about them.  We do it to be funny, not to destroy anyone.  There is a difference."