Fifty Two Ways to Pause Your Warming

 FIFTY-TWO WAYS TO PAUSE YOUR WARMING

"The Earth will soon be dead" the Media said to me
"The answer is easy if you take it logically
We'd like to help you in your struggle to breathe free
There are fifty-two ways to pause your warming"
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Gore said "It's pretty much my habit to intrude
No doubt my solutions will add cost and will be crude
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being rude,
There must be fifty-two ways to pause your warming
Fifty-two ways to pause your warming"
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You just fudge a chart, Hart
Start a new scam, Fran
You don't need to be right, Dwight
Just listen to me,
Hop on the global warming bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Only listen to me, Lee
Save yourself a tree
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Ooo fire up my jet, Chet
Fly me to my Malibu house, Klaus,
You don't need to be right, Dwight
Just listen to me
Hop on the global warming bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Only listen to me, Lee
Save yourself a tree
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A tip of the horn to Paul Simon for providing the musical inspiration for the post which follows...
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I came across an article that I meant to comment on a few weeks ago, but as luck would have it, I was kidnapped by space aliens and spent several days 'off-planet' getting my inner-parts 'probed' in inappropriate, but nonetheless, memorable ways.  
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Actually, I made up the abduction 'thing' to get out of climbing ladders and painting the shutters on the second story of my home.  My wife didn't buy this veracity-challenged excuse (feel free to use the word 'lie' here) and she offered to check out my most 'darkest cavity' workings with metal 'things and lights' to see if they left any alien probes lying about whilst exploring my innards.  Knowing that she has a medical background with access to shiny, sharp and terribly frightening 'instruments' led me to my prompt response to her offer... 
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Two weeks later, I can honestly say, "Gosh those hunter green shutters really 'pop' now, especially when viewed from the street!  They look GREAT!!!"
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Back in August I wrote a post called "Hot, Deep, and Wet" which explored one of the this year's reasons explaining the lack of measurable Global Warming on the planet (HINT:  Because all that heat moved into the Ocean for a multi-year vacation - and apparently it's not opposed to migrating from the Pacific to the Atlantic from time to time).  Someone over at the Daily Caller must have been paying attention because not only did they find this singular reason for Global Warming's Pause...  
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They found Fifty-One ADDITIONAL reasons which enlightened minds have expounded since January 1, 2014.  Yes, Fifty-Two Ways to Pause Your Warming.  
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Sing with me now...


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I used to make faces like this - until I added Fiber to my Diet

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There are Now 52 Explanations to Explain the Pause in Global Warming
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It’s been a busy year for climate scientists, who have been trying to explain why there has been no global warming for nearly two decades.
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The Daily Caller News Foundation reported in February there were eight mainstream explanations for the pause, but there are now a whopping 52 explanations for why there has been no warming trend for the last 215 months.
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So what’s the latest explanation for why the Earth stopped warming? Europe’s Joint Research Center (JRC) says the hiatus in warming since 2001 is due to “a combination of a natural cooling phase, known as multidecadal variability (MDV), and a downturn of the secular warming trend.”
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European Union scientists don’t know the exact what caused the “downturn of the secular warming trend,” but say “ the Earth hasn’t warmed at the same pace during the 20th century.” JRC researchers analyzed surface temperature records going back to 1850 to “separate natural variations from secular” ones.
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Scientists discovered three hiatus periods in the temperature records — 1878 to 1907, 1945 to 1969 and 2001 to today — and concluded that these “hiatus periods coincide with natural cooling phases – the multidecadal variability (MDV), most likely caused by natural oceanic oscillations.”
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...
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“The Greenhouse Gas Bulletin shows that, far from falling, the concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere actually increased last year at the fastest rate for nearly 30 years,” Jarraud warned. “We must reverse this trend by cutting emissions of CO2 and other greenhouse gases across the board. We are running out of time.”
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But Jarraud’s warning comes after reports that there has been no global warming for the past 215 months, according to satellite data. Furthermore, recent research suggests the “pause” in warming could last another decade.
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Some climate scientists who are skeptical of theories that man-made global warming will have catastrophic impacts, say increasing carbon dioxide levels should not be alarming.

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It's seems odd to me that when you ask the 'smartest people on the planet' to explain WHY Global Warming is missing in action, a few of their reasons include:
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• Deep-water heat absorption
• Low solar activity
• Pine Aerosols 
• Faster Pacific Trade Winds
• Slower Trade Winds 

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For these, and Forty-Seven additional, Global Climate Change Pause theories, check out the following link:  Fifty-Two Explanations

With so many theories for the 'PAUSE' of man-made Global Warming / Climate Change, I wonder if the fundamentally-undeniable one is that man-made Global Climate Change is not actually happening.  Because if man-made Global Climate Change IS a valid scientifically-significant event, wouldn't there be a fool-proof mechanism to explain why it is, or is not happening?
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Back when the World was young and I could run fast (without breathing heavily), I learned about something called THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD.  This was a process by which people in white lab coats whom did, um, things called 'Scientific Studies following the Scientific Method'. 
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From a flow chart perspective, it looks something like this:
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Something tells me that the current crop of scientists supportive of theory of man-made Global Climate Change are jumping directly from the 'Propose Hypothesis' phase straight to the 'Develop Theory' conclusion in the process, and forgetting to loop back up to check their work.
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But I guess when you have so much invested in promoting the 'Theory of Climate Change' and you have staked your reputation on it, you do whatever you can to prove that yours is the ONLY plausible reason for what is going on with regard to our increasing (or maybe NOT so much increasing) temperatures.
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MY prediction for the upcoming weather pattern for the next six months?  Decreased temperatures, chance of cooling, shorter days, and increased chance of snow in Northern and Western parts of the Nation.  I say this not because I'm a scientist but rather because I've seen all this before.
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Kind of like when Time Magazine quoted scientists who predicted the Coming Ice Age waaaaay back in...   1977

      
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Like I said, you live long enough and you HAVE seen it all before.

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Oh, the other thing that ISN'T new is how people use the news to line their own pockets.

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You can call him Al. 
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