Re-Reiding Harry

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I wrote the post below in August of 2012, just prior to the 2012 Presidential Elections between President Obama and Mitt Romney.  Given Harry's recent 'retirement' announcement from the Senate (yeah, but he's still going to hang around for almost two full years - don't smile just yet), I thought this may be a good time to revisit the man, the myth, the legend who is 'Harry Reid'.   
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So sit back, relax, crack open an icy cold amber colored adult beverage this evening (while not using heavy equipment) and travel with me now back to 2012 when we all hoped for change and all we got was more 'chains' courtesy of Dirty Harry Reid and Barack Hussein Obama...
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(BONUS UPDATE:  I've included a new video clip at the end of this post which pretty much puts our pal Harry into context...)
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"Hey kids, does anyone know what today is, and why today is important?", asks the man in the brown suit, white shirt, and cow-spotted tie.
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Bobby raises a tentative hand, "It's Friday, right Mr. Moos?"
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"Yes Bobby, it IS Friday, but that's not why today is important.", says the man as he straightens his jacket and shifts in his chair.  "Anyone else want to take a guess as to why today is special?" he asks.
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The room is quiet as the children each look down the line of wooden desk chairs from one to another.  At the end of the row a girl in bright yellow shorts and blue top begins to wave her hand as if it has just been set on fire and she's trying to shake it out.
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"Mr. Moos, is it because today is "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day"?", she blurts this out as if the suspense is killing her.
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"Yes Tracy, today IS "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day", says the man as he tosses her a sleeved six-pack of Oreo cookies.  "And does anyone know why this makes today special?" he asks them.
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Tracy's hand shoots up again, "Because today is the day we can make stuff up and say it out loud for anyone to hear it - right!?!?  And, and, and, we don't have to tell anyone WHY we made it up, or if we actually heard it from someone for real, or if we, um, just pulled it out of the clear blue sky! 
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And then we tell the person we made the stuff up about to prove that what we said...  Isn't true.  Isn't that right Mr. Moos?!?!" the girl is now shaking in anticipation knowing the man has more Oreos stashed in his bag and she has answered the question correctly again.
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"You are exactly right Tracy - today is the day that we make stuff up and challenge people (whom we don't like) to prove that it isn't true!  Great answer, but sorry, no more Oreos for you!  
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Unfortunately, the FDA has determined that eating more than ten Oreos a week will make you fat, lazy, and quite possibly, a  future Welfare recipient.  Giving you more cookies is morally reckless.  I cannot, in good conscience, give you any more of those wonderful Oreos," he says this as he dons a pair of surgical gloves, reaches into his shopping bag, withdraws a head of Mizuna and tosses it to the girl.  
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"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asks.
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"Tracy, I have no idea - I don't like even touching the stuff - that's why I pack the gloves..."  Then he stands, pulls off his gloves, tosses them into the bag and walks away leaving the stunned kids wondering what happens next.
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"Mr. Moos, hey, Mr. Moos, so when do WE get to make stuff up?" Suzie asks.
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"Right after you get a lesson from the Pro.  This man IS a professional - don't try this at home kids..." He pulls a second full sleeve of Oreos from his jacket pocket and pops most of them into his mouth all at once.  
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He gags a bit as he chews, the lights dim, a computer whirs to life in the distance as a thin and whiny voice begins to pump from the tinny laptop speakers...
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LA Times Online, August 2, 2012:  (Harry Reid) The Democrat, in remarks to the Senate this morning, said "the word's out that he [Romney] hasn't paid any taxes for 10 years." Of course, that "word" has come from none other than Reid himself. Since last month, when he alleged in a Senate floor speech that Romney "basically paid no taxes in the prior 12 years," the Nevada lawmaker has continued to hammer away at the topic.
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Reid has said he learned about Romney’s taxes earlier this summer from an investor in Bain Capital who, he said, called his office to pass along the information. The senator has refused to identify the investor and has acknowledged that he can't be certain about the veracity of the charges he's been spreading.
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In a conference call with Nevada reporters on Wednesday, he broadened what he said were his sources for the contention that Romney was able to avoid federal taxes.
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"I have had a number of people tell me that," said Reid, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, while refusing to elaborate. "I don't think the burden should be on me," Reid told the home-state reporters. "The burden should be on him. He's the one I've alleged has not paid any taxes. Why didn't he release his tax returns?”
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On Thursday morning, Reid said that a nominee for a Cabinet position couldn't get confirmed by the Senate if he made as limited a release of tax information as Romney has thus far.
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"Let him prove that he has paid taxes, because he hasn't," Reid declared, then adding that “Mitt Romney makes more money in a single day than the average middle-class family makes in two years or more." .

 "Okay kids, go for it," commands a slightly-muffled (still chewing) voice from somewhere behind the PC monitor glowing in the darkened room.
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Tracy raises her hand and says that she heard that, "Harry Reid is a part-time owner and full-time customer of the World Famous Chicken Ranch Brothel.  Here he is seen 'making Googly eyes' at Vanessa WunderBottom - a well-known German prostitute revered for her uncanny ability of being able to pick up a TV remote and depressing the selector keys to access the local Cable Channel for CNN...  While never using her fingers. 
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She is the woman who encouraged Harry to begin parting his hair on the left (see prior image above) because, as she said, "My little Harry - everything about him is a little to the Left...  And I mean EVERYTHING."
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"I know that it's true because I heard someone talking about it on the downtown bus," she adds...

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Billy says, "I heard that Harry Reid beats his wife 'a lot'.  Then he photo-shops his head onto a much more 'manly body' so he can feel better about the quality of the beating.  You know, because he's not REALLY so tough. 
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When asked for a comment, Reid said, "If I want to beat my wife, that's up to me see, and if you don't like it, I can put my head on a freakin' Godzilla or something and really scare you big time!  If that doesn't work, I'll put my big ol' gourd on top of Nancy Pelosi's body - that'll scare the bejeezus out of you!  
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Oh wait, I've already put my head on Nancy, and um, - strike that..."  
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Billy finishes by saying that "It must be true, because I just read it right here, on the Internet."
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Jimmy states the following about Harry Reid, "My staff has always said, 'Don't say this,' but I'm going to say it again because it's so descriptive because it's true," Reid said.
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He referenced House Minority Leader John Boehner's comments about the long lines of tourists that stream into the Capitol complex, and said: "In the summertime, because (of) the high humidity and how hot it gets here, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol." 
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"Oops, sorry kids, this last one actually happened.  So let's call it a day, I'm hungry and I need to find a couple of milk shakes to wash these cookies down."

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"Did you save any cookies for us?" asks Jimmy.

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"No Jimmy, the cookies are for me.  As a matter of fact, I just polished off Tracy's cookies while she was writing her Reiding FunDuhMental comments above.  Instead, I'm taking all of you to Chick Fil-A; I hear there are many interesting 'things' to see there today..."

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"Yay, we love Chick Fil-A Mr. Moos!!!  You're the absolute best!!!"   

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"It goes without saying kids - but thanks for saying it all the same..." He says as he holds the door open for the kids leaving the classroom.

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 "Mr. Moos, will there be 'haters' over at the Chick Fil-A?" Tracy asks.

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"Not from our side kidd-o.  Not from our side.  We like everybody - even when we're making stuff up about them.  We do it to be funny, not to destroy anyone.  There is a difference."  

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Let us all have a moment of silence for the soon-to-be-late-lame Harry Reid as we watch him open up to the nice woman from CNN and admitting something that we all knew a few years ago already.
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Um, you may want to open a second beverage prior to viewing. 
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Trust me...
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"Romney didn't win, did he?"  

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Mr. Reid, you are one miserable POS.
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Have a nice day folks...
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He Just Keeps 'Reiding'

Anxious children sit in neat rows of desks within their dreary concrete and steel classroom and wait nervously for their substitute teacher to arrive for today's period 1 session.  Will it be Mrs. Wong, the part-time sub and full-time Progressive Liberal?  Oh, please, no.  The last time she was here, each had to write a paper on the vital importance of Green Energy and cite 'sources' (most of which necessarily came from the www.thinkprogress.org site) and then bring it home for their parents to read, and sign, to prove that the parents actually read it.  Yes, why just brain-wash the young when there's still a chance to reach the OLD at the same time?    
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Might it be Mr. Clepfer, the retired ex-New York State Worker who eats his wax-paper-wrapped sandwich from a greasy brown paper bag in his nondescript gray panel van in a parking space overlooking the playground?  
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Once again, oh, please, no.  The dude is weird.  The guy always carries balloons with him.  Is he a clown running from a circus, or is he some kind of, what's the word... "p-r-e-v-e-r-t"?  Regardless, the school district loves this guy, he's interesting to keep around, and he works CHEAP, it's almost like he'd spend time around the kids for FREE if given the chance.  The kids, however, know there's something not right with Mr. C, they're always on their best behavior in class because none of them want to spend time with him after the period ends.
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The door of the classroom swings open, a man in a gray suit, white shirt and red tie steps into the classroom and...
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"Mr. Moos!  Where have you been?!?!"  Tommy shouts.
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"Well, Tommy, I've been busy with family, I had my son back from Graduate School for a week, I spent another couple of weeks doing tax returns for the family and..."
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"Hey, Mr. Moos, did you lose some weight?"  Anna asks.
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"Yeah, just a little kidd-o, I've been going to the gym three to four days a week, eating a little healthier, and trying hard to live long enough to be a financial burden to future taxpayers, like, um, you guys!" The he drops his case onto the desk in the front of the room.  "So, what are you learning about in your class?  Where are you in your New York (rotten to the) common core curriculum?"
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A hand shoots up near the back of the room, "We're learning about the Senate Mr. Moos, it's kind of boring, and most of the stuff is from a long time ago, like when you were a kid, you know, a really long time ago." Reggie says.
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"Ah, yes, Reggie, the Constitutional Convention of 1787, I remember it well.  The summer was hot and muggy, and none of the air conditioning worked particularly well back then.  I was just a boy, about your age, and I was much thinner then, because you know, I was walking to school uphill both ways in the heat and snow every day and working on the family farm every night..." He says this as he drapes his suit jacket over the back of the teacher's chair, sits down, and looks at the students once again.  
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"Yup, things were hard back then.  You could depend on your family and your neighbors, the government stayed out of your life pretty much, because it wasn't as intrusive as it is today.  There was no such thing as 'Unemployment' because you had to work, farm, and often to barter to support your family.  If you didn't farm, work, or have a skill someone wanted, you had to rely on family or religious organizations for assistance - and most people were once too proud to do this."
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"Mr. Moos, what else was different about America when you were a kid?" Abigail asks.
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Well, when I was a kid, I remember that I named my favorite cow 'Bossie', and I did it without offending anyone..."  His eyes drift upward to the ceiling as a tear forms in the corner of his right eye.  He wipes the tear away casually, hoping that no one has noticed the depth of emotion which the memory triggered.
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"Was the cow a girl cow Mr. Moos?" Abigail asks.  "Because if it was a girl cow, you couldn't name her that today..."
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"Yes, Abby, she was a girl cow; she was an udderly wonderful girl cow." he responds as he opens the teacher's handbook lying on the desktop.  "So, what have you learned about the United States Senate in your class thus far?" he asks.
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Hands around the room shoot up and he points to the small quiet boy sitting directly in front of him.  "Yes Tim, what have you learned about the United States Senate so far?"
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"Well, I learned that people have to be thirty years old to run for the Senate.  Each Senator has a six-year term, and there are two Senators from each State.  AND my Dad tells me that the current leader of the Senate is Harry Reid and..." the boy's voice drops off as he sits down again.
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"Yes Tim, what about Harry Reid?  Why'd you get so very quiet?" Mr. M. asks as he looks into the boys reddening face.
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"My Mom told me that if you have nothing nice to say about someone, not to say anything at all."  Tim says as he lowers his eyes from the man in front of him to his own hands in front of him on his desk.
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"Oh, I see.  It sounds like you've been following the news lately?  You know, it's funny, but when I was substitute teaching your older brother a few years ago, I told him a story about Harry Reid back when President Obama was running for re-election in 2012.  I understand your reluctance to say any more than you have.  It's hard to say something nice about a man whose brain is full of spiders and whose heart is full of dark, soft, sucking things which make slurping sounds that can be heard from across the room.  Yeah, I get it." 
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"Really, you can HEAR them - out loud?" Tim asks.
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"You betcha.  Sometimes you can hear the slurping noises when he's speaking on the floor of the Senate.  And if you are watching very closely - when the light is just right, you can see his eyes change from a man's eyes, to those of a reptile..."
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"Hey Mr. Moos, is it true that Harry Reid takes money from his re-election funds and gives it to family members?" Mary asks.
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."Yes Mary, he sent $31,000 to his granddaughter's company to buy gifts for people, illegally spending the money from his campaign fund and paying it to family members." the man says.
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"If this is illegal, has he ever done it before?  How come he's not in jail?" Mary wonders.

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"Those are excellent questions, and the answer is that it IS illegal, he has done it before, and he's not in jail because he's a loyal Democrat," the man says with a serious expression on his face.
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"Come on, Mr. Moos, you can't tell me that he's done the same thing before, can you?  If he's the leader of the Senate wouldn't breaking the law be, um, you know, a BAD thing?" Mary asks.
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"Normally I would say yes.  But with the current crop of weasels we have in the Senate, breaking the law is something that they feel like they can do without getting punished.  As a matter of fact, for a Democrat in Congress breaking the law is a resume' enhancer.  In 2006 Harry Reid also used campaign funds to give Christmas gifts to employees at the Condominium he owns at the Ritz-Carlton in Washington, DC.  He said it was a mistake and that he would pay the money from his own funds, reimbursing the campaign fund."
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"But he DID pay back the money in 2006, Mr. Moos?  Abigail asks.
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"Sure, after he got caught, just like he's doing again this time." Mr. Moos responds.  "He normally pays up after he gets caught breaking the law."
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"So besides breaking Federal Campaign Law, what else has Harry Reid been up to?" Mary asks.
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"In 2006, a $286-billion federal transportation bill included a little-noticed slice of pork pushed by Reid which provided benefits for the casino town of Laughlin, Nevada.  The interesting thing is that Senator Reid owned 160 acres of land in the area and the subsequent Federal spending he promoted drove the price of his land holdings up significantly.  But as the Senator stated when questioned about his involvement in the earmark (pork) process, "There's nothing basically wrong with earmarks. They've been going on since we were a country."  Well maybe, but between 1995 and 2005 the number of earmarks grew from about 1,400 to over 15,000 in 2006."
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"So he used Federal money to make more money for himself?" asks Tim.
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"Yup kidd-o, you've got it.  But don't worry, it gets worse." says Mr. Moos.
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"How could that be?" Abigail asks Mr. M.
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"Abigail, I hate to be the one to tell you, but Harry Reid believes that your parents, and your grandparents just aren't smart enough to know what a great thing that he and the President has done for you..."
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"Aw, come on Mr. Moos, you're pulling my leg, right?  He wouldn't really think we're stupid, would he?" Abigail asks.
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"Just this week Harry Reid told the Press that, “We have hundreds of thousands of people who tried to sign up who didn’t get through.  There are some people who are not like my grandchildren who can handle everything so easily on the Internet, and these people need a little extra time. It’s not — the example they gave us is a 63-year-old woman came into the store and said, ‘I almost got it. Every time I just about got there, it would cut me off.’ We have a lot of people just like this through no fault of the Internet, but because people are not educated on how to use the Internet.”  Mr. Moos shrugs his shoulders and looks at the children in the classroom.  "So what do you think about Dirty Harry Mason Reid now?"
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"He's a freaking idiot."  Reggie murmurs aloud.  "My Grandmother is on Facebook all the time AND she buys most of my Christmas gifts on Amazon because it's easier for her to do it online."
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"Mr. Moos - if people are too stupid to use the Internet, why would the Federal Government launch the ObamaCare site ON the Internet in the first place?" asks Abigail.
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"That is an excellent question Abigail, unfortunately, I'm not the best person to answer it.  Have your parents call their local House representatives and State Senators to ask them.  After all, these people answer to you folks, if they don't like the answer they get, toss the bums out."  Mr. Moos sits back in his chair and glances up at the clock, "Hey what are you kids having for lunch today in the cafeteria?"
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"We bring our own lunches to school now," Reggie says.
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"How come?" asks Mr. Moos.
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"That new Michelle Obama Meal Plan?  It's like eating yard grass clippings, so we brown-bag our lunches in our back packs." Reggie says.  "You know, just like Mr. Clepfer does, except we're not 'weird' like he is."
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"Yikes, I'm sorry kids.  I didn't know things were that bad."
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"Ah, it's not all bad Mr. Moos, a bunch of us got together and we're selling those little bags of Doritos in the lunch room - we're making pretty good coin too."
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"Well played my tiny entrepreneurs - but how does the school staff feel about you guys selling food in the Cafeteria?" asks Mr. Moos.
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Reggie smiles as he leans in towards Mr. Moos desk and asks, "Who do you think is buying most of our sugary contraband snacks?"
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Mr. Moos smiles, closes the text book sitting on the desk in front of him and says, "You know, I think you kids are going to be just fine.  Yes, you're going to be just fine indeed..."  
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Why Would Harry Reid Want To Fund Cancer Research for Children when He Can Blame Dying Children On Republicans?

Thanks Mr. Reid, you've cleared up for this whole 'NIH Children's Cancer Research Funding' thing for me.  

Please ignore the post which appears directly below this one, I guess I was too stupid to understand that YOU (and only you) get to play God.

THIS JUST IN:  Harry, God is not amused.

Prepare to be smitten.

The Secret of NIH

Once upon a time there was a magical place called...  Washington, DC

It was a place of prosperity, wealth and power.  Its rulers treated all of Washington's subjects equally, whether they were rich or poor, weak or powerful.  

Everyone was treated equally by the Great and Powerful Rulers in Washington.  Birds flew, children played, women and men sang and, then...

The rats came.

As I type this, a barrage of lies are being spread across television screens, desktop computers, and mobile devices across the Nation.  How many lies are there?  You're better served in attempting to count the stars on a warm summer's night.  

The short answer to 'how many lies' is, of course, that there are too many lies to count.  

So I will settle in to address a singular lie which I came across earlier today.

This post, addressing this unique and malevolent lie, follows after the photo of the sick young child fighting for his / her life...

HUFFINGTON POST, October 2, 11:57am:  Government Shutdown Having A Very Real Impact On Children In Need Of Lifesaving Treatment


Think the government shutdown isn't having much of an effect on people's lives? Here's an affected population likely to change your mind.


Every week that the National Institute of Health (NIH) goes unfunded, an estimated 200 patients, 30 of whom are children, will be denied treatment at the facility's Clinical Center. Of those 30 children, many have cancer, said NIH Director Francis Collins to The Wall Street Journal.


Because the Clinical Center is a research hospital, the treatments available for diseases -- like childhood cancer, for instance -- are unavailable anywhere else. As a result, notes NIH literature, "[these patients] have no other alternatives."


According to an agency memo obtained by The Washington Post, patients admitted to the NIH Clinical Center prior to the shutdown will continue to receive treatment, but the memo also said the clinic "would not be accepting new patients or initiating new clinical protocols during a hiatus."


John Burklow, an NIH spokesman, told ABC News the Institute has had to furlough 14,700 employees, resulting in the indefinite postponement of several clinical trials.


"There are four new [clinical trials] ready to start next week," he told ABC, "and they won't be starting during the shutdown if we're still shut down.”


The Atlantic's Jordan Weissmann may have summarized the situation best when he wrote, "House Republicans have failed to stop Obamacare from going into effect so far, but sadly and ironically, their actions have prevented hundreds of people from getting healthcare from just one clinic."

Harry Reid:  "Mission Accomplished!"

Okay, I'm re-focusing, I'm taking a moment, breathing is returning to normal, and, oh yeah, that's better.  

Only one little, teeny, weeny, freaking glaring error in the above (and ongoing) damnation of those Republicans, whom Democrats (and the nice folks of the Media) claim are attempting to KILL CANCER-AFFLICTED CHILDREN in Washington, DC:

It isn't true.

New York's 'Daily News' cover, October 1, 2013

WASHINGTONEXAMINER.COM, OCTOBER 1, 5:10PM:  Republicans dig in on Day One of shutdown with plan to pass mini government spending bills



On Day One of the government shutdown, some were expecting House Speaker John Boehner to begin reducing Republican demands to defund or delay Obamacare. But he is instead digging in.


The House plans a Tuesday evening vote on three smaller spending bills that would re-open some parts of the government, including national parks. It's a move intended to increase pressure on Senate Democrats, who have so far rejected nearly every spending measure the House has proposed because each one attacked the new health care law.


House leadership aides tell the Washington Examiner that they now plan to send the Senate piecemeal spending bills that together achieve the Republican goal of funding parts of the government, but not those crucial to the implementation of Obamacare.


GOP leaders on Tuesday stood behind their latest proposal to pass a short-term spending bill that would delay the individual mandate in the health care law and eliminate special health insurance subsidies for Congress and their staffers.


The Senate early Tuesday rejected a House proposal to start formal House-Senate conference talks on the spending bill.


The government cannot fully re-open until Congress passes legislation to fund the 2014 fiscal year.


Senate Democrats reacted negatively to the House plan to pass piecemeal spending measures, noting that the idea was first proposed by Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, who led the fight against the health care reform law with a nearly 22-hour filibuster speech and who Democrats have portrayed as a right-wing extremist from the GOP's Tea Party wing.

...


"Sen. Ted Cruz is now going to pick his favorite federal agencies to reopen?" Senate Majority Whip Richard Durbin, D-Ill., responded when asked about the House plan. "There are a lot of federal agencies that need to be reopened. I suggest we open all of them."


Senate Democrats want the House to pass a bill to fund the entire federal government until Nov. 15 with "no political strings attached."


Durbin said he expects the GOP will feel pressured to pass such a measure in the coming days.


"Wait until people start looking at the retirement accounts and savings after a couple of days when the stock market declines," Durbin said. "They are going to have second thoughts about this wonderful Tea Party incident."

TEA Party Rally in DC

You know, I NEVER get tired of hearing Democrats, Liberals and Progressives use sick children, financial ruin, misery, and personal attacks to drive their agenda...

It's what keeps me typing during my lunch hour here at work.

The bottom line is that the House of Representatives has sent Harry Reid's Senate a series of Bills which WILL fund organizations like...  The National Institute of Health, the National Parks, the "Save the Inch-Worm Foundation" and the like.  

There is only one small problem however...

Harry Reid said 'No'.  (Then, of course he laughed as grabbed, and bit the head off, a small puppy which happened to be skittering by, much to the delight of other Democratic Senators gathered around the Senate Office Conference table with him.)   

Yeah, I can go there too.

So the bottom line is that the US House of Representatives has attempted to SAVE CHILDREN DYING OF CANCER by funding the NIH and Harry Reid decided that it was better to make a political point than to attempt to save the life of a child.  N-I-C-E


There's a special place in Hell for this guy, and given the company he keeps, I'm just hoping that it's got enough seating for all of his friends so he won't feel so alone over 'there'.  

They say that, "Misery loves Company".  Perhaps that's why Democrats like each other so very much?

Weasel rat bastards.  

Sorry, but these are the only words that come to mind...