No Birds - No Stone

Photo courtesy of 'GreenAutoBlog'
Seriously, not kidding...

Several months ago I posted an article called, "Two Birds One Stone".  The premise of the post was simple: 

The Obama Administration wanted to turn the economy around by having U.S. Citizens BUY more Chevy Volts (which 'might possibly' catch fire and burn your house down as you sleep). 

Once your house is gone, you (assuming you are not a crispy critter in an upstairs bed) will contract with a construction guy / gal to rebuild your charred and damaged home.  In addition to propping up Government Motors' financials you'll also be doing your part to bring Construction Numbers back up prior to the next election, assuring four more years of "Hope and Flames" (oh, sorry, that last entry SHOULD read "Hope and Change"). 

The Two Birds One Stone scenario be illustrated mathematically by the following equation:

One Chevy Volt + One Siemens Car Charger = $200,000+ of Economic Stimulus 

As illustrated above, your initial Volt investment of $46,000 will 'possibly' yield a 400+% return on investment (ROI) for the US economy.  It should be noted that this is a MUCH greater return than we've seen with Abortion ROI's over the past several years from Planned Parenthood.  

Perhaps if the Federal Government provided Chevrolet Volt vehicles to pregnant women considering aborting their unborn child we'd have the Economic Trifecta.  The "Three Bird - One Stone" ROI model in which we would reduce funding to Planned Parenthood, sell a GM vehicle AND stimulate the construction industry simultaneously!

Alas, this uber-potent Economic Stimulus model will never come to pass.

Why?

Oh, sure, you want to know WHY?

I learned this morning that there is NOTHING wrong with the Chevrolet Volt.  No, really, I did - nothing wrong at all with the Volt. 

For the past several months I was giving credit to the Obama Administration for coming up with its ONLY innovative method of stimulating the economy and turns out...  

Well, suffice to say that their Innovative Job Creation counter remains firmly set somewhere in the -2,200,000 range.    

According to a Bloomberg article this morning:  U.S. regulators, who ended their investigation yesterday into the Chevrolet Volt, said electric- powered vehicles do not pose a greater risk of fire than gasoline cars. 

“Based on the available data, NHTSA does not believe that Chevy Volts or other electric vehicles pose a greater risk of fire than gasoline-powered vehicles,” the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said in an e-mailed statement.

The conclusion by NHTSA came two weeks after General Motors Co. (GM) told Volt owners to bring the vehicles to dealerships for repair. 

The government started investigating the Volt after a side- impact crash test in May led to a fire three weeks later. During that test, the lithium-ion battery pack broke open and coolant leaked into the battery. When the car was physically rotated as part of the test, more coolant leaked into a circuit board, leading to a fire. NHTSA replicated the fire in November and started an official probe Nov. 25. 
...

The Volt blaze had little effect on sales of the vehicles, so there may not be any significant improvement with the government completing its investigation, said Jeremy Anwyl, vice chairman of auto-researcher Edmunds.com, in an e-mail.

“Volt buyers tend to be passionate about their vehicle,” Anwyl said. “They really want an electrified vehicle. The small risk represented by the potential for fire wouldn’t have been an obstacle for this group of buyers.”

“We see gasoline powered vehicles blow up in the movies all the time,” he said. “A vehicle with batteries catches fire and it is portrayed as a big deal.”  

PAUSE

PAUSE

PAUSE


PAUSE

Sorry, I was shootin' milk all over the keyboard with that last quote.  I'm okay now, I just thought it was 'kind of' funny that a guy defending the Chevrolet Volt would use, "We see gasoline powered vehicles blow up in movies all the time" as his primary defense of a car which has, on several occasions (NOT MENTIONED in this report), caught fire and burned down homes while people slept. 

This 'other' issue, of course, has been linked to the battery charging station and NOT the batteries themselves.  But I guess that's all the NHTSA was concerned with in releasing the 'ALL CLEAR!' declaration for the vehicle which the Federal Government (NHTSA) owns 32% of.

Not that there might be any perceived conflict of interest THERE...

General Motors states that they have sold 8,000 Volts since its introduction in November, 2010, for an average of 525 cars per month.  Sales numbers like these have not been seen since the introduction of Neptune Manufacturing's "Submarine Screen Door" back in 1971. 

By way of comparison, the Chevy Cruze, introduced last year, sold 230,000 units during the same period.  Of course, at less than one-third the cost of the Chevrolet Volt, this shouldn't really come as that big of a surprise to anyone who has ever had to make a car purchase decision before. 

If the two vehicles deliver roughly the same gas mileage (they do) and provide transportation from Point A to Point B...  WHY would you pay 3x the cost for a Volt?

Oh, that's right, because the guys over at Green Auto Blog told you to - right?    

Good luck with that.  When YOU get yours, remember to place your charging station OUTSIDE of your home, preferably on an exterior concrete wall.  Last time I checked, concrete does not burn.  As for your Chevrolet Volt vehicle, battery, and charger?  Well, they are NOT made of concrete, are they?    

If Government Motors truly wanted a cost-efficient, reliable, all-electric vehicle, they could have looked no further than right here...

THE ROBERTS ELECTRIC VEHICLE

Built in 1896, the Roberts Electric Vehicle gets over 40 Miles Per Charge -- Same as the Chevrolet Volt!
Only major differences are that it's 115 Years Old and has not (yet) burst into flames

The Roberts Electric Vehicle - Now there's:  "Charge You CAN Believe In!"

For over 11 Decades.

Have a nice weekend folks! 

Drive safely.

Two Birds : One Stone

Two Birds & One Fast-Moving Stone

"Ewwwww, Moos, that's disgusting!!!"

"Come on, it's not like they were REAL birds...  The digital editing isn't even that impressive.  Sheesh!"

Moo-ve along, nothing more to see here.

It has just occurred to me that:  I have the answer. 

Of course, this depends upon what the question is... 

Jump inside my head for a little bit (you might want to bring a flashlight with you - it's dark and scary in here AND I think I saw a spider a moment ago). 

Ready?

Here we go...

Cranial Insertion Begins in 3, 2, 1...

Moos:  "Hello?  Are you there"

You:  "Yeah, yeah, I'm here, what's up?"

Moos:  "I need to show you two things.  They are not scary.  Well,  at least not as scary as that HUGE hairy spider drifting down on a web to suck the marrow from your bones..."

You:  "There's really a spider in here?!?!"

Moos:  "P-s-y-c-h!!!

You:  "Okay, so what did you want to tell me?  It'd better be good."

Moos:  "I figured out how to stimulate the economy utilizing money which we've already spent."

You:  "Okay, I'm listening."

Moos:  "Here's the deal - remember when the Feds spent all that money to bail out General Motors and Chrysler?"

You:  "Yeah, it was $67 BILLION, right?"

Moos:  "Nah, it was closer to $80 BILLION, but why quibble over pennies on the dollar?  But here's the big news, are you ready for it?"

You:  "Yes, it would be nice if you'd get to some kind of 'point' by tomorrow afternoon - I've got an appointment to get my back waxed..."

Moos:  "Oh, thanks so much for sharing.  Get out of my cranium - I thought that spider was a freak of nature."

You:  "Can't leave, I'm here now, what'cha got for me?  What's the big revelation?"

Moos:  "Not one revelation - t-w-o revelations!  Follow with me now..."

REVELATION ONE:  The Obama Administration encouraged General Motors to develop the Chevrolet Volt with your tax dollars, consistent with the Administration's 'Green Energy' theme.  By all accounts, sales of this $46,000 Electric Car / Hybrid have been 'unbelievable'!  (Please keep in mind that 'Unbelievable' is NOT always a good thing.)

According to the National Legal and Policy Center: 

The Toyota Pius, which had supply hampered by a massive earthquake and tsunami, managed to outsell the Volt by a margin of 10 to 1. Curiously, the numbers looked somewhat similar, with the exception of a missing 0 from the Volt numbers. Prius sold 11,008 compared to the Volts 1,108. Sales for the year stand at 104,251 for the Prius and 5,003 for the Volt. And the Prius does not benefit from a $7,500 tax credit for buyers like the Volt does.

The actual supply of Volts is also a source for debate. GM claims a 72 day supply of inventory for the Volt. Cars.com shows 3,537 Volts available for sale. VIN numbers are listed for these vehicles. Either GM is not telling the truth about Volt supply, or Chevy dealerships are (perhaps illegally) advertising vehicles that are not truly for sale. The most likely scenario, in my opinion, is that GM is not counting any vehicles that have been used as demos as inventory, even though these vehicles are now available for sale.

If the cars.com number is a more accurate number for inventory, the Volt would have over a three month supply available. Compare this to the 11,677, or one month supply, of Toyota Prius vehicles listed on cars.com and the low supply defense for poor Volt sales further erodes.

Revelation One Summary:  In spite of a $7,500 tax credit, consumers don't want a $46,000 vehicle which can go 35 miles per charge.  And in gasoline mode, well, the 37 MPG (Premium Fuel Required) combined mileage only a 'bit' better than the Chevrolet Cruze - which sports a respectable combined MPG of 31 running on Regular Grade Gasoline. 

The main difference between buying a Volt and a Cruze Eco is, of course, that the Cruze Eco costs about $19,500 with 'desired options' (MSRP:  $16,500).  I'm assuming that this $26,500 cost savings when you buy a Cruze as opposed to the Volt would buy a LOT of gasoline over the lifetime of the vehicle...   But hey, that's just me.  I don't want to over-think this.  

Bottom-line here is that the Federal Government has already placed your investment 'bet' for you regarding what type of automobile they believe you ought to be driving.  Got it?  

In conclusion, we ALL need to purchase a $46,000 Chevrolet Volt because it's the right thing to do, we'll save the planet, AND it will help General Motors continue to be a profitable company, to hire and to keep more union employees, etc.  

This is Part 1 of my plan to fix the US Economy.  


Oddly enough, it also ties in very nicely with...  Part Two!

REVELATION TWO:  As everyone knows, the economy continues to be sluggish due to a real 'lull' within the Construction segment.  There are other 'lulls' out there of course, but I'd like to keep this post down to two revelations, lest I risk this post going on clear through your 'back-waxing' appointment - and neither of us want to be here to see that...

The second cure for the ailing US economy?  You're going to like this one a LOT!

 
That's right, it's a Chevy Volt parked in a garage in which a fire started!

You:  "Huh?"

Moos:  "I told you that you'd have to follow along - keep up or get left behind."

You:  "Huh?"

Ah, never mind.  Okay, so here's the deal:  There have been 'at least' two instances where garages have caught fire and burned down around... 

The All-New Chevrolet Volt!!!

Could this be right?

Once again excerpting an article found on the National Legal and Policy Center online: 

Cars in Depth reports that the Chevy Volt and it's charging station are suspected as possible causes for a house fire that started in the garage of a Mooresville, NC home. According to the report, investigators found a Volt plugged into a charging station located in the burned out garage. The Iredell County Fire Marshal's office investigating the fire states, "The charging station was in the known area of origin, but the cause of the fire has not been officially determined."

...

The first fire  that occurred in a Connecticut garage where a Chevy Volt was being charged (in photo above) was quickly glossed over with a dismissal of anyone who mentioned that the Volt may have been the cause, even after the vehicle ignited for a second time after the fire was out. While there may not have been conclusive evidence that the Volt started the fire, the speed in which the fire department investigating the incident stepped away from the investigation and allowed GM to take over raises concerns.

There have also been reports of defective Volt charging cords overheating, as reported in this cars.com piece, that have gotten little publicity. The question arises, just how far will GM, the Obama Administration and green ideologues go to prove that the Chevy Volt (as well as electric cars in general) is the future of the American auto industry?

Fluffing up the perception of huge demand for the Volt is one thing, but there should be no compromises when it comes to the safety of Americans who buy into the hype of the Chevy Volt and purchase the vehicles.

All taxpayers are paying to subsidize purchases of the Volt and plug-in charging stations; it would be a shame to see that the money usurped is putting people at risk. And I'm sure those burning garages leave a bit of a carbon footprint on our environment...

Revelation Two Summary:  In addition to being GREAT for GM, Union Workers, and the 'Green Team' in the White House, just think what financial impact selling TENS of THOUSANDS of these vehicles to citizens across the United States will have on the Construction Industry! 

Who needs 'New Construction' when out-of-work carpenters, drywallers, and other craftsman can be put to work 24x7 rebuilding homes damaged by the Federally-Subsidized Chevrolet Volt?!?!

Just think of it, smoke billowing in all directions, as far as the eye can see...

"Honey, where'd you park the car???
Never mind, I think we found it..."

Ah...  Breath-taking, simply breath-taking...

Just think of the Spirit of Renewal our country will experience once these 'Insta-Light' vehicles are placed into the unsuspecting citizen's home! 

Oh, sure, some people might DIE, but hey, it's all for the 'Greater Good', right?

Just think of the Long-Term Financial Benefits to our Nation!

• We'll no longer have to find, kill, and squeeze dinosaurs for their filthy 'fossil fuels'!
• Thousands of additional skilled union craftsman will be hired to produce these new reliable, green, and potentially flammable new vehicles!
• We'll hire MORE unionized Police Officers to patrol neighborhoods to be alert to 'smoking garages' and put in place thousands of additional card-carrying unionized Fire Fighters to put out the flames!
• The Federal Government will outlaw ANY vehicle which is UL (Underwriter's Laboratories Listed) Tested to assure 'Maximum Sustainability' of the Economy's New Growth Engine - the Chevrolet Volt!

I'm sorry, do you have a Kleenex?  I find my vision is blurred from the joy I have found here...

You want to FIX the economy long-term?  We don't need tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans!  We don't need Spending Cuts!  We need wealthy, patriotic, fire-proof Americans purchasing Federally-Subsidized Chevrolet Volts!!!

Yeah, that's the ticket. 

AND if this isn't enough to convince you to purchase a new Chevrolet Volt...

Check this out:  A Rate Ate My Chevy Volt

Feel the joy...