Newer Dogs - Older Tricks...

The following post was updated most-recently on December 3, 2011 when the Unemployment Rate 

'Unexpectedly' fell to 8.5% after the economy had 'Unexpectedly' shed 315,000 workers out of the U.S. Workforce.

This past week the Bureau of Labor Statistics released the numbers for January. Once again the Unemployment Number fell 'Unexpectedly'. The most 'Unexpected' component of the most recent number is that an additional 1.2 MILLION U.S. Workers have 'Disappeared' from the U.S. Workforce.

QUESTIONS:

1. Are U.S. Workers REALLY disappearing at a rate of 38,710 per day?
2. Are aliens AMONG U.S.?
3. If folks falling 'out of the workforce' ARE, in fact, disappearing in bulk... why IS the unemployment rate still so HIGH???

All questions will be answered, but you'll need to re-think logic as you have always known it.

At the signpost up ahead, it's the Third-Edition of "America Loses Several Hundred Thousand Jobs" post. Good luck, you're going in.

p.s.: Wherever 315,000 'missing Americans' was mentioned in the earlier post, I have increased this number by a factor of 4 to support the most recently announced 1.2 MILLION missing American Worker figure quoted last week. 

(If all these people are gone... Can I have one of their cars???)

Heard around the Blogyard...  
Madison asks, "Psst, Bossie, have you seen Buttercup lately?"  

"Nah, I thought she was with YOU...", says Bossie.  

"That's weird, I found her stall empty and she didn't touch her dinner last night."  

"Maybe she's over with Ferdinand's "gettin' busy"?", asks Bossie.  

"Nah, that Ferdinand's a freak, hanging out under the cork tree all day. Buttercup says he makes her uncomfortable. That bull's so dang peaceful - you'd hardly think he was a bull. He's more like a Golden Retriever." Madison says.  

"With horns!", shouts Bossie.  

"It's a shame, the poor boy doesn't know how to use them." Madison laughs as she trots away. The blogyard fades away as today's post begins anew...  

Yes, it's true. Disappearances like the one above have taken place all across America during the past thirty days. Is anyone talking about it? NOOOOOOOOOO! And why not?  

It's a conspiracy man. An inter-galactic conspiracy of Biblical proportions!!!  
 (Obligatory Right-Wing Rant Section to make left-leaning readers feel more at home)  

Huh? How do I know that people are being sucked off the planet? The nice folks at the Bureau of Labor Statistics told me so, that's how. Yeah, they reported yesterday that 1,200,000 people were 'OUT' of the workforce. 

With fewer people 'IN' the workforce it means that the unemployment rate MUST go down. Right? Fewer people 'ready, willing, and able' to work makes YOUR employment opportunities that much better!!!  

Yeah, so what what happened to roughly 1.2 MILLION US Workers (since last month)?  

Two words for you: "Space-Alien Abduction"! (Joke, that's four words, if you, um, count the hyphen.) Yeah, could be, but the actual 'disappearing workers' thing from the BLS IS two words, the first word begins with 'Bull' and the second word ends with '__ __ it'.  
(Fill in your own blanks on this one.)  

From the Bloomberg article found online: U.S. Jobless Rate Unexpectedly Declines to 8.3% President Barack Obama said the drop in the jobless rate is a sign the recovery is getting stronger, and extending a cut in the payroll tax will provide more fuel for the economy. He went on to say, "Let me be clear, if we clap REALLY REALLY hard; the Fairies who control our Economy will be once again healthy enough to reduce our employment rate to 5.5% like it was when GW Bush left office."

While the last quote above is NOT, hmm, let's say 'factually attributable to the President', I do believe that President Obama believes in Fairies. 

Why? Because Fairies believe in President Obama. of course! Yes, the wee folk who flit from tree to tree spreading magical goodness across the land believe in President Barack Hussein Obama.  

Unfortunately, he lost the Minotaur vote yesterday when the Senate said 'Bestiality' was pretty much cool from a legislative perspective. And as we all know, Minotaurs have no use for, well, you know... "Hey buddy, get off my _ _ _!" 

No, the bestiality thing is not cool with minotaurs - at all. Mermaids, to date, have been relatively quiet on the subject of the President's re-election chances, but King Neptune is still really P/O'd about that Gulf spill from Earth Day, 2010. Yes, President Obama, you will receive NO Mermen votes in November of 2012 (outside of Illinois, of course. Dead Mermen (and others) vote Democratic up there).

So, the unemployment fantasy continues its onward trek towards November, 2012.  For the past six months I've heard that no President has ever been elected with an unemployment rate of greater than 8% and now, magically, improbably, and unexpectedly, the rate drops a full three-tenths of a percent to 8.3% because...  

1,200,000 People have disappeared from the work force. And, 243,000 Jobs were added (most, admittedly, from part time, seasonal employment according to the article quoted).  

Stunning, isn't it? Did you see THAT coming? Actually, I did. (Nana-nana-boo-boo!)  

I even wrote about how the Department of Bureau and Labor Statistics gets all 'jiggy' with numbers when it needs to. And, a long time ago, back in February 10, 2010 (this seems a REALLY long time ago when measured in "Obama Years" I wrote...  

When the most recent unemployment rate was announced (dropping the Unemployment from 9.4% to 9.0% with VIRTUALLY no job growth) you may have wondered, "How could this BE? How could the economy not add jobs but the unemployment rate went DOWN???"

Well, it's a 'Math Thing' again. It works like this:  

EXAMPLE A: If you have 900 people employed, your unemployment rate is 10%.  

EXAMPLE B: Now assume that the number of 'total jobs' available DROPS to 925. If you have 850 people employed, your unemployment rate is 8.1% So, even though you have FEWER people working, your unemployment rate goes DOWN.

This, and the following, accounts for our most recent reduction in the percentage of unemployed. Confused yet? Oh, you will be... Trust me... You can read it in its entirety by clicking HERE.  

But after all, today is a Monday, and reading this fact-based series of Mathematical exercises will only make you sad. Upon reading, you'll learn that everything in Washington in a shell game.  

And in DC... They hold your nuts in their hands. Turn your head and cough.

It's all you can do until November 2012. THEN, the nuts will be in your hands, won't they?  

Oh yes, they will, and get ready to squeeze them hard. As we wrap today's exchange, I want to confirm that no Minotaurs were injured in the generation of today's post.  

However, this woman? She's in BIG trouble...

 

A Joke. A Gag. An Ignorant Hag.

"The Joke"

"The Gag"

Two morons were walking along railroad tracks in Northern Pennsylvania.  After a while of walking and enjoying the sights they came to a train trestle spanning a large river.  "You think we should try to cross this here river?" Moron One asks. 

"Well, if we don't cross this river, then we ain't going to get where want to get to..." says Moron Two. 

"Yup, I'm guessin' that's about right," responds Moron One.  "We'd better get started then.  Just be careful whilst we're crossing over this river - it looks deep and fast-moving."

So the morons begin their trek across the train trestle to get to the other side.  Half-way across Moron Two totters towards the right-hand side of the track.  "Look out, you could fall!" shouts Moron One.

Surely enough, Moron Two flails his hands to the sky and falls off the trestle into the dark, fast-moving river below.

Moron One looks at the water rushing below him, shrugs, and continues walking alone to the other side.  

Question:  WHY did this happen?

Answer:  Because One Moron was a little more-on than the other.

(Smooth segue coming...)

"The Ignorant Hag"

Q:  How much money would you have charged to
complete that left-leg flower tattoo???
A:  Ain't enough money in the world...

Ah, yes, time for the important news about Presidential Politics and the FIRST real challenge to President Obama...

While Republican Presidential Candidates bludgeon each other in public, a bold figure, an epic leader, and a woman who slept with John Goodman for multiple seasons - steps forward to take her rightful place in history!!!

According to the Associated Press:  WASHINGTON (AP) — Roseanne Barr said Thursday she's running for the Green Party's presidential nomination — and it's no joke.

The actress-comedian said in a statement that she's a longtime supporter of the party and looks forward to working with people who share her values. She said the two major parties aren't serving the American people.

"The Democrats and Republicans have proven that they are servants -- bought and paid for by the 1 percent -- who are not doing what's in the best interest of the American people," Barr said.

Occupy Wall Street protesters popularized the "We are the 99 percent" slogan in their fight against economic disparity and perceived corporate greed.
...
Barr said she has been fighting for working-class families and women for decades.

"I will barnstorm American living rooms," she said in a candidate questionnaire submitted to the Green Party. "Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election."

Barr's hit TV sitcom "Roseanne" aired from 1988 to 1997 and earned her an Emmy and a Golden Globe. She played a wise-cracking mom in the comedy about a blue-collar family. Barr has a 46-acre macadamia nut farm in Hawaii. 

(Moos Note:  Please pay particular attention to this last line - Yes, she owns a 46-acre 'nut' farm in Hawaii.  Yet one more reason I pray nightly for the Earth's Mantle to shift swallowing these sugar-cane-and-pineapple-laden islands back to the watery deep from where they rose.  Nothing GOOD ever came from Hawaii...)


But wait, what's this???  You don't believe that Roseanne Barr is qualified to be President of the United States?!?!? 

How dare you (sir or madame)!!!

Just take a moment to review a few of the insightful fact-filled posts on RoseAnne's official blog, RoseanneWorld:  (And no.  I'm not making ANY of these up...)

9-11 firefighters for truth:  "Cheney pulled it- and the building was demolished-it had been wired before 911--so that House of Bush and Cheney's Haliburton could use and hide behind the horror to erase their financial crimes-ie-that they used taxpayer money to build Dubai-the international center of the Child Sex Slave Trade. there you have it. Pedos at the top=Satan."

war against females: china will deserve what it gets:  "too many males--and all that entails-"

brilliant analysis, Jon Gold:  "PLEASE READ THIS!"  (A deliciously detailed delusion of the 911 Conspiracy)

army corps of engineers' negligence caused the damage of Katrina (organized genocide?):

Us judges sell children for money:

heritage foundation : pro rape and pedophiles:  "  The right wing are predators and talibangelists, who can't muster even a distant feeling of empathy for any living man woman or child unless they can use it as an excuse to go to war and kill."

911-er writes me:  "Sick of these over educated white men talking about nothing.
RW WORLD RESPONSE: I "HERE" YOU! TOO MUCH EDUCATION IS BAD! 9-11ers are against the wrong people it seems! Attack the right, not the left! Are 9-11ers counter intelligence operatives?"

With this 'arse'-anal of ammunition at her disposal during a debate between herself, the President, and the Republican Nominee...  I'm thinking that President Obama will lose about 60% of his base.

Run Roseanne.  Run... 




Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

"Hey Man, You Got the Stuff" Part II

LAUSD 'LA Menu' Healthy Food Choice Items

FRIDAY (THE DAY AFTER THURSDAY)...

Tommy says, "Cheech, can you give me a ride into LA?  I need to pick up my kid for lunch."

Cheech pulls the Chevy hard to the right and stands on the brakes, "No man, you can't eat your kid for lunch, that would be wrong!  What's wrong with you man?!?!"

"No, I said I need to pick my kid up for lunch - you know, I have to take him to lunch." Tommy explains.

"Oh, that's a completely different thing, I guess, right?  But wait, why do you have to take him to lunch, don't they feed him those Free Lunches at school?" Cheech asks.

"I don't know man, they USED to feed him at lunch - but now he wants to spend time eating with me all the time.  It's kind of weird - I never wanted to eat with my Dad."

"Tommy, your Dad used to bite the heads off chickens in that traveling Geek Show of his - nobody wanted to eat with YOUR Dad.  He made the local kids really nervous..." Cheech says.  "Do you remember what happened to that Beagle puppy you got for your sixth birthday?"

"Snack Wrap?"

"Was that his name?" asks Cheech.

"No.  That's what happened to him." answers Tommy.  "Yeah, my Dad was 'different'." 

"So why won't your kid eat the Free Food at the school?" asks Cheech a second time.

"He says they're trying to poison him there.  They give the kids a handful of sticks and twigs wrapped with a celery stalk and tell them it's lunch."

"Any mushrooms?" asks a hopeful Cheech.

"Sometimes, but they're not the right kind of mushrooms." answers Tommy.

"Bummer."

"Huge bummer..."

Cheech pulls his Chevrolet back into traffic and drives towards town.  Tommy falls asleep moments later and dreams of a Big Mac marinated in Hershey's Chocolate Sauce with a side-order of Nabisco Sugar Wafers.  

In the deep corners of his subconscious - a beagle bays...  Then, all is silence with the exception the sounds of a tap-dancing mushroom crunching on a celery stick... 


Well, I told you we'd get back to it. Not as quickly as I wanted, but here we are again, nonetheless.  I promised yesterday morning that I'd tell you what happens when well-meaning tyrants determine what other people, may, or perhaps, may not be allowed to do as it pertains to their dietary habits. 

It's a story of intrigue, political correctness, starving the poorest Americans, and black market burritos. 

It is the story of...

The Los Angeles Unified School District LA Cafe'!

The following excerpts are from the shocked, confused, and 'not getting it at all' folks at Natural News Online:   (NaturalNews) A massive school lunch menu overhaul implemented by the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) in California last year has been met with widespread resistance among district students. CBS 2 in Los Angeles reports that many students are actually choosing to go hungry rather than have to eat revamped, healthier meal offerings like vegetarian curry or quinoa salad.  (Moos Note:  Vegetarian curry and Quinoa Salad?!?!  Yum-O!!!)

Last summer, LAUSD's school board voted to eliminate unhealthy meal options like corn dogs, processed chicken nuggets, and sugar-laden flavored milk beverages in favor of alternative, healthier meal options that incorporate more whole, unprocessed food items. The decision was inspired by celebrity chef Jamie Oliver's show Food Revolution, which at one time featured an LAUSD school on its show, until the permit was revoked.

Many people initially praised LAUSD's decision to alter its lunch menus as a giant step forward towards improving the health of the district's schoolchildren. But few anticipated that the students would ultimately reject these new offerings en masse, choosing instead to smuggle in unhealthy snacks from home, and even trade things like ramen noodles on newly formed and thriving "black markets."  (Moos Note:  Ah, evil 'Free Market Forces' at work again!!!  Curse you Bill of Rights and your 'Freedom to Eat Food You Don't Hate' amendment, curse you to HECK!!!)


Reports indicate that many students have been throwing away their entire meals, including their unopened cartons of plain milk product. And those that are unable to snag a high-demand item from the junk food black market to replace those meals were simply not eating, which was leading to widespread malnutrition at many of the district's schools.

Conditions have gotten so bad that the district is now planning to re-implement many of the menu items that it offered previously, but with supposedly healthier ingredients. A healthier type of pizza will be returning to lunchrooms, for instance, as will hamburgers and cheeseburgers. Dishes like brown rice cutlets and quinoa salad, on the other hand, are getting nixed.

No matter what LAUSD serves, it is required to serve a certain amount of it to students, and those students are required to accept that amount, even if they do not want it.

This is why so much of the undesired food has ended up in trashcans rather than given to somebody else. But ABC 7 News in Los Angeles recently reported that some students are now volunteering to help give these leftover meals to those in need.  (Moos Note:  No mention here of whether 'those in need' are rejecting the sticks and twigs also.  But I have my suspicions  arethat those 'in need' are looking for other folks 'much more in need' to pawn the "Brown Rice Cutlets" off on...  Somebody help me out here but the last time I saw the word 'Cutlet' used on a menu it was immediately preceded by the word, 'Veal'.  Veal, of course, is a young cow forced to stay in a box up until the moment of slaughter.  If these heartless California Liberals are keeping Brown Rice (do I sense Racial Overtones here???  Hmm?) standing on end in a box, I'm gonna HURT somebody!!!  Nobody abuses RICE like this while I'm around!  Poor little brown babies all standing on end in a BOX in the DARK!!!  I'm angry I tell ya' - angry!)

The second-largest school district forces kids to eat 'healthy foods' (yes, this district is one of the ones which banned Chocolate and Strawberry Milks last year) and the kids?  The kids just say, "No," collectively, resoundly, and resolutely.

Now there's "Hope" I can believe it.

There's more, but once again, the time clock's dyin' to be punched, and after reading about how Rice is treated in California, I'm a guy in a punchin' mood.  I feel a Part III coming on, but for now, we end this post as the lights of a 1964 Chevrolet Impala drive into the distance as Tommy and Cheech attempt to rescue the boy from the 'Sticks and Twigs Lunch Wardens'...

Happy trails folks!









  

"Hey Man, You Got the 'Stuff'?"

"Hey man, you got the stuff?" Tommy asks.

"Um, what stuff you talkin' bout man?  I don't know nothing about no stuff..." Cheech responds.

"Come on, you know what I'm talking about - the GOOD stuff.  I need it bad man, I got a monkey on my back the size of Paula Deen."  Tommy says.

"Oh, oh, THAT stuff?  No way man, I don't have any of that.  THAT stuff will KILL you deader than Taylor Hicks' singing career."

"Okay man, you got any virgin-pure-uncut Kosher salt?" Tommy leans in as he asks this last question. 

"No way man, this is California.  That stuff will get you 3 - 5 in the Big House,"  Cheech answers.

Tommy lowers his eyes and asks Cheech quietly, "Transfats?  You got any transfats man?" I'm Jonesin' for some transfats.  I haven't had any since 2010.  Come on man, you gotta help out your bro' on this one..."

"I've got no transfats, I've got no salt, I've got no sugar, you hear me?  All I've got are these semi-automatic weapons I bought at the high school and a couple of rocks of crack.  You want those?"

"Nah, that STUFF will kill you."  Tommy says as he stares down at his hands folded on his lap. 

"I think there's a Smoothie Shack up there, you want a Cucumber-Tomato-Carrot-Dill Smoothie or somethin'?"

"No.  I'll just get out of the car and graze on the grass along the shoulder of the highway..." Tommy says.

"Okay, just make sure you don't eat any weed..."

The scene fades as today's post begins

Sugar - The "New Crack"
Eat it, baby, eat it!!!

From the San Francisco Chronicle Online:  Like alcohol and tobacco, sugar is a toxic, addictive substance that should be highly regulated with taxes, laws on where and to whom it can be advertised, and even age-restricted sales, says a team of UCSF scientists.

In a paper published in Nature on Wednesday, they argue that increased global consumption of sugar is primarily responsible for a whole range of chronic diseases that are reaching epidemic levels around the world.

Sugar is so heavily entrenched in the food culture in the United States and other countries that getting people to kick the habit will require much more than simple education and awareness campaigns, the UCSF scientists said.
...
It's going to require public policy that gently guides people toward healthier choices and uses brute force to remove sugar from so many of the processed foods we eat every day, said Dr. Robert Lustig, a pediatric endocrinologist at UCSF.

"The only method for dealing with this is a public health intervention," Lustig said in an interview. "Everyone talks about personal responsibility, and that won't work here, as it won't for any addictive substance. These are things that have to be done at a governmental level, and government has to get off its ass."

...
In their paper, they argue for taxes on heavily sweetened foods and beverages, restricting advertising to children and teenagers, and removing sugar-ladened products from schools, or even from being sold near schools. They suggest banning the sale of sugary beverages to children.

Schmidt noted that those policies could nudge people toward healthier choices - but only if, at the same time, healthier choices are made widely available. Such policies have worked in reducing alcohol consumption and smoking rates, she said. There's no reason they can't work with sugar too.

Lustig said he realizes that there will likely be heavy resistance to the idea of largely removing sugar from American diets - and resistance not just from the food and beverage industries, but from the public at large.  (Moos Note:  Hey, did they just slip a PUN in here?  "The public 'at large'?")

Yes, there is more to this, but I'm out of time.  Work calls and I must answer.  But here's something to think about while I'm gone:  What happens when you 'Nudge people toward healthier choices?'  I know.  Later today, you will too...

Have a nice day!

Eat at your own risk...  Um, while you can.