Turning Japanese

As some of you already know, my middle son, whom we'll hypothetically call "Jon", finished Navy Boot Camp at Great Lakes, Illinois Mid-March, 2011. 

This is that boy...

He then traveled from the frozen wasteland of Illinois to San Antonio, Texas (can I have a "Yee-Haw"!?) for Navy "A-School" training. 

He's been enjoying the freedom associated with being OUT of Boot Camp and has been doing 'really well' in A-School.  Surprisingly, it turns out that he likes being able to use a phone, fish, watch TV, eat real food, and view DVD's in on-base-housing.  Each of these things was un-thinkable prior to his commencement from Boot Camp.  Life for the past five weeks has been pretty good for him. 

He called last week to tell us what was 'up next' on his list of things to do. 

"I'll be getting my orders on Wednesday of this week." he said.

"Where do you think you'll go kiddo?" I asked.

"I don't know, but the last group had some guys go to Hawaii, Virginia, and Kings Bay, Georgia." he answered.

"Sounds like some nice places to spend a couple of years..."

"I'll let you know," he said. 

We said our goodbyes and the phone went silently back into its charging base. 

The next da my cell phone rang as I was driving back to the office.  My boy had gotten his orders. 

Hawaii?  No.

Virginia?  No.

Georgia? No.

I learned that you 'pick your orders' based upon your academic standing in your class.  As referenced above, Jon's done pretty well, and was the third sailor to pull his order's 'choice' out of the hat. 

Two choices were offered last week: 

Choice One:  Bahrain 

Choice Two:  Japan

He told me this as I was driving.  In response, I pulled the car off onto the shoulder of the road as my mind got 'stupid'.  It stopped working. 

I sat in my car gawking at nothing as traffic sped past my immobilized Chrysler on the shoulder of I-81.  My brain sputtered, and then it 'seized'. 

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Jon?"

"Are you there?" he asked.

"No.  I don't think I am."  I said (at least I think I did).

The rest of the call remains a blur.  One word did stick, however:  "Japan". 

My boy is going to Japan for four years. 

No road trips to visit him in Georgia, Virginia, or flights to Hawaii - his next stop:  The Land of the Rising Sun, Tsunamis, devastation, and nuclear reactor melt-downs.

My head began processing again as I spoke to him on the phone later that evening.  As it turns out that he was okay with his decision.  He was even joking with his Mom and I as we spoke with him. 

He asked us to set up a SKYPE session on the laptop.  He said that he had some photos to send to show us what he'd be doing in Japan. 

"Dad, know what my job is?" 

"No, my head froze after you told me you were going to Japan."  I answered.

"Harbor patrol."  he said.

"I'll send you a photo of one of the ships I'll be on" he said.

This is that photo...

Yes, this is the photo my son sent me.  My wife and I looked at each other, shook our heads, and then we got very quiet.   

Then he laughed.

"No Dad, that's a joke.  I'll be on one of these..." he said as the following arrived on my desktop:

"Well, that's a little better.  At least it has weapons on it.  Do they have a larger one?  Something with helicopters, jets, really big guns, or cruise missiles?" I asked. 

"Dad, I'll be in a 'Harbor Patrol' ship, not an Aircraft Carrier."  He said.  It sounded like he was laughing as he said it.

"Okay, so what will you be doing?" I asked.

"I'll either be piloting the ship, or manning the gun."  He said.  

Then he sent the following photo:

"Do you guys always have to look so serious?" I asked.

"Dad, it's part of the gig," he said. 

And with that, it was done.  My son had made me 'better'.  With the last comment, I knew he would be okay.

"It's part of the gig," he said.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Like it or not, another of my three boys has become a man.  While I wish I could keep each of my boys safe for the rest of their lives, the reality is that at some point you feel yourself moving from being an active participant, to an assistant, to the ultimate destination, a spectator.

I'm really happy that each of these guys call me Dad.  Whether they're calling local, long distance, or internationally, it doesn't matter - wherever they land I'll still be their biggest fan.  

p.s.:  When I asked him why he chose Japan over Bahrain, he sent the following image in response:

He always did have an 'economy' for the language...

Have a nice day folks.

Mike

Happy Easter

No, not quite right.

Easter isn't about the Bunny, or the Eggs, or the Chocolate. 

It's about none of these things.

The message of Easter has been co-opted as Christmas has.  I guess it's easier to think about a fuzzy little bunny delivering candy to boys and girls than it is to think of one man's death and Resurrection. 

But, well, like they say, "It is what it is".

As you begin this Easter Sunday take a few moments to think about those people who are important to you.  These are the folks who made you who you are.  

Then?   Thank them. 

While I will one day die alone, I never live alone.  I am a conglomeration of everything I have learned, seen, and experienced over the course of my 52 years of 'being'.  Thanks to my family, my friends, and all those whom I have loved and lost in my life.  Each of you has left your mark upon me.  I am better for having known you.

And, if someone wasn't especially 'nice' to you (or me, for that matter)?  Forgive them. 

Easter is about forgiveness, isn't it? 

Yes, I believe that it is.

I've got to wrestle the family up to get moving for Church, but I leave you with this...   

Happy Easter folks. 

Thanks.

A Recycled Post for... Earth Day!!!

Sing with me now:  "Jellyfish Fields Forever..."

A Recycled Post!

"Hey everybody, what day is it?!"

"It's Earth Day Mr. Cow Guy!  Yay!"

"Yes kids, today is Earth Day!  Break out your 'Earth Shoes', your hip 'hemp' clothing, and your best Jerry Garcia T-Shirt and join the festivities!  Because you'll want to 'Fit In', make sure you appear 'excited' when you attend any, and all, Earth Day activities."

Then be sure to hug the person closest to you (preferably a 'girl' if you are a 'guy' and a 'guy' if, well, you get the idea) and tell them, "You know, I've never known anyone who cares as much about the Earth...  As YOU!"  Then ask them if they'd like to go 'halvsies' on an herbal Smoothie at the closest Smoothie Bar you can find (I believe this would be in California). 

Lastly, send me $500 as a finder's fee when you get married since you didn't have to do that whole 'e-Harmony' thing and date (at LEAST) 634 losers to find your eco-conscious new best friend and soul mate. 

I was going to let Earth Day go under the radar until I saw that it (of course) was mentioned on the newspaper website. 

What can I say?  I'm weak, I HAVE to go there now...

Have you ever wanted to find out how to be Earth-Friendly at work (while being spoken to like you're a six-year old)? 

Well then, this video is for you!



The following was found on the NY Times website (yes, the ACTUAL New York Times.com site).  

(I just KNEW I was going to see worms today...  Ewwwww.)

As a sidebar, don't ever let these people into your home, trust me.  "If it's yellow let it (like) mellow, if it's brown flush it down." 

Oh boy, these folks are a HUGE evolutionary step forward... 

Thanks NY Times!  But, hey, doesn't the NY Time guys WASTE a lot of paper?!



For you folks who actually plan on DRIVING in the future, I would be remiss in not mentioning a video from the nice folks at 'GreenCar' so you can drive 'greenly' (not sure if that is a word) in the future.




Do YOUR part to save the Earth, go take a walk with your friend, your dog, or your little fuzzy bunny named 'Hugh', and get away from this computer screen, life is out THERE, it's not in HERE. 

Okay?

That's it, no more to see here, Moo-ve along...

Oh, and 'Happy Earth Day' Mother Earth!  Many (a.k.a.:  '1') happy returns!  (Until December, 2012 when YOU turn on US and SMITE us because the Mayans' stupid calendar runs out and there are solar storms on the sun and we'll be burned up like in that 'Knowing' Movie and then we'll all just be 'Dust in the Wind' like in that Kansas song, and...)

Yeah, Happy Earth Day Mother Earth, you, you 'taker of all life as we know it' you, you, you...  Hag!

Sorry, I'm goin' out with the good dogs now. 

Before it's too late.

Have a Green Day!!!


Oh, and don't forget to NOT flush!!!

The New Norm

Hi! 

Meet Norm!

"Hi Norm!"

Oh, come on guys, this is the OLD Norm! 

"YOU guys in the MoosRoom Graphics Department...  You're all FIRED!!!" 

Oops, probably shouldn't joke about this, given the topic of today's post.

Onward, ever onward!

We're looking for the NEW Norm!  I met the 'above' Norm during the 1980's (during the 'really bad' Reagan years).  Now there's a NEW Norm we need to spend some quality time with. 

Ah, here he is now...

               The NEW Norm!!!

Hmm, I'm thinking the OLD Norm looked a little happier but maybe that's because he was holding his beer, vs. his head.  Ah, what the heck, it's 2011!  Out with the old and in with the new, right?!?! 

Exactly!!!  

As we plod through the third-year of the Obama Adminstration I have discovered why 'Norm' looks 'different' than he used to. 

Is it because?:

1.  Under GW Bush the Annual Deficit was a WHOPPING $600+Billion
2.  Under GW Bush the Average Unemployment was 5.4%
3.  Under GW Bush the Percent of Americans unemployed for more than 27 weeks averaged less than 10%  

We'll re-visit each of these in a moment, but let's just say that 'Norm' is different than he / it used to be, and the Norm we knew / loved / hated ain't coming back any time soon.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, there's a NEW Norm in town.  This one brought to you by the Bureau of Labor Statistics
(MOTTO:  "Somebody's got to track this stuff, it might as well be us, 'cause it's hard to sound 'Cool' when you gots 'Statistics' is in your Bureau's Title").

So what has the Bureau of Labor Statistics done to change the 'Norm'?  Keep reading, you're gonna LIKE it (assuming that you ALSO like watching YouTube videos of people riding their bikes into parked cars, off ski ramps, and into swimming pools filled with hungry Pirahana fish.)...
THE UNITED STATES' BUREAU OF LABOR STATISTICS HAS... 

[Drumroll]

Changed how it measures long-term unemployment!
(a.k.a.:  The NEW Norm!)  Please, no cheap shots about how Barack Obama and 'Change' have come to Washington - although having said this, I see that I've already GONE there - sorry

Yes, according to a deliriously surreal article found at USAToday.com:

Citing what it calls "an unprecedented rise" in long-term unemployment, the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), beginning Saturday, will raise from two years to five years the upper limit on how long someone can be listed as having been jobless.
...

The change is a sign that bureau officials "are afraid that a cap of two years may be 'understating the true average duration' — but they won't know by how much until they raise the upper limit," says Linda Barrington, an economist who directs the Institute for Compensation Studies at Cornell University's School of Industrial and Labor Relations.

Likening recessionary unemployment spikes in recent decades to a storm at sea, she says, "The waves are getting higher, and we want to understand the intricacies of how they're made up."

...

Although "this feels like something we've not experienced" since the Great Depression, she says, economists need more information to be sure.

The change will not affect how the unemployed are counted or the unemployment rate is computed nor how long those eligible for unemployment benefits receive them. Analysts call the move a sign of the times.

"We realize more and more people are unemployed longer than 99 weeks, so we need to break it down further," Standish says.

Long-term unemployment has grown markedly over the past few years. The BLS says the average length of unemployment has increased from 29.4 weeks in November 2009 to 34.5 weeks last month. Nearly 10% of the USA's 15.1 million jobless have been looking for work for two years or more.

...

Heidi Shierholz, a labor economist at the Economic Policy Institute, a Washington think tank, says most economists expect hiring to remain sluggish in 2011 before improving in 2012.  [Question for ya:  Didn't most highly-trained economists predict that in 2009 we'd break from the sluggish hiring of 2008?  I remember reading it somewhere / everywhere back then.]


Yes, the BLS (Bureau of Labor Stats, you know, THOSE guys with pocket-protectors, thick black glasses, and those original Texas Instruments calculators with red LED displays) has increased the number of weeks which you can be counted as 'Unemployed' because...

Unemployment is 'different' now than it has been for the past 33 years...

I take no joy in reporting this, the 'is what it is' News.  (Or perhaps 'Moos', if you prefer.) 

You can find the entire article here:  USATODAY.COM

Oops, before I forget, here is the listing of the really BAD things under President GW Bush and where we stand in each of them - today:

1.  Under GW Bush the Highest Annual Deficit was a WHOPPING $600+Billion?
     President Obama's Deficit for FY 2010 was $1.29 Trillion (Source DailyFinance.com)
2.  Under GW Bush the Average Unemployment was 5.4%?
     President Obama's Unemployment rate is currently 8.8% (Source BLS)
3.  Under GW Bush the Percent of Americans unemployed for more than 27 weeks averaged less than 10%?
     President Obama's Long-Term Unemployment rate is 42% as of December 2010 (Source USA Today.com)

Given the numbers above, I believe that we can conclude that the policies of President Barack Obama are, on average, TWICE as effective guiding our country's economy as President Bush's policies were. 

Unfortunately, he has accelerated the speed of our country's economic decline through his, um, policies.  Maybe if he just hired a few more of them Nobel-Prize Winning scholars, it'd all be better? 

I end the post as I began it:  The new NORM