The Wheels On the DNC Bus Are Flying Off, Flying Off...

If you have children, if you have grandchildren, if you are an Aunt or an Uncle, you've probably heard the ditty called: "The Wheels On The Bus". It's cute, it's harmless, it's a lot like the "It's a Small World" song that sticks in your head for YEARS after you ride one of the worst rides EVER built by man (okay, the former is just my opinion. You, on the other hand, might LOVE bad animatronics, stinky water, and a song that welds itself to your subconscious mind like Billy Mays' stuck that book shelf to the wall with "Mighty Putty" (as seen on TV!)).

In case you missed the "Wheels On the Bus" magic, here it is! Click THIS Link (If you dare)

(CAUTION: Don't play this around children as it has been known to cause them to break into bouts of unbridled joy.)

I'm not sure why this is exactly, other than I personally know it to be true (I've had three little children in my family. When reading the story, or playing the cassette version of the poem (?), their eyes would glaze over and then roll back in their heads. Their tongues began to loll out of their mouths and they began muttering, "Yes we can". At that point you need to turn off the recording, or close the book before they move onto the more disturbing chants of "Hope" and "Change".

So WHAT (or more specifically, WHO) prompted this morning's post? None other than Diane Watson-D, CA. Ms. Watson is not cute, she is not harmless, but she's my special new friend!

WHY?

Because she says what she thinks. She's an honest politician. She's a danger to the Democratic Party.

I like her! I really, really DO!

Diane Watson-D, CA had a Town Hall Meeting at the end of the week. She had an opportunity to 'Monologue' for a couple of minutes. (Heh, heh, heh...)

So what did Diane Watson say out loud, in public, while being recorded for posterity?

1. Rush Limbaugh is the head of the Republican Party (NOTE: Really? What office does he hold? I only wish could be SOME coherent leadership within the Republican Party -- you know, more like that Glenn Beck fella!)

2. "They (the Republicans) are trying to make the first President who looks like me, fail..." (NOTE: I do NOT believe that President Obama looks like an angry, middle-aged woman -- I want to the record to be clear on this point) Holy mackeral, did she just drop the RACE CARD!? I thought Republicans were the only ones who did this?!

3. She just returned from Bejiing, China, Hong Kong, China, Taiwan, Guam, and all over the far East (NOTE: Thanks for keeping your vacation dollars local Ms. Watson! I hope YOU paid for that trip and WE did not pay for it for you. (Don't worry, I KNOW better, I'm just playing with you...))

4. "People all around the world look at the United States as a country who has 'changed'." (NOTE: Oh, no we haven't, but Congress and the President 'want' everything we know to 'change')

5. "America has changed its ways and elected someone from Kenya and Kansas, I'll put it like that way... And we (the 'World') thought that you would never do that..." (NOTE: Apparently 'the world' HAS read our Constitution which requires a candidate for President to be a U.S. born citizen. Along comes Ms.Watson as the FIRST Democratic Party 'Birther' debate representative. She is SOOOOO getting a phone call from the White House this weekend!)

TIME!

Okay, I had to stop for a breather. If I laughed any more I was going to make 'water' (as in 'all wee-wee'd' up) in my pants. For future reference, Conservatives do not need to shout at Town Hall meetings. Convervatives, regardless of party affiliation, need merely to sit down respectfully, hand their local representative a microphone, and let them speak FREELY. (Yes, I know this won't work, but with the loyal Liberal and Progressive Opposition in 'Duck and Cover' mode, they are just a joy to behold.)

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR BLOG POST, ALREADY IN PROGRESS...

6. "...we want this young man to succeed because when he succeeds, we re-gain our status..." (NOTE: Personally, I don't give a flip about what the 'world' thinks of us. If we live up to the the ideals put in place by our Founders 233 years ago, the 'world' WILL give us the status we rightly deserve. And if they don't, oh well. I'd rather our country be the world's leader vs. one of many world 'followers'.)

7. "Did anyone say anything about the Cuban health system? Before you say anything, you need to see what Fidel Castro put in place." (NOTE: Hey, Ms. Watson, were the people prosecuted, the people shot, the people thrown into prison without formal charges for YEARS for 'threatening the powers of state security' recipients of this health care system? How do you think THEY feel about it? You could ask them, but they're mostly dead now.)

8. "... you can think whatever you want to about Fidel Castro, but he was one of the brightest leaders I have ever met. And you know, the Cuban revolution kicked out the wealthy... Then they went out among the population to find find someone to lead this new nation and they found an attorney, by the name of Fidel Castro..." (NOTE: I'll let you fill in your own thoughts on this comment, it's Saturday morning and I've got to spend some time with the kids...)

Folks, I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to. If you had asked me if an elected official of the United States of America could EVER make statements like these (in public) and keep their job, I would have told you that you were off your rocker. I would have told you that the wheels had flown off your particular bus. But, instead, what we are viewing a systemic de-evolution of the Democratic Party. It is not falling apart due to external forces from the opposing Party, it is falling apart from its own ideology. It is falling apart from the failed policies of its leadership, all the way down to its members in both Houses of Congress.

We, the People (remember that one?) are incensed by these 'progressive thinkers' thinking that they think more than we know and that they think that we don't think, that, oh, rats, never mind...

I wish I could live in every state of the Union 'at once'. If I could somehow pull this off, I could vote against people like Ms. Watson. I would vote against them not based upon the 'color of their skin, but rather, on the content of their character'.

If you would like to listen to Ms. Watson 'speak for herself' you can click the following link and listen to her in her own words. Yes, I am Diane Watson-D, CA, I said this. I'm not sure why...

We've come a long way since John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King held the national stage. Their messages seem to have been hijacked along the way. And I've got to ask the question: "Have we, as a country moved forward, or have we de-volved?"

Gauging by the quality of our elected officials, I can only come to one conclusion: We are, as predicted by the group, Devo, 'de-volving'.

Have a nice weekend folks. Sleep with one eye opened tonight, and for the next couple of years...

Hillary Clinton Was Right!

(Yes, you may want to BookMark this post for later reference as I don't agree with Hillary Clinton on any other issue.)

Let me state for the record that I, Mike Kane, being of relatively sound mind, agree with Hillary Clinton regarding free speech in America. (To read more click here...)

Clink'd

Several weeks back I wrote a couple of blog posts, the first 'Clink, Clank, Clunk' discussed pending legislation which would provide YOU a piece of TARP money for your very own! (APPLAUSE)

The second provided a DETAILED ANALYSIS (with actual facts, which I looked up! And, yes, I admit, a few I MADE up) of the plan and was entitled, simply enough, 'Clunk.'. (YET EVEN MORE APPLAUSE)

After the last post I left it alone because when it comes to giving people FREE stuff (and Congress is involved in this a LOT); well, once those wheels start turning it's hard to stop them. This being said, the bill passed the House and Senate and was signed into law by President Obama.

The interesting about the bill was HOW it was actually passed... For the purposes of accuracy I now quote the nice folks at The Washington Post:

"Congressional leaders attached the legislation to a $106 billion spending bill to fund troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. The spending bill passed by a 91 to 5 vote but not before some Republican lawmakers unsuccessfully sought to strip the measure from the bill."

"Let's not add a billion dollars of unnecessary debt," said Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.) during the Senate floor debate.

Dealers, unions, trade groups and automakers have been lobbying for months for the legislation in hopes that it would stop the streak of dismal U.S. auto sales. "The simple fact is that we need to get Americans into car showrooms, and this is the bill that will do it," Rep. Candice S. Miller (R-Mich.), a co-sponsor of the legislation, said in a statement.

So the CARS Act was passed by burying it in a spending bill which provided funds to American troops in Iraq and Afghanistan... How many members of Congress would stand up and say "I will NOT fund our troops overseas and in harms way, BUT we'll give 'em a discount to upgrade their Hummers!"? Expected life expectancy of the politician making this statement is roughly the same as that of the ever-popular Mayfly.

Details of the CARS act were released on Friday of last week. Car dealers' showrooms were busy with shoppers hoping to turn in their OLD vehicle and getting their personalized TARP bailout in the amount of 3,500 or 4,500 dollars towards the purchase of a new vehicle. Unfortunately for the dealers, the Government didn't release program specifics until 7am Friday morning and NONE of them had time to read it in time to answer car shoppers' questions on Friday.

Jumping ahead a couple of days, I have heard that several local car dealerships have anywhere from 12 - 20 new deals pending (each) since announcement of the program last Friday. Gee, that's GREAT! Right?

Yeah, you'd think...

But here's the rub: Apparently whoever set up the government CARS online submission service didn't PLAN for the volume of request which are coming in. The result is that local car dealers who are entering the multiple screens of required vehicle information, insurance information, license information to verify that the vehicle qualifies for the 'Rebate' then the system BURPS and the data is gone.

The dealer begins entering the data again, and again, and again, and again...You get the picture, right?

So here's a car dealer who Congress has put on the hook for at LEAST $3,500 not knowing if he'll ever get this vehicle input online to get HIS check from the government. This, of course, to reimburse him for the commitment that he's made to the car shopper (at the request of the FEDS). If he (or she) has delivered the vehicle and doesn't get the electronic submission in prior to the $1 Billion in Rebates being used up...

Well, suffice it to say that his (or her) auto shopper got one HECK of a deal because that dealer won't be receiving a penny of assistance from Uncle Sam. AND he no longer has a re-sellable vehicle because the trade has been scrapped (again, at the request of Uncle Sam).

Thanks Mr. Dealer, you ROCK!

For those of you who think it's SUPER GROOVY COOL that the government wants to get involved in your health care, allow me to submit to you the following:

1. The guidelines for the CARS program are 136 pages long (each 'competing' health care bill is over 1,000 pages in length (no one in Congress has admitted to reading all of them as yet))

2. The government didn't adequately prepare for a $1 Billion program (I'm sure they'll do a much better job for a $1 Trillion program -- sure, what's a couple more ZEROs?)

3. The CARS program (with 136 pages in guidelines) has created the need for THREE more government divisions under the NHTSA. (Again, these THREE divisions are to manage a Congress-sponsored 136-page set of regulations).

Excerpting from the documentation provided on the CARS site: "In order to implement this new program, NHTSA has had to quickly create a new organization. NHTSA has established the Office of the Car Allowance Rebate System within the Office of Enforcement. The new office will consist of three divisions.

The Transaction Oversight Division will work closely with the contractor NHTSA has retained to review incoming requests for payment from dealers to ensure that those requests are reviewed correctly and in a timely way.

The Data Analysis and Reporting Division will review data generated in connection with the program to help ensure the system’s efficiency and detect problems with the process or indications of potential compliance issues. That division will also produce reports on all aspects of the system.

The Compliance Division will work to detect and deter possible noncompliance related to the program and coordinate closely with NHTSA’s Office of Chief Counsel when possible violations are found. That division will also coordinate closely with the DOT’s Office of Inspector General on issues related to possible fraud in connection with the program."

4. So what does the government request that the dealer do with the vehicle he/she has collected from the consumer for $3,500? "Key to the program's long-term success will be the death mandated for the clunker: After its oil is drained and replaced with sodium silicate, the engine is run until it seizes. The vehicle must be crushed or shredded."

Okay, for purposes of conversation let's assume that your car dealer isn't trying to wrangle a $3,500 check from the government to cover the $3,500 he (or she) loaned the program. Sure, the car dealer's on his (her) own -- let them haggle with the government... You got your new Mercury Milan!

But let's assume instead that you're waiting to get an organ transplant...

Do you really want the doctor doing the haggling to get you your 'part'? Or you? And now go back and re-read 'Number 4' above. What if they were talking about Y-O-U instead of your car? Personally, I don't feel too good about being 'crushed or shredded'.

Oh wait, here's an idea, how about we let the government do what they're best at -- spending our money and creating 'guidelines' for OTHER new programs (besides health care)? Maybe doctors and hospitals might possibly have a better handle on which health care options patients might actually need?

Naaaaaaaah! I trust Congress. Don't you?

07/29/09 Update: For feedback on just how well things are going with this spiffy new government-sponsored program, please feel free to visit Edmunds.com! See how your fellow-citizens are faring! Meet interesting new people! Run screaming into the street!

My oh my...

SpongeBob Squarepants, MD

Your child returns home from a couple of hours of playing at a friend's house. He walks past you as you're putting the final touches on his favorite meal, Macaroni and Cheese.

"Hey kiddo, glad to see you're back home. Did you have a good time at Billy's house?" you ask.

"Yeah, but I'm not feeling so great" he responds as he slowly walks by.

"Okay, well, you'd better wash up because I'm making Mac and Cheese tonight!" your expectation is that this, if nothing else, will make Tommy a bit more animated...

Then you hear the words which send a shockwave of fear through your very soul, "Nah, I'm not really hungry, I think I'll just go ahead and go to sleep after I take a shower.

"You stare at the child realizing that he has either been:
a.) Taken over by lactose-intolerant space aliens,
b.) Eaten an entire frozen pizza at Billy's and is afraid to tell you about it, or
c.) Your child, your pride and joy, the heir to the throne, is getting 'sick'.

"Hey Dude, come on in here for a minute, I want to take a look at you" you request in a serious, yet friendly voice.

"Dad, I'm really tired, I just want to go to bed" he says this sheepishly but moves towards you nonetheless.

You look at little Tommy and realize that he does look tired and his cheeks are a bit 'flushed'. "Tommy, I think you might be coming down with something, what do you say we check it out?"

"Oh, come on Dad, I'm just tired, that's all. Can't I just get cleaned up and go to bed?" he asks pleadingly.

"No Tommy. We need to get you cleaned up and then we need to take your temperature to see if you have a fever. You look a little 'pink' to me, and I need to see if your temp is actually up or if you were just playing too hard at Billy's house.

"The creases in your son's face are erased as you detect the first sign of hope that maybe, just maybe, this won't be so bad at all.

"Okay Dad, but, but, butt, can we call SpongeBob Squarepants, MD?"

"Sure pal, let's dive into the old medicine cabinet and pull Dr. Squarepants out... I'll get the KY!" You say this as the concerns of the prior five minutes waft away like a half-remembered dream.

"Dad?" Tommy asks.

"Yes son" you reply.

"Can we have music tonight?" he asks.

"Dude, you can have all the music you want -- although it may be a bit muffled for a minute..."

"Thanks Dad, you're the best!"

(Dad thinkingto himself: "No Tommy. SpongeBob Squarepants is the best! But YOU'RE second-best!)

And now, the Rest of the Story...
The folks at Becton and Dickenson Medical (trusted since 1897!) have created the ultimate in children's temperature taking equipment (CTTE): The SpongeBob Squarepants Digital Thermometer!

Yes, it's true, now Patrick's (the cross-dressing StarFish) BFF can be you and your child's MFF (Medical Friend Forever) too! Don't believe me? Well then, check it out!

Click here (it's worth it!):  JEEPERS SPONGEBOB THERMOMETER REVIEW!

Not wanting anyone to be senselessly injured in not knowing the correct procedures for using this, or I'm assuming, ANY digital thermometer, please accept the following instructions, courtesy of the BD website:

TAKE TEMPERATURE BY ORAL, UNDERARM (AXILLARY) OR RECTAL METHOD

Oral Method:Place thermometer probe under tongue. Probe tip should rest in "correct area" as shown in diagram. Hold the thermometer in the same spot under your tongue with your mouth closed.

Underarm (Axillary) Method:
(Alternative method for babies or very young children. Although simpler, the axillary method is less accurate and takes longer.)

Make sure the underarm is dry and there is no material between the chest and arm. Point the thermometer upward and place the tip well into the patient's underarm. Fold patient's arm over chest to hold the thermometer in place and keep air away from the underarm.

Many people find hugging the child while taking the temperature helps assure it is taken correctly and also comforts the child. When using this method, hold the thermometer securely in place for 4 minutes (ignore beeps).

Rectal Method:
(Recommended for babies or very young children who breathe through their mouth)

Lubricate the tip of the thermometer with a water soluble jelly such as K-Y® Jelly. Do not use petroleum jelly. The patient should lie on his/her side, knees slightly bent. If the patient is a baby, place the infant on its stomach with legs hanging down, either across your knees or at the edge of a bed or changing table. This positions the baby's rectum properly for safe and easy insertion of the thermometer.

With one hand, gently slide the tip of the thermometer no more than 1/2 inch into the rectum. If you detect resistance of any kind, STOP. Hold thermometer in place during temperature measurement. Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally, for sanitary reasons.

Please take a moment to allow that last line to sink in...

Your Moos of the Day blog -- Always looking out for you. (Sorry O'Reilly)

Thanks to my son, Jon (not Tommy), who found the above video link and thought it would be funny to include here.

I am so proud of him...

Moo