Cold? Seriously, Cold???

If I ever get out of the 'Wonderful World of Sales' I may just turn to a career in, um, I dunno, perhaps, one having to do with 'Science'!  Just think of it, I could be a SCIENTIST, a real, honest-to-goodness-scientist sporting a wicked-cool white lab coat, a pocket protector, eleven pens (seven of which would actually write), protective goggles AND a clip board!

Dr. M. Moos, PhD

Yup, you got the idea. 
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Unfortunately, as I ponder future career choices, I realize that the field of Science is serious business, and while I'm all about business in Sales, I'm not so much into the 'serious' thing.  For example, how could I, with a straight face, make the following 'Scientific Prediction':
 . 
Winter is Coming: Scientist Says Sun Will Nod Off in 15 Years 
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Might want to start stockpiling those down jackets: The sun could nod off by 2030, triggering what scientists are describing as a “mini ice age.”
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Professor Vlentina Zharkova of Northumbira University presented the frigid findings at the National Astronomy Meeting in Llandudno, Wales. Modern technology has made us able to predict solar cycles with much greater accuracy, and Zharkova’s model predicts that solar activity will drop by more than half between 2030 and 2040.
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...
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In search of a more accurate system of prediction, Professor Zharkova and her team discovered fluctuating magnetic waves in two layers of the sun. By studying the data of the dual waves, she says, predictions are far more precise.
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“Combining both waves together and comparing to real data for the current solar cycle, we found that our predictions showed an accuracy of 97 percent,” said Zharkova, whose findings were published by the Royal Astronomic Society.
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Using this method, she and her team discovered that there will be far less solar activity in sun cycles 25 and 26, leading to a prolonged period of solar dormancy
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“In cycle 26, the two waves exactly mirror each other -- peaking at the same time but in opposite hemispheres of the Sun. 

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...

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It last occurred between 1645 and 1715, when roughly 50 sunspots were recorded, as opposed to the standard 40,000. That time was marked by brutal, river-freezing temperatures in Europe and North America.  [Moos Note:  Who, exactly, was documenting the number of sunspots between 1645 and 1715?  I'm pretty sure that it wasn't the professor referenced above as she was not even a 'gleam in the eye' of her great, great, great, great, great grandparents...]

.

..
Okay, I don't know about you, but the last thing I heard about our 'Big Blue Marble' is that it is destined for a steady rise in temperatures (seas boil), crops will bake in the fields (Yumm-o!  Ready to eat Pop Corn on the cob!), and incomprehensible numbers of polar bears will drown as they endlessly tread ice-free Artic waters.  NOW, according to the scientist quoted above - within fifteen years, we're all going to be plunged into a mini-ice-age?

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Sure, why not?  One theory is as good as another, right?  
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You see, here's the thing - scientific theory MUST 'by definition' be based upon a predictive premise which must test said theory.  And when your predicting the 'End of Life' as we all know it, you'd better have your facts straight (a.k.a.:  Getting your water-fowl linear).   
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According to the nice, faceless folks at Wikipedia, Scientific Theory is defined this way:
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SCIENTIFIC THEORY:  A scientific theory is a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world that is acquired through the scientific method and repeatedly tested and confirmed through observation and experimentation. As with most (if not all) forms of scientific knowledge, scientific theories are inductive in nature and aim for predictive power and explanatory capability.
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...
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Scientific theories are testable and make falsifiable predictions. They describe the causal elements responsible for a particular natural phenomenon, and are used to explain and predict aspects of the physical universe or specific areas of inquiry (e.g., electricity, chemistry, astronomy). Scientists use theories as a foundation to gain further scientific knowledge, as well as to accomplish goals such as inventing technology or curing disease.
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Scientific theories are the most reliable, rigorous, and comprehensive form of scientific knowledge. 
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This is significantly different from the common usage of the word "theory", which implies that something is a conjecture, hypothesis, or guess (i.e., unsubstantiated and speculative). .  

.

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By expansion of Bill Nye's quote above, we can safely say the following:
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• If it's Magic, it's NOT Science
• If it's Science, it's NOT Magic
• If two morons walk along a train trestle high above a river and one falls into the river below - it's because ONE was a little 'moron' than the other
• If the Science is weak, maybe it actually might be 'Magic'?

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I read Time Magazine's dire admonition that we were entering a period of 'Global Cooling' back in the 1970's.  I was equally horrified to learn twenty+ years later that the 'very real threat' we faced was NOT of mid-1970's-era Global Cooling, but rather, a very dire prediction of... Global Warming.
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 .
This Global Warming phrase was later changed to 'Global Climate Change' because it was easier to sell a concept which, roughly translated, means, "Yup, that weather sure does change from time to time."  
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Unfortunately for those 'Climate Changer' folks, NASA discovered that there was a seventeen year period in which no Warming trend was detected in annual Earth Temperatures - explained scientifically as 'global Climate Pause'. 
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Now, just in time for a new generation - we return to the mid-1970's when Liberal Democrats / Moderate Republicans run DC, radical Islamists are at war with us (but very few in Washington realize it), we sit anxiously awaiting for those new 'Star Wars' and 'Rocky' movies to be released, unemployment is below 7.7%, and we are STILL so very cool, but our parents simply don't understand us.  
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Looking back I realize that maybe, just maybe, it is the Magic that is real, and that 'Real' Science isn't what it used to be.  
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Personally, I see magic every day.  I see it in my family, in strangers who begin their lunch at McDonald's offering thanks before eating, and in the general goodness of the people I see helping others - not because they HAVE to, but rather, because they WANT to.  
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As for Science - well, I believe that once a theory is proven if moves from the status of  Scientific Theory to Scientific Fact.  If the 'Science' changes every few decades, it's not Fact, it is merely a Theory.  But like I said at the onset, I'm no scientist.
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Perhaps Bill Nye is actually full of 'Hooey'.  I don't know about you, but based upon the 'Science' we're presented with online and in the Media on a regular basis, I'm getting suspect of the endless barrage of crises about tomorrow's weather, tomorrow's crisis,and and tomorrow's Liberal / Moderate solutions.
 .
Perhaps we need to rediscover the joy found in living... 'today'?  
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I believe that you (and I) will be happier for it.  
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Now THERE is a Theory for you.  And, you know, I'm no Scientist. 
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Attention College Graduates! This Man is a Moron.

Lee Siegel - Author, Cultural Critic, and Student Loan Deadbeat

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Okay, just for the record, this is NOT me.  I wear glasses, I probably have 20 pounds on this guy, and I work for a living.  The only thing we most likely we have in common is that I once owned a shirt this color (was it called 'French Blue'?) in 2001.  Any other similarities between the two us pretty much begin and end there. 
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I didn't know who Lee Siegel was until around 6:35 this morning when he unexpectedly popped up on MSNBC as I punished the Elliptical machine with my undulating bulk at my neighborhood Planet Fitness.  The crawler under his name said that he was a writer and he wrote this weekend in the New York Times that the youth of America should follow his lead and...
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Default on Their Student Loans

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Having noticed that I have already called Lee a 'moron' in the title of this post, let's get on with a summary of his opinion piece from Sunday, shall we?  After all, I can't fairly call someone a moron and not back the claim up with some significant contextual verbiage, right?

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Right...

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From Sunday's nonsense published in the New York Times:  ONE late summer afternoon when I was 17, I went with my mother to the local bank, a long-defunct institution whose name I cannot remember, to apply for my first student loan. My mother co-signed. When we finished, the banker, a balding man in his late 50s, congratulated us, as if I had just won some kind of award rather than signed away my young life.

.
....
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.Years later, I found myself confronted with a choice that too many people have had to and will have to face. I could give up what had become my vocation (in my case, being a writer) and take a job that I didn’t want in order to repay the huge debt I had accumulated in college and graduate school. Or I could take what I had been led to believe was both the morally and legally reprehensible step of defaulting on my student loans, which was the only way I could survive without wasting my life in a job that had nothing to do with my particular usefulness to society.

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I chose life. That is to say, I defaulted on my student loans.

.
....
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As difficult as it has been, I’ve never looked back. The millions of young people today, who collectively owe over $1 trillion in loans, may want to consider my example.
.

...
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It struck me as absurd that one could amass crippling debt as a result, not of drug addiction or reckless borrowing and spending, but of going to college. Having opened a new life to me beyond my modest origins, the education system was now going to call in its chits and prevent me from pursuing that new life, simply because I had the misfortune of coming from modest origins.



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Am I a deadbeat? In the eyes of the law I am. Indifferent to the claim that repaying student loans is the road to character? Yes. Blind to the reality of countless numbers of people struggling to repay their debts, no matter their circumstances, many worse than mine? My heart goes out to them. To my mind, they have learned to live with a social arrangement that is legal, but not moral. 

....

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Some people will maintain that a bankrupt father, an impecunious background and impractical dreams are just the luck of the draw. Someone with character would have paid off those loans and let the chips fall where they may. But I have found, after some decades on this earth, that the road to character is often paved with family money and family connections, not to mention 14 percent effective tax rates on seven-figure incomes.
.
...
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Moneyed stumbles never seem to have much consequence. Tax fraud, insider trading, almost criminal nepotism — these won’t knock you off the straight and narrow. But if you’re poor and miss a child-support payment, or if you’re middle class and default on your student loans, then God help you.
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Forty years after I took out my first student loan, and 30 years after getting my last, the Department of Education is still pursuing the unpaid balance. My mother, who co-signed some of the loans, is dead. The banks that made them have all gone under. I doubt that anyone can even find the promissory notes. The accrued interest, combined with the collection agencies’ opulent fees, is now several times the principal.
.
...

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I am sharply aware of the strongest objection to my lapse into default. If everyone acted as I did, chaos would result. The entire structure of American higher education would change.
.
...
 .
The collection agencies retained by the Department of Education would be exposed as the greedy vultures that they are. The government would get out of the loan-making and the loan-enforcement business. Congress might even explore a special, universal education tax that would make higher education affordable. 
.
 

I also found the following information at the end of the author's post:  Lee Siegel is the author of five books who is writing a memoir about money.  

(Moos Note:  This guy's penning a memoir about money?  Title Suggestion:  "The World's Shortest Memoir About Something Which I know Nothing About")

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Whoa, where to begin?  I guess what struck me about this intelligently-written piece (after all, he did use the words, "impecunious" AND "opulent", each being very intellectual words) is that the author takes NO responsibility for defrauding the government.  He hopes that if / when others follow his actions it may cause the Federal Government to levy a 'special, universal education tax that would make education affordable' - yay!  Affordable education!!!  But, affordable for whom? 
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Hey Sparky, EVEN if education were 'affordable', you'd have no particular interest in paying that 'affordable' education back, now would you?  After all, as you stated above, why would you waste your life in a job "that had nothing to do with my particular usefulness to society?"  You had no intention of paying the loans back, even after publishing five books, and preparing to pen a memoir on 'Money'?  Sorry, but this last one continues to crack me up...

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Oh please, Mr. Siegel, write more so that we may learn from your life lessons as to what it takes to be a modern day scribbler!?!?  Although, after reading your opinion piece, I'm still searching for your 'particular usefulness to society' referenced above?   
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Do you volunteer at a soup kitchen or something, donate clothing to the homeless, teach illiterate children Spanish, or something?  Anything?  If so, you really should mention THESE items as it doesn't make you sound like such a weasel for sticking my kids, and my children's kids with your misspent college / graduate school tuition debt by way of increased interest rates.  
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Most people realizing that they will not be able to afford graduate school...  Don't GO to graduate school unless they can financially support their educational whims.  
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You, however, you're special, aren't you?  Yeah, special.  Seriously special.  

.

  

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Dude, you sum it up very nicely when you say that, "someone with character would have paid off those loans and let the chips fall where they may."  Then a sentence later, predictably, you take the low-road with your comment that "the road to character is often paved with family money and family connections, not to mention 14 percent effective tax rates on seven-figure incomes."  

Lee, buddy, who do YOU hang out with on weekends?  Do you KNOW these people, or did the folks at the local commune fill you in on how 'the richest Americans live' based upon one of those George Soros / DNC subsidized websites?  If not paying your college / graduate school debts has enabled you to hang with people like this, I have to rethink my whole concept of being a 'contributing member' of society.  Well, not really, I enjoy sleeping well at night knowing that I am providing for myself and my family to the best of my ability - perhaps this is why you don't 'get me' and presumably, I'll never 'get you'.  

I'll continue to be a contributor for the betterment of my family, my Nation, and society in general. 

You just go ahead and continue to be a 'member'.  When something works for you, you stick with it, right?

.

A Recycled Post... For Earth Day!

Sing with me now:  "Jellyfish Fields Forever..."

A Recycled Post!

"Hey everybody, what day is it?!"

"It's Earth Day Mr. Cow Guy!  Yay!"

"Yes kids, today is Earth Day!  Break out your 'Earth Shoes', your hippest and bestest 'hemp' clothing, and your least-soiled Jerry Garcia T-Shirt and join the environmentally-friendly festivities!  Because you'll want to 'Fit In'!  Just make sure that you appear 'excited' and 'fully-involved' when you attend any, and all, Earth Day activities."

Then reach out and hug the person closest to you (preferably a 'girl' if you are a 'guy' and a 'guy' if you're um, well, you get the idea) and tell them, "You know, I've never known anyone who cares as much about the Earth...  As YOU!"  Then ask them if they'd like to go 'halvsies' on an herbal Smoothie at the closest Organic Smoothie Bar you can find (I believe that roughly 96.3% of these will all be found in California - so, start walking!)

Lastly, send me a $500 finder's fee after you two lovebirds get married since you didn't have to do that whole 'e-Harmony' thing and date (at LEAST) 634 other losers to find your Eco-conscious new best friend and soul mate. 

I was going to let Earth Day go under the radar until I saw that it (of course) was mentioned on my local newspaper website. 

What can I say?  I'm weak, I HAVE to go there now...

Have you ever wanted to find out how to be Earth-Friendly at work (while being spoken to like you're six-years old)? 

Well then, this video is for you!

The following was found on the NY Times website (yes, the ACTUAL New York Times.com site).  

(I just KNEW I was going to see worms today...  Ewwwww.)

As a sidebar, don't ever let these people into your home, trust me.  "If it's yellow let it (like) mellow, if it's brown, you know, flush it down." 

Oh boy, these folks are a HUGE evolutionary step forward... 

Thanks NY Times!  But, hey, don't you guys WASTE a lot of paper?!?!?

For folks who actually plan on DRIVING in the future, I would be remiss in not mentioning a video from the nice folks at 'GreenCar' so you can drive 'greenly' (not sure if that is a word) in the future.  Here's the updated 2015 Edition which replaces the 2009 version which originally appeared in this recycled post...

Do YOUR part to save the Earth, go take a walk with your friend, your dog, or your little fuzzy bunny named 'Hugh', and get away from this computer screen, life is out THERE, it's not in HERE. 

Okay?

That's it, no more to see here, Moo-ve along...

Oh, and 'Happy Earth Day' Mother Earth!  Many (a.k.a.:  '1') happy returns!  (Until December, 2012 when YOU turn on US and SMITE us because the Mayans' stupid calendar runs out and there are solar storms on the sun and we'll be burned up like in that 'Knowing' Movie and then we'll all just be 'Dust in the Wind' like in that Kansas song, and...)  Huh, weird, we're still here after I added this line in 2011 - pretty freaky huh???

Yeah, Happy Earth Day Mother Earth, you, you 'taker of all life as we know it' you, you, you...  Hag!

Sorry, I'm going out to walk my dog now. 

Before it's too late.

Have a Green Day!!!

Oh, and don't forget to NOT flush!!!

Especially if you love your Mother.  Earth.

 

Re-Reiding Harry

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I wrote the post below in August of 2012, just prior to the 2012 Presidential Elections between President Obama and Mitt Romney.  Given Harry's recent 'retirement' announcement from the Senate (yeah, but he's still going to hang around for almost two full years - don't smile just yet), I thought this may be a good time to revisit the man, the myth, the legend who is 'Harry Reid'.   
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So sit back, relax, crack open an icy cold amber colored adult beverage this evening (while not using heavy equipment) and travel with me now back to 2012 when we all hoped for change and all we got was more 'chains' courtesy of Dirty Harry Reid and Barack Hussein Obama...
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(BONUS UPDATE:  I've included a new video clip at the end of this post which pretty much puts our pal Harry into context...)
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 .
"Hey kids, does anyone know what today is, and why today is important?", asks the man in the brown suit, white shirt, and cow-spotted tie.
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Bobby raises a tentative hand, "It's Friday, right Mr. Moos?"
 .
"Yes Bobby, it IS Friday, but that's not why today is important.", says the man as he straightens his jacket and shifts in his chair.  "Anyone else want to take a guess as to why today is special?" he asks.
 .
The room is quiet as the children each look down the line of wooden desk chairs from one to another.  At the end of the row a girl in bright yellow shorts and blue top begins to wave her hand as if it has just been set on fire and she's trying to shake it out.
 .
"Mr. Moos, is it because today is "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day"?", she blurts this out as if the suspense is killing her.
 .
"Yes Tracy, today IS "Reiding is Fun-Duh-Mental Day", says the man as he tosses her a sleeved six-pack of Oreo cookies.  "And does anyone know why this makes today special?" he asks them.
 .
Tracy's hand shoots up again, "Because today is the day we can make stuff up and say it out loud for anyone to hear it - right!?!?  And, and, and, we don't have to tell anyone WHY we made it up, or if we actually heard it from someone for real, or if we, um, just pulled it out of the clear blue sky! 
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And then we tell the person we made the stuff up about to prove that what we said...  Isn't true.  Isn't that right Mr. Moos?!?!" the girl is now shaking in anticipation knowing the man has more Oreos stashed in his bag and she has answered the question correctly again.
 . 

 .

 .
"You are exactly right Tracy - today is the day that we make stuff up and challenge people (whom we don't like) to prove that it isn't true!  Great answer, but sorry, no more Oreos for you!  
 .
Unfortunately, the FDA has determined that eating more than ten Oreos a week will make you fat, lazy, and quite possibly, a  future Welfare recipient.  Giving you more cookies is morally reckless.  I cannot, in good conscience, give you any more of those wonderful Oreos," he says this as he dons a pair of surgical gloves, reaches into his shopping bag, withdraws a head of Mizuna and tosses it to the girl.  
 .
"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asks.
 .
"Tracy, I have no idea - I don't like even touching the stuff - that's why I pack the gloves..."  Then he stands, pulls off his gloves, tosses them into the bag and walks away leaving the stunned kids wondering what happens next.
 .
"Mr. Moos, hey, Mr. Moos, so when do WE get to make stuff up?" Suzie asks.
 .
"Right after you get a lesson from the Pro.  This man IS a professional - don't try this at home kids..." He pulls a second full sleeve of Oreos from his jacket pocket and pops most of them into his mouth all at once.  
 .
He gags a bit as he chews, the lights dim, a computer whirs to life in the distance as a thin and whiny voice begins to pump from the tinny laptop speakers...
 .

 .
LA Times Online, August 2, 2012:  (Harry Reid) The Democrat, in remarks to the Senate this morning, said "the word's out that he [Romney] hasn't paid any taxes for 10 years." Of course, that "word" has come from none other than Reid himself. Since last month, when he alleged in a Senate floor speech that Romney "basically paid no taxes in the prior 12 years," the Nevada lawmaker has continued to hammer away at the topic.
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Reid has said he learned about Romney’s taxes earlier this summer from an investor in Bain Capital who, he said, called his office to pass along the information. The senator has refused to identify the investor and has acknowledged that he can't be certain about the veracity of the charges he's been spreading.
 .
In a conference call with Nevada reporters on Wednesday, he broadened what he said were his sources for the contention that Romney was able to avoid federal taxes.
 .
"I have had a number of people tell me that," said Reid, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, while refusing to elaborate. "I don't think the burden should be on me," Reid told the home-state reporters. "The burden should be on him. He's the one I've alleged has not paid any taxes. Why didn't he release his tax returns?”
 .
On Thursday morning, Reid said that a nominee for a Cabinet position couldn't get confirmed by the Senate if he made as limited a release of tax information as Romney has thus far.
 .
"Let him prove that he has paid taxes, because he hasn't," Reid declared, then adding that “Mitt Romney makes more money in a single day than the average middle-class family makes in two years or more." .

 "Okay kids, go for it," commands a slightly-muffled (still chewing) voice from somewhere behind the PC monitor glowing in the darkened room.
 .

 .

Tracy raises her hand and says that she heard that, "Harry Reid is a part-time owner and full-time customer of the World Famous Chicken Ranch Brothel.  Here he is seen 'making Googly eyes' at Vanessa WunderBottom - a well-known German prostitute revered for her uncanny ability of being able to pick up a TV remote and depressing the selector keys to access the local Cable Channel for CNN...  While never using her fingers. 
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She is the woman who encouraged Harry to begin parting his hair on the left (see prior image above) because, as she said, "My little Harry - everything about him is a little to the Left...  And I mean EVERYTHING."
 .
"I know that it's true because I heard someone talking about it on the downtown bus," she adds...

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 .

 .
Billy says, "I heard that Harry Reid beats his wife 'a lot'.  Then he photo-shops his head onto a much more 'manly body' so he can feel better about the quality of the beating.  You know, because he's not REALLY so tough. 
 .
When asked for a comment, Reid said, "If I want to beat my wife, that's up to me see, and if you don't like it, I can put my head on a freakin' Godzilla or something and really scare you big time!  If that doesn't work, I'll put my big ol' gourd on top of Nancy Pelosi's body - that'll scare the bejeezus out of you!  
 .
Oh wait, I've already put my head on Nancy, and um, - strike that..."  
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Billy finishes by saying that "It must be true, because I just read it right here, on the Internet."
 .

 

 .
Jimmy states the following about Harry Reid, "My staff has always said, 'Don't say this,' but I'm going to say it again because it's so descriptive because it's true," Reid said.
 .

He referenced House Minority Leader John Boehner's comments about the long lines of tourists that stream into the Capitol complex, and said: "In the summertime, because (of) the high humidity and how hot it gets here, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol." 
 .

"Oops, sorry kids, this last one actually happened.  So let's call it a day, I'm hungry and I need to find a couple of milk shakes to wash these cookies down."

 .

"Did you save any cookies for us?" asks Jimmy.

 .

"No Jimmy, the cookies are for me.  As a matter of fact, I just polished off Tracy's cookies while she was writing her Reiding FunDuhMental comments above.  Instead, I'm taking all of you to Chick Fil-A; I hear there are many interesting 'things' to see there today..."

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"Yay, we love Chick Fil-A Mr. Moos!!!  You're the absolute best!!!"   

 .

"It goes without saying kids - but thanks for saying it all the same..." He says as he holds the door open for the kids leaving the classroom.

 .

 "Mr. Moos, will there be 'haters' over at the Chick Fil-A?" Tracy asks.

 .

"Not from our side kidd-o.  Not from our side.  We like everybody - even when we're making stuff up about them.  We do it to be funny, not to destroy anyone.  There is a difference."  

 .

 .

Let us all have a moment of silence for the soon-to-be-late-lame Harry Reid as we watch him open up to the nice woman from CNN and admitting something that we all knew a few years ago already.
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Um, you may want to open a second beverage prior to viewing. 
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Trust me...
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"Romney didn't win, did he?"  

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Mr. Reid, you are one miserable POS.
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Have a nice day folks...
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