Swallow Hard...

This just in from the MoosRoom's 'Surreal Department', courtesy of the Daily Mail Online:   

YOU and a guest can join Michelle and Barack on their next... 

[Gulp]

Date.


And, as uncomfortable as this sounds on the surface, you'll also be able to get dating 'tips' via the following text and video from...


The President of the United States


I'll be quiet for a moment while these two bits of information sink in...


Silence.

Silence.

Silence.


Okay, I'm back. 

Oh, you need another moment?  Go ahead, I'll be here.  I'll continue typing v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y while you're gone - you'll catch up soon enough. 


If you need to 'rinse and spit' to wash that acrid 'pre-vomit' taste from your mouth, there's a sink in the next room.  I suggest that you use it prior to delving any deeper into the subject at hand.  


From the Daily Mail article dated June 25th:    The 1 minute 40 video clip posted online begins with Michelle Obama recalling: 'It was a cool date, we spent the whole day together, he was showing me all facets of his character. We went to the Art Institute.'
 
At which point Barack Obama, wearing a white shirt and striped tie, nods enthusiastically, points his finger at the camera and says: 'Art - guys out there, it impresses people.'

Mrs Obama then says that the couple, who married in 1992, 'took a nice long walk down Michigan Avenue' and again Mr Obama smiles and gives a knowing nod to camera saying 'romantic.'

The First Lady, who is wearing her trademark pearls and a patterned sheer top, then asks Mr Obama 'Did we go to the movie first?'

He thinks for a second and then replies: 'Uh we didn't have dinner we actually had lunch at the Art Institute, there was a little courtyard, with a little fountain.'
 

Mrs Obama smiles and says 'Yeah that was nice' and Mr Obama agrees: 'Yeah it was very nice.'


The president continues: 'Then we went to see Do The Right Thing'
 

And Mrs Obama nods saying 'Spike Lee - it had just come out. '

'He showed all the sides - he was hip, cutting edge, cultural, sensitive. The fountain - nice touch,' she continues.

'The walk - patient,' she adds.

Mr Obama grins, shrugs his shoulders, looks at the camera and says 'Take tips gentleman' before winking.

Video Link:   That Magical First Date 

The interview coincides with a competition his Obama For America campaign have launched which offers winners the opportunity to have 'dinner with President Obama, along with a guest of your choice and four other supporters.'
 
The winners will each receive round-trip tickets for them and a guest from within the fifty U.S. States, DC, or Puerto Rico to a destination to be determined by the sponsor.
 
They will stay in a hotel and have dinner with the president and his wife at an undisclosed location  - the competition states that the package is worth about $4,800.


Honestly, I could have lived my entire LIFE without knowing the details of the President's and Michelle's first date.  Thanks to everyone at the Daily Mail for making it so REAL for me - for bringing it to life.  You guys and gals ROCK. 

[Somewhere in the U.K., reporters are raising pints of amber beverages and laughing hysterically...  at US.] 

Once again, the President of the United States is inviting you to register (to win!), donate, sign up for 'We Love Barack' e-mail blasts, and eat with him, Michelle, and four other 'supporters' at some point in the future.

That's a 'value' of $4,800!

Wow.  

This is small consolation when you consider that YOUR family's slice of the debt-pie has grown $29,660 since the President passed his 'Stimulus' plans, increased government spending, and sent scores of Americans to the unemployment lines.  

What does this mean to your household?  One year ago, YOUR family owed $125,425 (up almost $30k since the President was elected) of the National Debt. 

This year, as expected, YOU necessarily owe our debtors...  more.  (Feel free to use the words, 'Your Fair Share' if they make you feel any better.)

But hey, what's a little 'debt' among friends? 

Things are getting better, right?

Yeah, let's go there - let's lift up the well-worn, thread-bare stained blue skirt of President Obama's 'Recovery'...

  $15.7 Trillion:  Current National Debt ($15,744,360,700,064.85).
(U.S. Treasury Department, Accessed 6/13/12)

$5.11 Trillion:  Added To The National Debt Since Obama Took Office.
(U.S. Treasury Department, Accessed 6/13/12)

23.2 Million:  Number Of Americans Who Are Unemployed, Underemployed, Or Marginally Attached To The Workforce.
(Bureau of Labor Statistics, Accessed 6/13/12)

12.7 Million:  Unemployed Americans.
(Bureau of Labor Statistics, Accessed 6/13/12)

8.1 Million:  Americans Working Part-Time For Economic Reasons.
(Bureau of Labor Statistics, Accessed 6/13/12)

6.3 Million:  Number Of Americans That Fell Into Poverty Since Obama Took Office.
(U.S. Census Bureau, 9/13/11)

5.4 Million:  Americans Unemployed 27 Weeks Or Longer.

People used to say, "There's no free lunch." 

Those people were fools. 

As we close the fourth year of this ObamaNation, free lunches are found all over the place.  Mostly needed because people can't afford to feed themselves, or their families any longer. 


Why offer Americans a 'hand-up' when you can buy them with a 'hand-out'? 

If re-elected, you can safely bet (oh yes, you will bet - whether you want to, or not) that President Obama will continue to do what he's done for the past 3+ years...

Dress up... 


Talk down... 

And give Americans a multitude of options with which they can embrace mediocrity.

However, as illustrated by the post from the Daily Mail - if you play your cards right, you get lucky, and you submit your name for future e-mail organizational 'notifications', you MIGHT just win dinner with Barack, Michelle, and other 'supporters'...

Just remember as you wash your hands, rub your stomach and stare into the bathroom mirror at your expanded waistline following the Meal to thank the millions of other American Households who are each paying the additional $30,000 of the National Debt so you can get your FREE dinner with the President. 

As for me, I'm happy sitting here eating my PB and J, low-salt chips, and Coke Zero.  It's not much, but it's paid for.  Unlike spending legislated out of DC, our family is working hard to pay as we go. 

But if President Obama figures out how to work with Congress to balance the budget and eliminate deficit spending in his last couple of months in office?  I'll cook HIM dinner, and he won't have to register for feeds from my website, or anything goofy like that.  He'll still be the worst President since Carter, but I'd feed the man if he were here.

I do, however, suspect that my wife and I will lock the dogs away in the upstairs bedroom, you know, just in case he starts longing for the 'unique tastes' of his youth. 

Yumm-O!

Going To The Dogs



Okay, this is wrong, but it's
funny nonetheless...

“With Lolo, I learned how to eat small green chill peppers raw with dinner (plenty of rice), and, away from the dinner table, I was introduced to dog meat (tough), snake meat (tougher), and roasted grasshopper (crunchy).

Like many Indonesians, Lolo followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths.

He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share.” 

--  Barack Obama writing about his childhood with his stepfather Lolo Soetoro in Indonesia.  Chapter Two of his, Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance.

Source:  The Daily Caller

Okay, so young Obama ate 'dog'. 

And, young Romney put 'his dog' in a kennel on top of his car to go on vacation.

Personally, I have never eaten Dog, nor have I lofted one atop our family's Town & Country to travel with.  What does any of this matter?  Well, it doesn't. 

None of the 'dog stuff' matters.

I've held off commenting on this because I didn't know exactly how to 'go at it'.  One one hand, it's a tremendous opportunity to run through a litany of jokes at the expense of the President's pre-puberty culinary choices, as follows (Courtesy of IMAO):

• If a liberal defends Obama’s dog-eating, just say – slowly, and with an honestly-confused look on your face – “yeah… but… Obama. Ate. A. Dog.” Ironically, said liberal will then get angry enough to bite the head off a terrier.
• Obama supposedly ate a dog to gain its powers. Was his goal to lick his own privates, or did he just want to eat cat turds out of a litter box?
• Many Americans are skeptical about whether Obama actually ate a dog, since he has yet to release his original, long-form recipe. 
• Some people are demanding that Obama apologize for eating a dog. Others call the notion ridiculous and insist that nothing short of reparations will suffice.
• At a press briefing, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney responded to inquiries on Obama’s dog-eating by saying “it’s just a distraction”, and NOT – as some outlets reported – “a dachshund.”
• The thing that angers liberals most about “Obama ate a dog” jokes is that they don’t make the people who tell them look racist.
• Obama never actually said he ate a dog. He only said he was “introduced to dog meat.” Begging the question, “after the introductions were over, when did he say his goodbyes?”
• Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis and Clark fame) also ate dog. However, historians have yet to discover a single hilarious photo shopped image of him doing so.

R.I.P.  "Chomper"

On the other hand, I can go after the thing the way I initially reacted to it - with a fair amount of disbelief.  Not disbelief that Mitt Romney strapped a carrier to the top of his car, or President Obama chomped on Chomper, but disbelief that with the issues facing the nation today, these are the things which matter?

Let out that obligatory sigh you're holding, and ask yourself:  What does matter? 

Hmm, do the following matter to you more than 'Dog Wars 2012'?

• Our Economy
• Our National Debt
• Our Kids' Futures
• Our Nation's Future
• Our Constitution

Yeah, perhaps we should focus more on a few of these ditties for the upcoming election season?  They probably mean more to most folks than the President  being asked if 'Braised Whippet is better than fried Lab', or if Romney's 'Seamus' got sick in that kennel from motion-sickness, or due to the number of flies breezing down his gullet? 

Mediocre minds want to know!

Don't get me wrong, both stories are funny (in horrific and tragic ways) but they have nothing to do with anything which actually, 'matters' .  

What is most telling about the launch of "Dog Wars" by David Axelrod (Team Obama) is how LOW the Obama Campaign must go to fire the opening salvos to 'clear the field' of Romney as a candidate. 

Dogs?  Sure, why not?  It's nothing compared to how:  Barack Obama became the Junior Senator from Illinois by destroying first his Democrat opponents and then his Republican opponent.   

The other thing which came to light from this exchange?  How quickly Team Romney responded to the Axelrod Tweet which began the "Dog Wars" shot across the bow (wow wow).

Given this first butt sniff by David Axelrod, it seems that Romney and his team are "in it to win it".  As this 2012 Campaign season promises to take the level of personal carnage to a whole new level of 'Weird' - we'll see if  those nimble amateurs at Camp Romney can keep up with the professional character Terminators of Team Obama. 

I would normally close here with a, "It'll be EPIC", but I believe this will be an understatement when compared to  the actual events preparing to unfold on the National Stage.

But here's the thing:  Both teams, both camps, must remember that it's not about THEM - it's about US (as in 'United States').  While trading barbs over past pet history makes cheap political points and provides fodder for late night TV shows, they do not make our nation stronger, more secure, or self-reliant. 

They do, however, provide an opportunity for me to think back to when I was in Third Grade and this would have been 'milk-shooting-out-the-nose' hysterical.  However, sitting mere weeks away from my third year of the second half of my Century 'birthday'?  They just make us look kind of stupid for spending time on them.   Yes, this would include me, by extension, for spending time on this.  

I'll leave you with these parting thoughts:  As you think about the things which are important to you, decide who best represents your values, your beliefs, your vision for the future, and vote for THEM.

If you've been around a while you know I won't be voting against President Obama - but hey, that's just me.  You can vote for whomever you like.

Hey, since it's Friday I'll leave you with a bit of music to start off your weekend.  Enjoy your time with your family, your friends, and remember to pet your dog.  It's better to 'pet' your dog than it is to 'et' your dog.  

Enjoy!

President Obama: "Dog Eater," the Music Video