Car Wars

C3-PO:  "Where are you going, you annoying little Droid?"

R2-D2:  "Ploop, whistle, pfffrrrattttt....."

C3-PO:  "What do you mean we mean we have to get Back to the Future?  And why are you melding Movie Storylines?"

R2-D2:  "Bbrrrraaff, spliff, doink, vrooom, vroooom!"

C3-PO:  "Why would anyone do that?"

R2-D2:   "Whistle, splazmatt, quinona!" 

C3-PO:  "Because the Emperor is making them?  There is NO Emperor in America you non-sensical pile of bolts!  You have lost whatever lone clue you once had.  You need your drive reformatted."

R2-D2:  "Brazt, prrat, zzzzzzzzzz, Brack Hooozain Zobama!"

C3-PO:  "Oh, him?  I'm sorry, you're probably right...  There's always an Emperor somewhere, and we're all out of Jedi Knights."

The two Droids release an electronic sigh, turn towards the east and begin their long walk home in silence.
 

Associated Press 3:59 p.m. EDT August 18, 2014:  U.S. moving to require cars to talk to each other
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WASHINGTON — The Obama administration said Monday it is taking a first step toward requiring that future cars and light trucks be equipped with technology that enables them to warn each other of potential danger in time to avoid collisions.
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The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said it will begin drafting rules to require the technology in all new vehicles.

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The technology uses a radio signal to continually transmit a vehicle's position, heading, speed and other information. Similarly equipped cars and trucks would receive the same information, and their computers would alert drivers to an impending collision.

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A car would "see" when another car or truck equipped with the same technology was about to run a red light, even if that vehicle were hidden around a corner. A car would also know when a car several vehicles ahead in a line of traffic had made a sudden stop and alert the driver even before the brake lights of the vehicle directly in front illuminate. The technology works up to about 300 yards (275 meters) away.

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If communities choose to invest in the technology, roadways and traffic lights also could start talking to cars, as well, sending warnings of traffic congestion or road hazards ahead in time for drivers to take a detour.

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Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx called the vehicle-to-vehicle technology "the next great advance in saving lives."

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"This technology could move us from helping people survive crashes to helping them avoid crashes altogether — saving lives, saving money and even saving fuel thanks to the widespread benefits it offers," Foxx said.
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Light Saber Optional, not all drivers will qualify, see dealer for details

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In 2011, the average cost of a new car sold in America was $28,400.
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In 2014, this cost figure rose to $31,252.  Why?  Higher labor costs, higher materials cost, and, you guessed it, Federal Regulations.  Back-up cameras, optional in some vehicles today, will be required in 'most' vehicles for Model Year 2018.  How do you define 'Most' vehicles, I have NO Earthly idea, but rest assured, your car will be required to have it whether you like it or not.  And yes, you'll be paying several hundred dollars more for it than you are paying today.
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In 2014, the NHTSA, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, wants, no it N-E-E-D-S you to have your own 'R2-D2' on board to assist you in...
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Not killing yourself.  Presumably because you and I are 'Too Stupid to Live.'

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And, BONUS! What better to implement the much discussed 'Mileage Tax' than to provide a little black (please be aware that this is NOT a racially-charged descriptor) GPS which will tell anyone listing (and oh yes, they will be listening, once again, for your own good) where you have been, how long you have been there, and how far you've driven.
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Agencies of the Federal Government continue their overreach into our daily lives because 'it's what they do'.  And in the years since 2008, they do it better than they ever have done it before.
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Do you want the Federal Government to have a box in your car which controls 'all aspects' of your vehicle's basic operation?  You know, goofy things like braking, engine starting (maybe yes, maybe no), lights on / off control, and continuous tracking of your every auto-related movement in America?  Well, just keep sending the guys who are IN Washington BACK to Washington.  They don't seem to have a problem with someone else being your driving 'partner' in the future - especially if that partner is a Federally-mandated Black Box in your personal vehicle.
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As for me, gosh golly, I kind of DO have a problem with it.
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But hey, that's just me...  

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Hot Deep and Wet

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Scientist #1:  "Bob, about Global Warming, any idea why it's petered out?  Any theories on why the Earth's temperature isn't rising, you know, like we said it must?"
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Scientist #2:  "Um, yeah, about that..."
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Scientist #3:  "Given the complexity of the interpretation of the data and the dynamically changing weather metrics of the past century, the best theory we have at this point is that based upon current evidence from the extrapolation of best known scientific processes would seem to indicate that...  Oh shoot, I don't know."
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Scientist #4:  "Can't we just say that the ocean 'ate our heat'?  You know, like when I used to tell my Third Grade science teacher that my dog ate my homework?"
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Scientist #5:  "Sure, why not?"
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All Scientists in the conference hall:  "So say we one, so say we all!"  
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Scientist #1:  Hey, who wants to go out for Baked Alaska?!?!?"  
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The conference hall empties...
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Yes, a new generation of Global Warming / Climate Change theorists are literally bending over backwards (see illustration above) to figure out who 'took their heat'.  For the record, it wasn't me, although the woman in the photo above, well, I guess she IS kind of 'hot'...  But, I digress. .  
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After decades of predicting increased temperatures across the planet, polar ice melt, and 'really great farming at 'the Earth's Poles', the scientific community has yet another theory to spring on you (and they hope you like this one much better than all the other ones they've given you since the 1970's because THIS one buys them more time for something 'climate changey' to happen and YOU can't prove them wrong - unless you can dive really, really deep into the ocean with a thermometer clenched in your teeth.)
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Come one, come all, as you are invited to hear the latest theory on Global Climate change, and where it went!
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... 

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Has Earth's Missing Heat Been Found?
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In 1999, the feverish rise in Earth's surface temperatures suddenly slowed, even as greenhouse gas emissions escalated. This unexpected slowdown has been called a global warming hiatus or global warming pause. Most climate scientists don't think this hiatus means global warming went kaput, but the reason (or reasons) for the slowdown has scientists flummoxed. Researchers have offered more than two dozen ideas to explain the missing heat. 
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Now, a study published today (Aug. 21) in the journal Science suggests a natural climate cycle in the North Atlantic Ocean gobbled Earth's extra heat. While the study is unlikely to settle the scientific debate, it does support the idea that Earth's global warming continues in the ocean, even when air temperatures stay flat. 
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....
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Scientists have blamed the oceans for the global warming pause before, but they pointed their fingers at the Pacific, not the Atlantic. However, in seeking to test this idea with temperature data, oceanographer Xianyao Chen, of the Ocean University of China in Qingdao, and Tung, an atmospheric scientist, said they couldn't find the missing heat in Pacific Ocean temperature measurements.
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Tung and Chen then searched ocean by ocean until they hit on the North Atlantic, where the heat was playing hooky.  
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...

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Yes, you read the last line above correctly - the author of this article on 'missing' Global Climate Change states that "The heat was playing hooky" in the Atlantic Ocean.  It was over in the Pacific Ocean for a while but now this very same Global Climate Change Heat has moved from West to East and it's 'over here' now, vacationing where President Obama prefers to golf (pretty much anywhere on the East Coast whereupon he can drop his ball).  
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Perhaps that rascally old Global Climate Change Heat knew that the neighborhood was getting 'bad' on the West Coast with all those illegal aliens coming across the border and he moved because he knew that his Pacific neighborhood was going down hill?  What else MIGHT explain it? 
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Someone needs to tell GCCH (Global Climate Change Heat) that the illegal aliens are pretty much everywhere in the U.S. so maybe he should consider a quick slosh further to the East and get himself into the Indian Ocean?  I mean, if you're a 'go wherever you want to go around the world' kind-of-heat like our friend GCCH, why wouldn't you want to travel to nice places like the Arabian Sea, Bay of Bengal, Flores Sea, Great Australian Bight, Gulf of Aden, and / or the Gulf of Oman?  These seem like very exotic and wonderful places, and since GCCH likes to travel (deep below water where non-scientist-types can't find him), sure, why wouldn't he want to get out and stretch his underwater legs once again?
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So the next time you wonder "Hey, what ever happened to that Global Climate Change thing" which you heard about for YEARS, don't look to the sky for the answer, rather, walk into your bathroom and flush your toilet once or twice to send a cooling drink of chlorinated (and fluoridated) water to our friend GCCH.  
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Why?  Because he's hot and needs a drink.  And you'll be doing your part to SAVE the EARTH.
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Thank you for flushing!
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Oh, and before you get all uppity thinking that flushing the toilet is all you need to do to FIX the problem of Global Climate Change just think about THIS...  According to these Baked Alaska eating scientists - Global Climate Change is merely in a state of 'Pause', at any moment it can LEAP back into existence and destroy your world!
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Yeah, so THERE...  
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Have a nice weekend (while you still can)
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[Evil laugh]
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Smoke in the Desert - A Fryer In the Sky

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A literary tip of the hat to the musical group, Deep Purple, without whom, today's post title would not be possible...  And if I have to explain it to you, you most likely won't get it any way, so let's just leave it where it is for now.

Okay, for a teeny tiny CLUE, click the following link:  Deep Purple

We now re-join today's post where we left off, at the absolute, complete, and total - beginning...  

As in, the post begins NOW.

. The classroom is dark save for the light emitted by a small LED from a laptop located on a desk in the front of the room.  The children seated in neat rows of desks find themselves too soon done with their summer vacation.  They sit nervously as the man in the gray suit points a hand-held remote towards a projector mounted to the ceiling, a subtle click is heard, and an electric fan begins churning within the device.  The projector chugs to life as the lamp within begins tossing a grayish light onto the screen at the front of the classroom.

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"So kids, did you all have a good vacation?" the man in the suit asks.

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"It would have been better if it was longer." responds the boy in the front row directly in front of the man.

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A girl toward the back of the room raises her hand and says, "I couldn't WAIT to get back to school!"

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"Why is that young lady?" he asks.

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"Because it was so hot at our house this summer!  We don't have air conditioning, we don't have a pool, and even when we had the fans running in the window at night, it was just plain old HOT.  You know what I mean Mr. Moos?  Do you?" she asks this as the man drops his jacket over the back of the chair at the front of the room.

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"I guess you're saying that it was hot?" he smiles as he asks this.  "Why Stephanie, have you looked at the subject for today's lesson online?  Did a little birdie tell you what we're talking about today?" as he asks this last question the projector jumps fully to life and throws an image on the screen to his left.  "Kids, today's lesson is all about heat, air conditioning, time, AND little birds, but the little birds we'll be talking about?  Well, let's just say that their respective geese are pretty much 'cooked'."

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"Why's that, Mr. Moos?" asks the boy whose vacation we already know was much too short.

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"Because well-meaning people have done what they've always done, they've created a whole host of problems where only one existed to begin with." he says.  "And the problems they've created are really quite impressive, although not in a 'good way'.  Let's look at the problem they were looking to solve and then we can review what they've actually done." he clicks the remote and an image and an article appears on the screen at the front of the classroom.

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... 

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Weather.com:  The state-of-the-art Ivanpah Solar Electric Generating System (ISEGS), which opened in February, is the world's largest solar plant to utilize "power towers,"  skyscraping structures that receive beams of focused solar rays to generate electricity.
.At Ivanpah, the sun's ray's are redirected from a sea of more than 300,000 mirrors on the desert surface below to hit water filled boilers atop three 459-foot "power towers."  Temperatures near the towers can climb to 800 degrees, which causes the water to produce steam that turns turbines which generate energy.
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All told, the facility at Ivanpah generates enough electricity to power 140,000 homes and eliminates carbon dioxide emissions equivalent to 72,000 vehicles a year, according to a press release from Bright Source Energy, one of the trio of investors behind the solar plant.  

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...

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"Hey, Mr. Moos, well, that's GREAT right?  My Mom and Dad tell me that we need to reduce greenhouse gases so the Earth will have time to heal from all the damage we've done to it because we use gas, coal, and scary nuclear power to make electricity!  Little by little we're poisoning our air, our land, and in some cases even our water supplies by drilling, fracking, mining, burning and accessing these fuels," Billy, the boy now speaking, is seated in the back row of the class and pumps his arm up and down because he's so happy that he's able to repeat (pretty much verbatim) what his parents and last year's Science Teacher taught him about the evils of 'fossil fuel generated power'.

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"So, um, Billy, let's take a look at something which you just mentioned.  I believe that you said that we need to give the Earth 'time to heal' from the use of these fossil fuels?  Is this pretty much what you said?" the man asks this while looking at Billy all the while scanning the faces of other students in the classroom.  "We're 'saving the planet', and all that, have I got that right?"  

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"Yeah, well, I guess so..." Billy's voice trails off when he sees that Mr. Moos is now standing with his arms crossed at the front of the room.

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"I heard that too!" Melissa says as her arm flies up over her head.

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"Anyone else hear something similar to this from your parents, or teachers in the past?" asks the man in the front of the room.

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One by one, each child's hand raises his / her hand tentatively over their head.  The man in the front of the classroom shrugs, pulls out the chair behind the desk and sits heavily into his seat.  "Okay kids, let me ask you this, how do YOU describe 'Saving the Planet'?" he asks as he spreads his hands wide apart and looks around at the kids in the classroom.

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A hand slowly goes up in the middle of the room and a boy of about eleven offers the following answer, "I'm thinking that we will save the planet by doing our part to make it safe for all of the creatures who live on it to be unharmed - right?  You know, by not messing up their environment in which they live - is that it?" he asks tentatively.

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"Okay kids, if this is the goal, how do you explain the portion of the article from Weather.com which you haven't seen yet?" he hits the remote button again as the image on the screen at the front of the room changes and additional text appears...

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...

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That sort of renewable energy source might seem like a triumph for the environment, but the same super-heated skyscrapers that generate renewable electricity are also taking a toll on wildlife in the area.
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According to the Associated Press, up to 28,000 birds per year might be meeting an early death after burning up in the focused beams of sunlight, with birds dying at a rate of one bird every two minutes. The burned-up birds are being dubbed "streamers," after the poof of smoke produced by the igniting birds.
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A report by the USFWS states that most of the birds are dying from various levels of exposure to "solar flux" which causes "singeing of feathers."
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"Severe singeing of flight feathers caused catastrophic loss of flying ability, leading to death by impact with the ground or other objects," the report states. "Less severe singeing led to impairment of flight capability, reducing ability to forage and evade predators, leading to starvation or predation."
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A quasi-food chain is being established around the solar plant, with predators eating birds and bats that burn up in the plant's solar rays chasing after insects which are attracted to the bright light from the sun's reflected rays. That prompted wildlife officials to refer to Ivanpah as a "mega-trap" for wildlife.
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.A spokesperson for NRG Solar, another one of the companies behind Ivanpah told the Associated Press that "we take this issue very seriously." So far, the only remedy appears to be cash. BrightSource has anted up $1.8 million to compensate for bird deaths and the trio of companies behind the project is looking into potential solutions to stop wildlife from colliding with the solar plant.

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The kids in the classroom sit at their desks shaking their heads in disbelief.  A hand goes up in the second row and a girl asks the question which most of the kids are asking themselves, "Mr. Moos, how can this be GOOD for the environment, when almost 30,000 birds per year are dying because of this?  I mean, I thought solar power was supposed to SAVE the Earth, instead of killing parts of it?  And what good does paying millions of dollars do to fix it?  Do birds have checking accounts?  Who's getting that money?"

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The man stands and looks to the screen before answering her.  "Marsha, it appears from your questions that you may not believe that this is such an 'Earth-Friendly' solution to our power generation needs?"

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"Mr. Moos, this is terrible.  Don't birds and bats eat insects?  It says in the article that bugs are attracted to the light thrown off by this thing and the birds follow them into this giant toaster oven.  So what happens when insects, like mosquitoes, carrying diseases lose their natural predators?  And, with this summer being as hot as it was in California, how does generating enough 'heat' to boil water at over 800 degrees help in stopping Global Climate Change?  These things are nightmares." Marsha says.

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"Would you feel any better knowing that the same group who built this facility is planning on building another which is roughly TWICE the size of this one?" with this comment the man hits the power button on the remote and the screen goes dark.  He walks to the wall and flips the light switch in the classroom.  "Have a nice day kids," he says as he puts his suit jacket back on.

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"Hey, wait a minute Mr. Moos, you can't tell us about this and just leave it there - what are you going to do about it?" Marsha asks.

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"Me?  What am I going to do about it?  I'm just one guy.  My job is to get out the message, which I believe I have just done.  You kids are going to be stuck with this mess long after I'm gone.  You want to 'Save the Earth'?  Start at home by not wasting electricity, setting your air conditioning thermostat at 78 vs. 72, and then ask your parents to call the people who approve lunatic schemes like this one and tell them to study their environmental impact just like they've demanded of Hydraulic Fracturing.  You cannot chose one technique over another just because it 'Sounds friendlier to the Earth'.  Power generation should not be decided based upon its perceived political correctness."  With this the man walks back to the desk, closes his laptop, picks it up, and begins walking to the door.

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"Mr. Moos, that's it?" Billy asks.

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"Yup, that's it.  Billy, class is over for today, our time is up for now, but we'll talk again, trust me."  The bell in the hall rings and the kids leave the classroom slowly, speaking to each other as they walk out.  "Hey kids, look at the bright side, there's always 'Wind Power', right?" he says with a smirk.

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Yeah, there's always Wind Power...  

But from an environmental perspective, it kind of blows too:  Cuisinarts of the Gods 

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From My Cold Dead (and Sticky) Hands

"Hey kid, you'll put that sign down if you know what's good for you..."

As the summer of 2014 inches inexorably towards fall, children across America have one more reason to dread returning to their local 'Temple of Pure Thought'...  The Great American Bake Sale, the lone redeeming feature of the US Educational System, like so much else we knew (and in my case, 'LOVED') in elementary / high school is under attack.

But don't be alarmed, it's for the good of the children.

  
August 1, 2014 Wall Street Journal Online:  Put Down the Cupcake: New Ban Hits School Bake Sales
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Campus bake sales—a mainstay of school fundraisers—are going on a diet. A federal law that aims to curb childhood obesity means that, in dozens of states, bake sales must adhere to nutrition requirements that could replace cupcakes and brownies with fruit cups and granola bars.
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The restrictions that took effect in July stem from the 2010 Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act championed by first lady Michelle Obama and her "Let's Move!" campaign. The law overhauled nutrition standards affecting more than 30 million children.
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The law also required the U.S. Department of Agriculture to set standards for all food and beverages sold during the school day, which includes vending machines, snack carts and daytime fundraisers. It allowed for "infrequent" fundraisers, and states were allowed to decide how many bake sales they would have that didn't meet nutrition standards.
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Without state-approved exemptions, any treats sold would have to meet calorie, sodium, fat and other requirements. The law permits states to fine schools that don't comply.
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Tennessee will allow schools to sell food items that tip the federal scales for 30 days each year.
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"Schools have relied on these types of sales as revenue streams for sports, cheering clubs, marching bands," said David Sevier, deputy executive director of the Tennessee Board of Education. "We get the obesity issue, but we don't want to jerk this out from under the kids."
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In advance of the law, some schools had already banned students from a near-sacred activity: setting up tables to sell boxes of Girl Scout cookies during the day. There are also those that have replaced food-centric fundraisers with calorie-free events such as wrapping-paper sales, pie-throwing events and bowl-a-thons. Others have prohibited homemade fare in favor of processed items where the nutritional information is calculated and displayed.
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"Some don't follow the spirit and set up bake sales right after the bell rings," said Christine Jovanovic, of Austin, who is a member of the parent-teacher association at Canyon Vista Middle School and Westwood High School.
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The result of the new requirements may be more processed-food products.
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"We use prepackaged food because it has to have nutritional requirements posted," said Keli Gill, president-elect of the Arkansas PTA, where the state has had nutrition standards for bake sales for a few years. "Items like apples are perishable and don't last as long, so we don't want to waste money and have it go bad on us."

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Yes, your Federal Government is looking out for your kids, because it (the Federal Government) loves them so much more than you do...
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A couple of questions spring to mind.  Questions for which I would really appreciate some answers from Michelle Obama and the Federal Government in general:
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1. Schools have replaced bake sales with 'non-food-centric-events' such as Pie Tossing (last time I looked, I'm pretty sure that a PIE was 'some sort of food'), wrapping paper sales (Oops, wouldn't some wrapping paper feature a 'Jolly Old Elf' celebrating Christmas?!?!  Since when does the Federal Government support religious events?) and 'Bowl-A-Thons' (quick question, has anyone ELSE been to a bowling alley lately?  Don't they serve alcohol to overweight, slovenly adults AND sell extremely unhealthy food from that grease-laden snack bar they've got set up there?  So it's okay to put kids in an environment where people are drinking AND eating junk food at a school-sponsored event, just so long as you don't do it on school property?  What's up next, Sex Education classes taught by 'professionals' in stiletto heels, tear-away clothing, and women (and men?) sporting 'safe-sex-themed'...  'Tramp Stamps'?)
2. Bake sales are OKAY, as long as they happen after school hours?  Calories do not COUNT after the bell rings?  Knowing this, I'll be installing a portable bell at my dinner table and ring it just before jumping into the Apple Pie a la mode.
3. The legislation may result in more 'Pre-Packaged Food' being sold at school?  Yes, why would you want freshly-baked goods when you can purchase something which was belched out of a factory conveyor line roughly 22 months ago?  So it's more important to buy food with a Federally-recognized 'label' (and BONUS! chocked full of preservatives), than it is to buy something which was flour, eggs, and sugar yesterday in some Mom or Dad's home kitchen?  So Twinkies (with a shelf-life of the half life of Plutonium) are preferable to my Mom's brownies?  Thanks, but, um, no thanks.
4. Items which are perishable (like apples) are a waste of money because they don't last 'long enough to sell'?  Hey lady, it's a BAKE SALE, not a freaking FARM STAND!  If a kid WANTS an apple, they can get it courtesy of the First Lady's horrific school lunch program - cut these kids a break and let them buy something BAKED in the oven if they choose to.  If kids are not smart enough to eat well, perhaps their parents (which you people educated) aren't smart enough to have kids in the first place).  Come to think of it, this explains...  A lot.

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 Okay, here's the deal, I know there's a lot going on in the World lately.  I also know that 'Banning Bake Sales' is NOT the end of the World.  But I know that whenever Freedom is taken away ('bite-by-small-bite') the World which I knew growing up...  Will never be quite the same.
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One last question for you before I need to get out to work:  How does eliminating Bake Sales which raise money for school Marching Bands, Soccer Teams, Baseball Teams, and other after school activities make kids healthier?  Each extra-curricular event encourages kids to be involved with other kids, keeps them motivated, keeps them moving, and, unless I'm missing something, keeps them healthier than if they were sitting at home eating a bag of 22-month old Doritos while watching YouTube videos of idiots on skateboards.
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Without the external funding (from bake sales and other fund raisers), these programs are diminished, AND without additional financial support will...  Die.  
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So either one of two things are happening:
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1. Michelle Obama's 'Let's Move' Campaign is just another means to and end in increasing demands on state and federal government, or,
2. It is merely a means of teaching 'your kids' to 'comply' with whatever onerous legislation is passed for 'their kids' (the worst-case scenario, is, of course, that the intended result of this legislation is meant to cause both)

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Like I said before, Freedom doesn't disappear in a single bite, it's gnawed away while you're looking elsewhere.  You know, like when you're watching a flagging Economy, seeing more than 50% of the US population on Federal Support, the Immigration debacle, Russia's annexation of the Ukraine, or perhaps if you're looking to a far-away country where our Vacationer-In-Chief left an unprepared people to fend for themselves and is now investing resources to a job which he left unfinished in the first place.
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Never lose sight of the bigger (and smaller) pictures, for they all tell a similar story.  The only question remaining, of course, is...  
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How will the story end?
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