'Bouncing' The Cat

This, from Wikipedia:  The term "dead cat bounce" is derived from the idea that "even a dead cat will bounce if it falls from a great height".


Also:  Dead cat bounce is a Wall Street term that refers to a small, brief recovery in the price of a declining stock.

I've heard quite a bit over the past two days about President Obama's approval rating jumping 10% following the announcement of UBL's (or OBL's) departure from this plane of existence. 

Within hours of UBL's (or, you know, OBL's) death proclamation by President Obama the media lit up their multiple outlets with stories about the focus of THIS President on the primary objective of the War on Terror (not sure, can I still call it the 'War on Terror'?  If not, please accept my apologies.) 

This new talking points objective?:  The death of ONE MAN.

Oh, now I get it. Sunday evening the War on Terror morphed into the War on Bin Laden. 

Thanks for sharing the news with us, CBS, NBC, ABC, HuffingtonPost, NY Times, and Fox News.  No, seriously, 'Mission Accomplished'.  It's good to know that after almost ten years, the loss of thousands of soldiers' lives in combat, Billions of dollars spent that we were, 'wrong' the whole time.  

So while the death of ONE man holds the hopes of our [IRONY ALERT] Nobel-Peace-Price-winning President Obama's approval resurrection, let me ask you this:  What's next?

The President is taking his first trip to 'Ground Zero' today to bask in the adoration of the grateful American Nation.  GW Bush declined the invitation to attend this 'Love' (or perhaps, 'Death') Fest in Manhattan, to his credit.

Today's trip to Ground Zero will usher in the decline of President Obama's approval 'bump'.  Soak up the sun oh great pontificator, dispenser of truth, protector of America, and 'sensitive to the needs of the Muslim burial proceedings' President Obama - for as the sun sets today, your approval rating will as surely begin its descent.

For a while Pew and other sources will be focusing America on the greatness of this man, but I looked at another poll. A poll which I believe will outlast the momentary glow of the President's accomplishment (watching his announcement Sunday evening - HE did it all, apparently, with some small amount of support by the military).  

The 'Other Poll' was a Rasmussen Poll from April 25th, 2011.  In this poll, only 25% of Americans believe that America is heading in the right direction.  One year earlier this number stood at 33%. 

Yeah, yet more 'change you can believe in'.

As the glow from his beneficent countenance fades from LCD's all across America this evening, Americans will once again be concerning themselves with the business of America - working, caring for their families and paying their bills.  And once they do, they will remember, and focus upon why three out of four of them are 'concerned' about the direction of our nation is heading on.

Then, the bounce ends, and the approval of that multi-lived 'Cat' in the White House once again...

Falls.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

p.s.:  My hat’s off to the people who actually made this happen, the military, the CIA, and those serving at Gitmo who got the information which lead intelligence ‘down the road’ to Pakistan.


 

p.p.s.:  Giving President Obama credit for the feat of  ‘getting Osama’ is like giving credit to the guy who answered your phone call for making, then delivering your pizza, uphill (both ways) in a snowstorm, in less than 15 minutes while the pizza is still ‘piping hot’.  The phone answerer (a.k.a.:  The President) ’took the order’ as others did the heavy lifting to pull it off – yes, the guy answering the phone was NOT the team which made, or delivered the pizza.  It was merely the 'Kid' who answered the phone. 

p.p.p.s.:  Please remember to TIP your pizza delivery people, your CIA, and our Members of the US Military.  If I remember correctly, President Obama and Harry Reid told the American people less than one month ago that they did not want to PAY these people serving in our Armed Forces.  In retrospect, this doesn't seem right, now does it?

These people, after all, work for a living.  They get the call.


UPDATE 9:10PM:  Oh, oh, Rasmussen did another poll. 


You can access it HERE 

Meet Your New - Tax Consultant!

Hey America!!!

Looking for someone to prepare your tax returns?

Looking for a person who is good with 'Numbers'?
(He / she is 'wearing' numbers, after all!)

Looking for a person who's available ALL the time? 
(During normal visitation hours)

Looking to (possibly) meet your perfect mate?!?! 
(I hear it happens!)

Well LOOK no more!!!


I have FOUND your perfect Tax-Preparation--With-High-Availability (Romance-is-Possible) Partner!!!

Some Ivy League Accounting School?  Nah, that would be too expensive.

Your local H&R Block Office?  Well, maybe, if the post I put on FaceBook a few moments ago comes to fruition.

Okay, no more guessing!

You can find your Tax Preparation (and possible 'Life-Mate') at your local...  [Drumroll]State Penal Institution!

Yes, I stumbled across a story on The Dailer Caller which states that 50,000 inmates have filed Income Tax Returns WITHOUT any wage (earnings) documentation.  If approved, these returns would provide $130,000,000 in Federal refunds to people, who presumably, will buy a LOT of cigarettes and DingDongs from the 'Cart' as it rattles along the Green Mile (sorry, had to go there).

In a report to be released at the end of 2010, 'presumably fraudulent claims' in 2010 increased over 50% since 2009.  In fact, the IRS has 'identified' nearly 250,000 fraudulent tax returns from prison inmates - totalling $1,480,000,000 (as in "$1.48BILLION) in bogus filing requests.
From the article on The Daily Caller:

“While the IRS is identifying larger numbers of fraudulent returns, improvements must be made to its screening processes to ensure that returns filed by prisoners get adequate scrutiny,” said J. Russell George, the Treasury inspector general for tax administration. “Expanded and expedited access to wage and withholding information would significantly increase the IRS’s ability to verify information reported on a tax return when processed, and prevent fraud.”

The IRS issued a statement saying the agency takes refund fraud seriously and aggressively fights it.

“The IRS is very successful at detecting and stopping incorrect refunds, including criminal refund fraud, and overall prevents 98 percent of questionable claims from being issued,” the statement said.

The ANSWER to the problem of bogus prison filings? 

Wait for it...

You already know what it is... 

Continuing from the article online:  “However, without congressional action to require state and federal prisons to report the status of inmates to the IRS, there will be gaps in the prison data and compliance problems will persist,” the IRS said in its statement.Yes, if only we had MORE government.  Wouldn't this make the world a better place?

So anyway, getting back to the original premise of this post, since these folks are filing income tax returns anyway, why not sub-contract them out to H&R Block and shut down all those little offices in strip malls across the country? 

Why? 

Just think about it for a moment... 

We'd reduce our carbon footprint by shuttering these rent-a-tax-guy spots in malls across the country!

You'd know where your tax guy / gal IS 'most' of the time! 

He / she would have standardized visiting hours across the state!

You're already 'paying he / she' to bask in the luxury of their heated-cooled-cabled resort complex so you'd get your taxes done - for free!

And, the greatest benefit of all...

IF your incarcerated Tax Advisor CHEATS on YOUR taxes - you don't go to jail!  He (or she) gets an extra six months' sentence added to whatever conviction sentences are facing them today!

It's a WIN, WIN, WIN scenario!

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, allow me to introduce to you the NEW face of Pre-Paid Tax Preparation in America...


Bernie says, "I'll take care of YOUR money like it was MY money.  (Because it's ALL my money)"

Oh, forgot to mention, with the increasing number of illegal aliens in prison?  'Translation Services' for non-English speaking Americans -- FREE!

I'll be sending a link to this post to the White House today. 

I think it's a great idea!!!

How 'bout you?

Join the NEW Moo-vement!

Why settle for these old, worn out titles?
"Birthers"
"Truthers"
"6 Percent-ers"

Okay, probably need to set things up a bit here:

First, I believe that Osama Bin Laden is 'no more'.

Second, I believe that he was killed in Pakistan

Third, Pretty much all other facts reported by the Admininstration are up for grabs...

Here's the thing:  Everything about the announcements coming from of the White House since Sunday evening has seemed too 'Perfect' to me - stereotypically 'Perfect', even. 

Please indulge me for a moment, okay? 

Thanks.

We have heard that Osama (or Usama depending on the network reporting) was found in his 'Mansion-like' home in Pakistan just a stone's throw away from a bunch of retired Pakistani Generals, Colonels, and other "High Ranking" folks either currently serving in, or formerly serving in Pakistan's Military.  He was also 'just down the road a-ways' from the Pakistani equivalent (so I'm told) of West Point.  

Helicopters swoop in (all except one, which has technical difficulties), land at the property, Seals pour out of the choppers like water out a colendar, burst into the Compound, tell the residents to "Give up or we shoot" (the residents, apparently, do not give up) chaos ensues, they end up on the third-floor of the stucture with Osama Bin Laden hiding behind his wife (using her as a human shield), the Seals open fire, effectively turning the lights off for all eternity for Public Enemy #1.  

The team carries his body back to the choppers, take off, travel a while, land on an aircraft carrier (um, somewhere - I assume it was floating in some body of water nearby), obtain his DNA (Ewwwwww), clean his wounds, wrap him in white linen, say a few words as part of a sensitive Islamic religious service, then lower he and a weighted-down pallet into the sea where he can presumably do no more further harm than giving indigestion to some un-suspecting shark dining upon the corpse.

It's much too 'scripted' to me.  I've read Tom Clancy - this all sounded 'familiar'... 

It's what I thought on Monday, and it's moreso as I type this today during my quickly-expiring lunch hour.  Okay, let's cut out the 'spurious language' and boil it down to the nuts and bolts version:

• "Dead or Alive, you're coming with us!"  BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM!!!! [Gunfire]
• Bin Laden hides behind his wife for cover, they are both killed in the exchange of fire
• ONLY his body is removed from the compound, flown to the awaiting Carrier
• He's cleaned up and buried within hours of his demise

Then, of course, there's these 'inconvenient truths', I found on Politico today:

The White House backed away Monday evening from key details in its narrative about the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, including claims by senior U.S. officials that the Al Qaeda leader had a weapon and may have fired it during a gun battle with U.S. forces.

Officials also retreated from claims that one of bin Laden’s wives was killed in the raid and that bin Laden was using her as a human shield before she was shot by U.S. forces.

...

At a televised White House briefing Monday afternoon, Deputy National Security Adviser John Brennan said bin Laden joined in the fight that several residents of the Abbottabad, Pakistan, compound put up against the Navy SEALs during the 40-minute operation.

“He [bin Laden] was engaged in a firefight with those that entered the area of the house he was in. And whether or not he got off any rounds, I quite frankly don’t know,” Brennan said.

At a Pentagon briefing earlier in the day, a senior defense official said bin Laden used a woman as a human shield so he could fire shots. “He was firing behind her,” the official said.

...

Another White House official familiar with the TV briefing confirmed the change to POLITICO, adding, “I’m not aware of him having a weapon.”

“The bottom line is the team that entered that room was met with resistance and took appropriate action,” said a third American official.

The White House on Monday night declined to elaborate on the nature of the resistance bin Laden allegedly put up. However, an official confirmed that the Al Qaeda founder was shot twice, once in the head and once in the chest.

...

“A different guy’s wife was killed,” a different official familiar with the briefing for TV reporters said Monday night. Bin Laden’s wife was “injured but not killed,” the official said.

Another official familiar with the operation said it did not appear that any woman was used as a human shield, but that the woman killed and the one injured were hurt in the crossfire.

“Two women were shot here. It sounds like their fates were mixed up,” said the U.S. official. “This is hours old and the full facts are still being ascertained as those involved are debriefed.”

The White House didn’t offer a reason for any of the changes. However, Brennan noted during his televised briefing that his information came from reports from the scene as well as live video feeds of the raid. “I wasn’t there,” he said.

Okay, so I WASN'T THERE either, but I'm wondering, given the number of discrepancies over the past 48 hours - was ANYONE there who remembers ANYTHING? 

I saw the President, Joe Biden, and Hillary Clinton WATCHING the thing unfold via wireless video and audio - what don't THEY know, and WHEN didn't they know it?

And, why weren't THEY filling us in on the details if this guy can't remember 'Nuthin'?

Next Up:  Here comes the 'Gotcha'...

If the President is going to get pushed into releasing the death photos of OBL (or 'UBL'), will they be the 'oogey bloody' ones, or the 'nights in White Linen' cleaned-up versions? 

Because if they're too 'oogey' we're going to have a bunch of Muslim folks even more upset with us than they already are (although, this is pretty hard to imagine).  If they're 'too clean' and life-like in appearance - no one will believe he's dead on Main Street, USA. 

On this one, I believe the President will 'lose' either way.  Not because we don't believe the military, but rather, because we don't believe the veracity of the statements coming out of the White House thus far regarding this neatly-wrapped bit of story-telling.  It's only been 48 hours and the story continues to 'Morph' daily. 

It is with this in mind that I'd like to begin a NEW Secret Conspiracy Organization... 
(Or 'NSCO', if you're into acronyms)

I am a 'Proofer'

From now on, no matter what this Administration (or any Administration, for that matter) tells me, I want, simply stated... 

'Proof' 

I'm assuming that I'll be able to absorb the competing factions of 'Birthers' and 'Truthers' into my  group because all us NUT JOBS need to stick together. 

I was having a conversation with one of the guys in my office yesterday (he's ex-Navy) and he told me that he also thought that the story thus far sounded a bit too 'manufactured' for public consumption also. 

I then proceeded to tell him that approximately six percent of the American Public still does not believe that we landed men on the moon.  He got really quiet, sat down, and looked at me 'square in the eye'. 

"So, you think if we had a really powerful telescope and we aimed it at the moon that we'd see that flag sitting up there on a pole?"

"Sure we would!" I said.

"I dont' think so." he responded.

Okay, so now there are TWO of us!

You too, can join the Moo-vement!

Adding you into the mix (take the original two of us and add you, that'll be)...

This'll make our moo-vement 'several thousand strong'!

(According to the most stringently verifiable government estimates...)

No human shields were utilized in the generation of this post.  Although, my dog looks nervous sitting next to me on the floor here...  I wonder what SHE's got to hide???

Seriously, You Cannot Win...

Here I sit, preparing to leave the office when I think to myself, "Self, maybe you should do a quick scan of current 'Weird News' to see if there'll be anything to post about tomorrow when you're off from work?"

Why wait till tomorrow for something you can do while your kids are at home starving???

So I scanned a site.  I WENT there. 

And this is what I found when I arrived...

Environmental groups sue to block wind farm

But, I thought Wind Farms were...  GOOD?
Nah, wind farms USED to be good. 

Now, to environmentalists (who REALLY care) power-generating wind mills are 'SPINNING WINGS OF DEATH'...

From the article: 

Some conservationists have filed a federal lawsuit seeking to block the startup of Maryland's first industrial wind farm because it allegedly threatens federally protected Indiana bats.

The complaint filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Greenbelt seeks to stop Baltimore-based Constellation Energy Group Inc. from beginning operation of its 28 turbines on Backbone Mountain in Garrett County unless the company first obtains an "incidental take permit" from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service for any Indiana bats that might be hit or injured by the spinning blades.

...

A similar lawsuit brought in the same Greenbelt court last year forced developers of a West Virginia wind project to reduce the number of planned turbines after the judge ruled that Indiana bats hibernating in the area almost certainly would be harmed by the blades. The West Virginia developer also agreed not to operate the turbines at night or at times of year when the bats would be flying until it obtained federal permits.

...

They claim they wind turbines, with blades extending 415 feet high, will "almost certainly" injure or kill Indiana bats.

The small brownish-black mammals range across much of the eastern United States, but their population is so low and thinly spread that federal officials consider them at risk of extinction. Listening equipment Constellation set up while building the turbines this year detected calls of Indiana bats. The lawsuit contends there is a "robust population" of Indiana bats that hibernates in a cave 13 miles from the project site.


Strictly an observation on my part, but it would appear that Indiana Bats MAY be an endangered species - however, there's no shortage of Moon-Bats in the State of Maryland.  I wonder how these folks will get the electricity to power their $42,000 Chevrolet 'Volts' to cruise the alloted 20 miles from home to view these bat caves and get back again?

They certainly can't use OIL to generate the electricity (last time I looked, we're FLAT out of dinosaurs).

They can't use COAL (because it's 'dirty' and 'Mama says' that being 'dirty' is BAD.  And you'll never meet NICE people if you're 'dirty'.)

They can't use NUCLEAR because, well, just because.  Venture back to my post earlier this week about Chernobyl for additional 'Glow in the Dark' fun.

And NOW, they don't want us to use WIND POWER because we might end up 'Cuisinarting' these wonderful little bats.  (But I hear that they ARE delicious the way Paula Deen cooks 'em up with a little butter, flour, and salt!)

     Awwww, isn't he CUTE?!?!

I don't know folks.  Seems like the only POWER SOURCE left us as an option is HEAT POWER. 

[This would be the power we COULD capture from the amount of HOT AIR coming from Environmentalists given some new, highly-efficient, thermal technology]

These folks, apparently, will not be happy until we're all driving with Fred...

Yabba.  Dabba.  Doo...

Oh, look, a (purple) dinosaur!!!

I can't wait until 2012 - when the Mayan Calendar runs out. 

You thought this year is weird so far? 

You ain't seen nothing yet.